东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S01E03

Part 1 Nov. 27, 2019, 2:14 p.m.

我猜猜你要么在躲咱邻居戴夫
Let me guess, you're either hiding from our neighbor Dave,
要么是耶♥和♥华♥见证会回来了
or the Jehovah's Witnesses are back.
我就是想去拿报纸
Look, I just want to get my newspaper,
但我每次去外面
but every time I go outside,
他就跟辆普锐斯一样偷摸跑我身边来
the guy just sneaks up on me all quiet like a Prius.
有一天
You know, the other day,
他堵住我聊密歇根
he cornered me talking about Michigan.
我听他给北美五大湖排名次听了半小时
I spent 30 minutes listening to him rank the Great Lakes.
他也这么对过我
Yup, he did the same thing to me,
而且讽刺的是第一名竟然不是苏必利尔湖
and, ironically, Lake Superior not number one.
我们这是什么居住环境
What kind of world do we live in
不跟邻居打招呼
where a man can't go outside his own home
都不能出自己家门了
without having to say hello to his neighbor?
你在干吗
What are you doing?
他在躲戴夫
He's hiding from Dave.
为什么他吓人的只有
Why? The only thing scary about him
身上那条小短裤
are the tiny shorts he jogs in.
谁说不是
Tell me about it.
上一次我见到那么多白肉
The last time I saw that much white meat
是放桶里过油炸的
it was fried and in a bucket.
我知道他跟这里大多数人不一样
Well, I know he's not like most folks around here,
但我觉得戴夫挺酷的
but I think Dave is kind of cool.
反正我觉得自从他们搬来之后
All I know is, since they moved into this neighborhood,
我就像被软禁在家了
I feel like I'm on house arrest.
不能让对戴夫的恐惧囚禁了你爸
Well, I say don't you let fear of Dave imprison you, Pop.
挣脱压♥迫♥你的锁链
Throw off the chains of your oppressor
去拿报纸兄弟
and go get that newspaper, my brother!
把你浴袍系紧了再去拿报纸
But before you do, close your robe.
我都能看见小♥弟♥弟♥了
I can see your chicken nuggets.
爸你干吗呢
Dad, what are you doing?
我在看卡尔文在不在外边我要给他点东西
I'm seeing if Calvin's outside. I want to give him something.
我是说你的短裤
I was talking about your shorts.
在加州大家都这么穿
Well, this is what people wear in California.
这样你跑步时才不会太热
It's so you don't overheat when you're running.
聪明如果我穿着去学校
That's smart, 'cause if I wore those to school
肯定会有人追我的
I'd definitely get chased.
对所有女生都会追你
Yeah, by all the ladies.
准备好上学了吗葛罗弗
Ready for school, Grover?
看这性感大长腿
Look at those sexy legs.
告诉你了
Told you.
你怎么还在家
Why are you still here?
我以为你跑步去了
I thought you were going for a run.
我要去的我想在外面堵到卡尔文
Oh, I'm about to. I was hoping to catch Calvin outside.
给他一把咱家钥匙
I want to give him a key to our house.
是吗
Really?
你不觉得为时尚早吗
Don't you think it's a little too soon for that?
不会他是咱们邻居
Uh, well, no, he's our neighbor.
我们在密歇根时都给邻居钥匙
We gave all our neighbors keys back in Michigan.
奶奶说密歇根人好
Grammy says people in Michigan are good,
这里则不然这里都是罪犯和好莱坞精英
not like here where they're all criminals and Hollywood elites.
奶奶什么时候说的
When did Grammy say that?
就刚才我们发信息呢
Just now. We're texting.
卡尔文出来了
Guys, there's Calvin.
宝贝一天顺利再见
Buddy, have a great day. Bye.
妈你觉得爸爸的短裤怎么样
Mom, what do you think of Dad's shorts?
说实话我以为是你的呢
Honestly, I thought they were yours.
卡尔文
Hey, Calvin!
戴夫
Hey, Dave.
遇到你很高兴
Hey, I'm glad I ran into you.
我有东西给你
I want to give you something.
是吗还够布料做口袋呢
Really? There's enough fabric in those for pockets?
给你
Here you go.
这是什么
What's that?
是我家的钥匙我要你收下
Well, it's a key to our house. I want you to have it.
