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一想到我花了整个早上
And to think I spent all morning
洗床单上的蜂蜜我就来气
getting honey out of my sheets!
怎么回事
What?
宝贝 缇娜
Hey, baby. Tina?
门不小心关上了
The door locked accidentally.
你觉得自己很滑头
You thought you was slick.
骗我说把钥匙给了戴夫
Lying to me about giving Dave the key?
-宝贝 听我解释 -你是得解释
- Babe, let me explain. - Oh. You're gonna explain.
等下 你在... 你要打给谁
Okay. Wait. What you...? Who you calling?
戴夫
Hey, Dave!
能帮个忙吗
Yeah. Can you do me a favor?
我在商店里 卡尔文把自己锁在家外了
I'm at the store, and apparently, Calvin locked himself outside.
大傻瓜
Big dummy.
缇娜 拜托了 宝贝 我可是你亲老公
Tina, come on. Baby, I'm your husband.
我们昨晚还身心愉悦来着
We were sensual last night.
是吗
Oh, you will?
太感谢了 戴夫 你最好了
Thanks so much, Dave. You're the best.
你一点也不好
And you ain't.
马尔科姆
Hey, Malcolm?
马尔科姆 马尔科姆 快出来
Hey, Malcolm! Malcolm, come on, man.
你妈妈疯了 快来给我开门
Your mama trippin'. Come and unlock the door!
帮不了你 兄弟
I can't help you, bruh.
卡尔文 我刚和缇娜通了电♥话♥
Hey, Calvin, I just got off with Tina.
把你家的钥匙拿来了
Got your keys right here.
马尔科姆 马尔科姆 快开门 求你了
Malcolm! Malcolm, come on, open the door, please.
我爱你 儿子
I love you, son.
我说过你不会后悔的
I told you you wouldn't regret this.
-我来帮你开门 -好啊
- All right, let me open her up for you. - All right.
-好的 -没问题
- Okay. - Yeah.
-这就开门 -马上就开
- Here we go. - There we go.
你为什么挡着门
Why are you blocking the door?
我没挡着门
I'm not blocking the door.
这个该换了
Gotta change these out.
这不是你家的钥匙 对不对
This isn't a key to your house, is it?
-当然是 -你确定吗
- Of course it is. - You sure?
确定以及肯定
Sure I'm sure.
那如果我把钥匙插♥进♥锁里 门会打开吗
So if I put this key in that lock, that door'll open?
不会打开
It will not.
-不可理喻 -戴夫 别走
- Unbelievable! - Look, Dave, no.
听我解释 戴夫
Let me explain it to you, Dave.
别这样 戴夫
Don't be like that. Dave!
大底城的戴夫
Dave from the D!
你在煮什么
What are you making?
芝士通心粉
Mac and cheese.
我需要些安慰食物
I needed some comfort food.
为什么是棕色的
Why is it brown?
我们只有巧克力牛奶
All we had was chocolate milk.
亲爱的 卡尔文这事你得翻篇了
Sweetie, you got to get over this Calvin thing.
但我们是邻居 我们应该是朋友
But we're neighbors. We should be friends.
我知道你生气了 但你应该明白
I know you're upset, but you do realize
这算是你的错
this is kind of your fault.
为什么
How?
拜托 承认吧
Come on, admit it.
你给卡尔文钥匙的真正原因
The real reason you gave Calvin a key
是因为你希望他能给你钥匙
is because you were hoping he'd give you one.
就像你给我按♥摩♥背部是因为你也想被按♥摩♥
Like when you give me a back rub because you want one, too.
并非如此 我都不喜欢背部按♥摩♥
Oh, that's not true. I don't even like back rubs.
我那样做是因为我想滚床单
I do it because I want to have sex.
没错 你不是真诚地付出
Exactly. You're not giving it because you want to,
你付出是为了得到回报
you're giving it because you want something in return.
其实 有时我觉得你向每个人
In fact, sometimes I think the only reason
挥手的唯一原因
you wave at everybody is because
是因为你想他们向你挥手
you want them to wave at you.
