东邻西舍
The Neighborhood
第一季
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东邻西舍
The Neighborhood S01E16
Part 3
Nov. 27, 2019, 2:15 p.m.
很好 你刚回答了我下个问题
Good. You just answered my next question.
大家好
Hey, guys.
宝贝 我刚叠完你的衣服
Hey, baby. I just finished folding your laundry.
太好了 我的幸运衬衣应该就在里面
Oh, good, 'cause I think my lucky shirt's in there,
我要穿上它跟埃博妮约会
and I'm-a need it for my date with Ebony.
这么巧 你们都在跟一个叫埃博妮的女孩聊
What are the odds of you both talking to girls named Eb...?
不是吧
Aw, hell no.
你们让我的两个希望都落空了
You both got my hopes up for nothing.
那个女孩是个婊♥子♥
That girl's a ho.
她不是
No, she's not.
是吗 什么样的女孩
Oh, yeah? What kind of girl
同时跟兄弟俩约会
dates two brothers at the same time?
她不知道我们是兄弟
She doesn't know we're brothers.
对 妈 知道了就很尴尬了
Yeah, Mom, that would be weird.
不敢相信你们两个
You know, I-I-I can't believe you two.
你们是说 满世界都是女人
You mean to tell me that, in a world full of women,
你们却非要冒着手足相残的风险
you'll seriously risk your relationship
去抢同一个女孩
fighting over the same girl?
-当然了 -必须的
- Definitely. - Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
你还好吗
So, how you holding up, man?
很糟
Terrible.
我还是没法直视杰玛的眼睛
I still can't look Gemma in the eye.
我感觉她会发现的
I feel like she's gonna know.
你别跟我来希科里街口那套
Don't you go Hickory Corners on me.
这样真好 再次感谢你邀请我们
This is so nice. Thanks again for having us.
客气了 这是我们的荣幸 对吗 戴夫
Oh, please. It's our pleasure. Right, Dave?
对
Yeah.
你在看什么呢 戴夫
What are you looking at, Dave?
有只虫子
There's a bug.
对
Oh-oh, yeah,
对 我也看见了 它...
yeah, I see it, too. It's, uh...
在那 打到了
There. Got it.
-卡尔文 -怎么了
- Calvin. - What?
看着像会咬人
It looked like the bitey kind.
西尼罗河病毒正在流行呢
West Nile is in these streets.
我们应该一起干个杯
You know what, we should toast.
戴夫 要不你给大家再倒点酒吧
Dave, why don't you pour everyone some more wine?
好 真是个好主意
Yeah, that's a great idea.
卡尔文 酒来了
Calvin, here you go.
-缇娜 -谢谢
- Tina. - Thank you.
亲爱的
Dear...
-戴夫 -不
- Dave! - Oh, no!
对不起 对不起 很抱歉
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..
-我得去清理一下 -天呐
- I got to go clean this up. - Oh, my goodness.
-真对不起 -洒了一沙发
- I'm so sorry. - It got all over your couch--
找错老婆了 戴夫
Wrong wife, Dave.
伙计
Dude.
你中了什么邪
What is wrong with you, man?
-你得振作起来 -我做不到
- You got to pull it together. - I can't!
我的手心全是汗 我的心快要跳出喉咙管了
My hands are all sweaty, my heart is pounding in my throat.
你是说那种被逼无奈去献血时的感受吗
You mean like the way I felt when I had to give blood today?
她戳了四针才找到血管
It took her four stabs to find a vein.
戴夫怎么了 他最近都很不对劲
What is up with Dave? He's been acting so weird.
嗯 他本来已经够不对劲了
Yeah, even for him.
卡尔文最近也有点不知所谓
You know, Calvin's been acting funny, too.
怎么说
How?
要是有蚊子要给戴夫传染西尼罗河病毒
Well, if a mosquito was gonna give Dave West Nile,
卡尔文是不会去阻止的
I don't think Calvin would stop it.
或许是因为他们去了同一家俱乐部
Maybe it's because they're in the same club.
什么俱乐部
What club?
环保回收俱乐部
The recycling club.
昨晚我看见他俩在嘀咕这件事的
I saw them outside last night whispering about it.
是吗
Oh, really?