现在宣布我们为邻居
I now pronounce us neighbors.
不用了老兄
Nah, I'm good, man.
什么叫不用了
Wh-What do you mean you're good?
我不需要你家的钥匙
I don't need a key to your house.
万一有什么紧急情况呢
What if there's an emergency,
或是你想借什么东西而我们不在家
or you want to borrow something and we're not home,
或是我生日
or it's my birthday
然后你想给我开个惊喜生日派对
and you want to throw me a surprise birthday party.
我不会给你开惊喜派对的
I'm not throwing you a surprise party.
给我开惊喜派对的人都这么说
Exactly what someone throwing me a surprise party would say.
戴夫我不知道你家乡是什么情况
Look, Dave, I don't know what it's like where you're from...
可美了
Oh, it is beautiful.
树木绵延好几英里
I mean, the trees, they go on for miles.
我说的不是这个
Okay, look, that's-that's not what I'm talking about.
在这里我们不会刚认识就给对方家里钥匙
Around here, we don't give out keys to people we just met.
为什么
Well, how come?
简单人们很差劲
Simple, people are terrible.
不才不是人们都很好
No, they're not, people are great.
你应该试着疑中留情
You should try giving them the benefit of the doubt.
嗯我每天都怀疑他们
I do. I doubt them every day.
就收下钥匙吧好吗
Okay, look, just take the key, okay?
如果我收下钥匙能让我安静看报吗
O-Okay, if I take this key, can I go read my paper in peace?
当然了
Absolutely.
那好
Oh, fine.
回来再说再见
All right, talk to you later. See you.
还有一件事
Oh, and just one more thing,
戴夫我们说好了
Dave, we had a deal.
我就是想知道
I was just wondering,
你有没有什么东西想给我
is there anything maybe that you want to give to me?
给你个建议
Yes, some advice.
别再穿这条热裤在邻里之间跑来跑去了
Stop jogging through the neighborhood in your hot pants.
东邻西舍
第一季第三集
我以为你们去公园了
I thought you guys were going to the park.
外面有点热
It's kind of hot out,
所以我们觉得还是待在屋里好了
so we thought we'd just hang out here instead.
爸爸说他不想出去
Dad says he doesn't want to go outside
是因为卡尔文先生没给他钥匙
because Mr. Calvin didn't give him a key.
葛罗弗这是父子之间的秘密
Grover, it's called father/son confidentiality.
你还在纠结钥匙的事情吗
Are you still hung up on this key thing?
现在很尴尬
It's awkward now.
就像你觉得某个人在跟你挥手
Like when you wave to someone
你也跟他挥手
who you thought was waving to you,
但是他并没对你挥手
but they weren't.
我跟你说了不要对每个人都挥手
I told you to stop waving at everyone.
我就喜欢挥手杰玛
I'm a waver, Gemma.
这是我的习惯
It's what I do.
你也知道我喜欢你的热情
You know I love how enthusiastic you are,
但有时候有点过头
but sometimes it can get a little out of hand.
举个例子
Name one time.
在第三次约会的时候你向我求婚了
You proposed to me on our third date.
那是因为
Yeah. That is because...
我们刚滚完床单
we had just had sex.
我只是说有时候你准备好了
I'm just saying sometimes you're ready for things
别人并没有准备好
before other people are.
对卡尔文来说可能需要些时间
It might take a while for Calvin.
但是已经一个月了我俩一个月的时候
Yeah, but it's been a month, and by that time...
都滚过好多次床单了
we had had a bunch of sex.
宝贝我带你出去
Come on, baby, I'll take you,
你要是想和卡尔文混熟点
and if you want to connect to Calvin,
或许应该找找你们的共同爱好
maybe you should try finding something you guys have in common.
我试试但这个家伙都没有最喜欢的湖
I'll try, but this guy doesn't even have a favorite lake.
-大伙还好吧 -宝贝
- What up! What up! - Oh, hey, baby.
你又把要洗的衣服拿过来了
Well, I see you brought your laundry again.
是啊有颜色的几件白的
That's right, colors and a few whites,
自从强森一家搬来后这个街区也是这样的
just like this neighborhood since the Johnsons moved in.
把衣服给我吧
Well, here, let me take those for you.