你好大胆子
How dare you?
说说而已 也许在你沉迷于
Just saying, maybe you should think about it
恶心的可怜通心粉时 可以考虑一下
while you wallow in your disgusting pity pasta.
你来干什么
What are you doing here?
我来取洗完的衣服
I got to get my laundry back.
我只剩泳裤可穿了
Man, I'm down to my swimming trunks.
你这是踏入火坑了
Well, I don't think you want to be here.
妈还是不和老爹说话
Moms is still not talking to Pops,
而老爹怪我出♥卖♥♥♥他
and he's blaming me for ratting him out.
那样的话
Okay, well, in that case,
我就内♥裤♥反穿好了
I'm just gonna turn these inside out.
瞧瞧
Well, well, well.
这不是动感二人组
If it ain't the dynamic duo:
洗衣小子和告密者吗
Laundry Boy and the Snitch.
我有工作
You know, I got a job.
我可以直接买♥♥新内♥裤♥
I could just buy some new underwear.
马蒂
Hey, Marty.
妈妈正要叠衣服呢
Mommy was just about to fold your laundry.
拿着 这是你的
Oh, yeah, and here's yours.
谢谢
Thanks. Okay.
好了 好了 缇娜
All right. All right, Tina.
宝贝 没跟你说实话 我已经道歉了
Babe, I already apologized for not being straight with you.
你还想怎样
I mean, what else do you want?
我想你为骗了戴夫而向他道歉
I want you to apologize to Dave for lying to him.
但那只是一个小小的白色谎言
But it was one little white lie.
向一个小小的白人
Yeah, to one little white guy.
再说 我不欠他一个道歉
Besides, I don't owe him an apology.
我只是想修我的卡车
All I wanted to do was work on my truck
过我的日子
and live my life.
但他就是不肯放弃
But he wouldn't let it go.
爸 你说得对
Oh, yeah, Pops, you're right.
你才是真正的受害者
You the real victim here.
-听见没 -我那是讽刺
- See? - I was being sarcastic.
我知道 但起效了 对吧
I know, but it was working, right?
我知道戴夫有些夸张
Listen, I know Dave can be a little extra,
但他是我们的邻居 而你没那么小器
but he's our neighbor, and you are a better man than that.
-他是吗 -不是吧
- Is he? - Not really.
他是
Yes, he is.
是谁为我们的圣诞场景重现做了马槽
Who built the manger for our Christmas pageant?
是谁免费帮金老太修好了变速器
Who fixed Old Mrs. Kim's transmission for free?
是谁组织了筹款活动
And who held a fundraiser
来修理公园里所有的篮球场
to fix all the basketball courts in the park?
想得美 缇娜
Okay. Nice try, Tina.
我知道你在做什么
See, I see what you're doing right here.
你想让我觉得自己这么好 还这样
You're doing that thing where you try to make me feel bad
而感到愧疚
for being such a good person.
-起效了 不是吗 -还真是
- It's working, isn't it? - Damn right it is.
杰玛
Hey, Gemma.
卡尔文
Hey, Calvin.
戴夫在吗
Is Dave here?
稍等 我看看
Hold on, let me check.
他说他不在
He says he's not here.
戴夫 别这样 兄弟
Dave, come on, man.
卡尔文
Calvin.
我不应该那样对你 所以
Look, I shouldn't have done you wrong like that, so
我把真钥匙给你拿来了
I brought you a real key.
不 我不想要了
No, I don't want it anymore.
拜托 兄弟 收下钥匙
Come on, man, take the key.
我说了不要
I told you I don't want it.
哥们 拿着
Come on, man, take the key.
-不要 -戴夫 拿着
- No. - Dave, take it.
-不要 谢谢 -管他呢
- No, thank you. - You know what?
你想跑过我吗 卡尔文
You really trying to outrun me, Calvin?
我没热身 算你走运
You're lucky I didn't stretch.
我发现
Okay, look, I realize now
我给你钥匙的动机不纯
that I gave you this key for the wrong reason.
我想逼你成为我朋友
I was trying to force you to be my friend.
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