东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S01E20

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 2:15 p.m.

You see, existence is a complex thing...
缇娜阿姨你知道吗
Do you know, Miss Tina?
我当然知道了
Well, of course I do.
你要是好人的话就会去一个很棒的地方
If you're good, you go to this glorious place
在天上叫作天堂里面有很多天使
in the sky called Heaven, filled with angels
还有好多玩具和吃不完的糖
and toys and all the candy you can eat.
酷
Cool.
妈妈你看这多简单
See, Mom? Simple.
其实我并不想这样跟他讲
Well, that wasn't exactly the answer I was gonna give.
我懂但是我还得准备悼念席啊
I know, girl, but I got a repass to plan.
要真解释起来一天都讲不完
We would have been here all day.
我都没想过这个事情会
I didn't even think about all the questions
让葛罗弗产生这么多疑问
this was gonna raise for Grover.
那你为什么不告诉他你的想法
Well, why don't you just tell him what you think?
我爸妈就是这样做的
Because that's exactly what my parents did to me.
他们告诉我该相信什么
They told me what to believe.
我倒是希望葛罗弗能自己去想明白
I-I'd rather have Grover figure it out for himself.
我尊重你的方式
I respect that.
这样虽然对上帝不敬但我尊重你的方式
I mean, it's blasphemous, but I respect it.
这是什么
And what's this?
看来有人想提前收生日礼物了
Looks like somebody wants an early birthday present.
宝贝
Hey, babe.
我给悼念席准备了吃的
Got the food for the repass.
卡尔文我跟你说了要能用手拿的食物
Calvin, what is this? I told you to get finger foods.
是啊
Oh, I did.
你可以用手吃这些过期的百吉饼
You can eat these day-old bagels with your fingers.
他又在小家子气了因为79年夏天
Oh, he's just being cheap because Mean Mr. Benson never paid him
刻薄班森先生没有付他修剪草坪的钱
for mowing the lawn in the summer of '79.
请问
Oh, I'm sorry.
让黑色幽灵哭泣的事情
Is there a statute of limitations
还有诉讼时效吗
on making a black ghost cry?
卡尔文你不觉得你有点无理取闹吗
Calvin, don't you think you're being a little ridiculous?
算了吧
Just let it go.
说这个话的女人可是在超♥市♥的快速通道
This from the lady who had to switch
拿了超过12件商品去结账然后被赶出来
grocery stores for being called out
最后不得不换超♥市♥的人啊
for having more than 12 items in the express lane.
他们要是把口香糖也当商品的话
If they're gonna count gum as an item,
就不应该放在收银处
it shouldn't be at the register.
原来我一半的童年纪念
Turns out half my childhood
都在班森先生的院子里
was in Mean Mr. Benson's backyard.
看这个
Oh, lookee here.
-是马蒂的士兵小玩偶 -别这样
- It's Marty's little army doll. - Hey, man.
他当了15年战俘啊
He was a prisoner of war for 15 years.
欢迎回家士兵
Welcome home, soldier.
时过境迁啊
So much has changed.
你说什么
Oh, what's that?
没有马尔科姆还住这呢
Oh, no, Malcolm still lives here.
妈妈按♥摩♥院是什么地方
Mom, what's a massage parlor?
什么什么
What? What--
你为什么会问这个
Why would you ask that?
我在谷歌♥地图上搜"天堂"
I'm looking for Heaven on Google Maps
地图告诉我是韩国城的按♥摩♥院
and it says it's a massage parlor in Koreatown.
行了...
Oh, okay, I-I, uh...
今天玩平板电脑的时间够了
I think that's enough screen time for today.
我一直想和你说说
I've been meaning to talk to you about
缇娜阿姨说的天堂是怎么回事
what Miss Tina said about Heaven.
好
Okay.
其实每个人对"天堂"的看法
It's just that not everyone sees "heaven"
不一定都和缇娜阿姨一样
the same way Miss Tina does.
-不一样吗 -不一样
- They don't? - No.
比如有人相信
For example, some people believe
天堂在你心里
that heaven exists inside your heart.
还有人相信天堂在人世间
And others believe that heaven is here on Earth
而且我们的魂魄会回来投胎转世
and that our souls just keep coming back as a new being,
比如投胎成乌龟或者马
like a turtle or a horse.