是的 然后爸爸给了卡尔文先生一些钱
Yeah, then Dad gave Mr. Calvin some money.
多少钱
How much money?
不知道 可能有一百万
I don't know, probably like a million dollars.
亲爱的 你上♥床♥去吧
Okay, sweetie, why don't you run off to bed?
好的 不过把那个空瓶子留给我
Okay... but save that empty bottle for me.
我想加入那个俱乐部赚钱
I want to join that club and get paid.
那小子越来越像黑人了
You know, that little boy is getting blacker and blacker.
真不敢相信戴夫把钱给卡尔文了
I can't believe Dave gave Calvin that money.
我明确告诉他我想要尊重我们的友谊
I specifically told him I was trying to honor our friendship.
我也是这么跟卡尔文说的
I told Calvin the same thing,
但是显然他们俩的自负更重要
but apparently their egos are more important.
场面本来可能变得不可收拾
This could have gotten really ugly.
如果你发现戴夫把钱给卡尔文了
If you'd found out about Dave paying Calvin
然后觉得是我默许的
and thought that I was okay with it...
我会很生气
I would've been pissed.
对 然后我们会打起来
Yeah, and then we would've been in a fight.
不是真的打
Not a real one.
你可不想尝这对拳头
You don't want to catch these hands.
都是因为他们
And all because of them.
应该给他们上一课
They should be taught a lesson.
怎么上
How?
也许我们应该打起来
Maybe we should get into a fight.
好吧 但我不想尝那对拳头
Okay. But I don't want to catch those hands.
振作点 伙计 我们只要熬过晚餐
Come on, man, look, we just have to make it through dinner
然后就再也不用见面了
and we never have to see each other again.
这怎么能解决我的问题
How is that gonna fix my problem?
确实不能 但能解决我的问题
It doesn't. It fixes mine.
你简直不可理喻 杰玛·强森
You know, I cannot believe you, Gemma Johnson!
我们本该是朋友的 可是你...
We're supposed to be friends, but you're...
你是隔壁的骗子
you're just the liar next door.
我们真的是朋友 缇娜
We are friends, Tina.
你一定要相信我 我不知情
You have to believe me, I didn't know.
这是怎么回事
Okay, what is going on?
我发现真♥相♥了 戴夫把钱给你了
I found out the truth that Dave gave you the money.
-好吧 -天啊
- Oh, okay. - Oh, God.
而且是杰玛逼你俩这样做的
And that Gemma was the one who forced you both to do it.
-对 -什么
- Yes. - What?
对 就是她
Yes, it was her.
知道吗 缇娜
You know what, Tina?
我受够了你和你的诬蔑
I am sick of you and your false accusations.
你试试再对我无礼 看看会发生什么
Disrespect me one more time and see what happens.
真的吗 就凭你这个假芭比
Oh, really, you little fake-ass Barbie?
你要干什么
What you gonna do?
说啊
Tell me what you gonna do.
我来告诉你我要干什么
Oh, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
我要让你尝尝这对拳头
I'm gonna make you catch these hands.
你听见了吗
Did you hear what she said to me?!
缇娜 请听我说
Tina, please.
杰玛根本没有插手这件事
Gemma had nothing to do with this.
她没插手
She didn't?
对
No.
是真的吗 卡尔文
Is this true, Calvin?
他说得对 宝贝
Yeah, he's right, babe.
全是戴夫搞的鬼
It was all Dave.
你不是吧 卡尔文
Seriously, Calvin?
好吧 是我们俩
Look, fine, it was both of us.
我们真的很抱歉
We're really sorry.
骗到你们了
Yay! We got you!
我们只是假装打架
We were just pretending to fight.
天啊 你演得太像了
Oh, my God! You were so good.
天啊 不 是你演得太像了
Oh, my God, no, you were so good.
"隔壁的骗子"
"The liar next door."
我当时突然想到的
You know, that just came to me in the moment.
-天啊 你太厉害了 -等一下
- Oh, my God, you're so good. - Now, hold on.
你们演这一出就是为了耍我们
This whole thing was fake just to make us look like fools?
对 而且成功了
Yeah, and it worked.
我的心跳得好快
My heart is racing.
东邻西舍
The Neighborhood
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