太棒了我想投胎成屎壳郎
Cool. I want to come back as a dung beetle.
什么
What?
你为什么想投胎成那个东西
Why would you want that?
那是世界上最强壮的昆虫
It's the world's strongest insect.
能举起比自身重一千倍的东西
It can carry a thousand times its body weight.
对但举的是屎啊
Yes. Of dung.
是啊
I know!
爸爸我要变成一只屎壳郎
Hey, Dad, I'm gonna be a dung beetle.
太棒了世界上最强壮的昆虫
Oh, awesome, buddy. World's strongest insect.
宝贝
Hey, babe.
打听到什么有关班森先生的好事了吗
Did you have any luck finding out about Mr. Benson?
没有我挨家挨户在整个社区问了一圈
No. I went door-to-door through the entire neighborhood
打听到的唯一信息就是
and the only thing I heard about him
他是新奥尔良人
was that he was from New Orleans
邻居都希望他死在那里
and they wish he had died there.
天呐听起来就像菲利斯婶婶
Geez, he sounds like a real Aunt Phyllis.
我知道但是你
I know, but you--
找不到他的"大黄派"我是不会放弃的
I'm not giving up until I find his rhubarb pie.
你会找到的
And you will.
因为你总是能看到别人的优点
Because you can find the good in anybody.
谢谢你
Thank you.
但是你绝对不能再邀请
But you really got to stop inviting
耶♥和♥华♥见证人来吃晚饭了
the Jehovah's Witnesses to stay for dinner.
金小姐
Hey, Miss Kim.
之前我去你家敲门了你可能不在家
I knocked on your door earlier, but I guess you weren't home.
不我在家
Oh, no, I was there.
我看到你了大头戴夫
I saw you, Bobblehead Dave.
是这样我想知道
I, well, you know, I was just wondering
班森先生生前你对他有没有
if you had any positive memories about Mr. Benson
-正面的回忆 -没有
- from before he died. - No.
那个老混♥蛋♥
That old bastard.
缇娜这么多吃的花了我们多少钱
Tina, how much did we pay for all this food?
只花了保龄派对一半的钱
About a half a bowling party,
还不包括你们给自己买♥♥的那些奖杯
not including the trophies you bought yourselves.
我觉得这既浪费我们的金钱
Well, I think it's a waste of our money
又浪费我们的好客之情
and a waste of our hospitality.
还有为什么没人吃百吉饼
And why nobody eating these bagels?
美味极了
They're delicious.
要命金小姐来了挡住我
Oh, shoot, here comes Miss Kim. Hide me.
-太晚了 -不不不
- Too late. - No, no, no.
马蒂
Oh, Marty.
你真是秀色可餐啊
Aren't you looking like a whole snack?
您说的是马尔科姆吧
Don't you mean Malcolm?
马尔科姆年老色衰了
Malcolm got too old.
亲爱的弟弟千万别伤害她的感情
Well, little brother, do not break her heart.
或者她的髋骨
Or her hip.
马蒂我需要一个
Marty, you know, I need someone
能满足我的年轻人...
young to keep up with me and...
看来你最近在健身啊
you look like you've been working out.
最近我都在单位爬楼梯
Well, you know, I have been taking the stairs at work.
要跑出去跑
You want to run, go outside.
谁没关门啊
And who left my door open?
我可不想给整个社区制冷
I'm not trying to air condition the whole neighborhood.
你根本没开空调
You don't have the A/C on.
他们又不知道
Well, they don't know that.
小鬼快起来别坐我的椅子
Hey, little boy, come on, get out of my chair.
你没有工作
You don't have a job,
所以没资格瘫在躺椅上
you haven't earned the right to recline.
行吧刻薄巴特勒先生
Fine. Mean Mr. Butler.
你管我叫什么
W-What'd you call me?
他叫你刻薄巴特勒先生你个老混♥蛋♥
He called you Mean Mr. Butler, you old bastard.
伙计们我急需你们的帮助
Hey, guys, I really need your help.
都到最后了还是没有人
It's down to the wire and no one has said
说过班森先生的好话
a single nice thing about Mr. Benson.
你们有什么好素材吗
Do you have anything I can work with?
有一年夏天他雇了我们