东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S01E12

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 2:14 p.m.

我在回顾我赢了哪些项目
I'm just recapping my wins.
好吧这样的话
Okay, okay. Well, in that case, uh,
银行账户信用记录人生
bank account, credit score, uh, life.
你说的很有道理
Those are all very good points.
-但是跟现在扯不上半点关系 -是的
- Don't none of them matter right now, do they? - No!
太棒了又是数学谜题
Great, another math puzzle.
葛罗弗快谢谢缇娜阿姨
Grover, thank Miss Tina.
谢谢缇娜阿姨
Thanks, Miss Tina.
你妈♥逼♥我挑这个的
Your mother made me get it.
好像礼物都拆完了
Well, okay, it looks like we opened up all the gifts.
还没有
Not yet.
还有一个
There's one more?
拿好了我的朋友
There you go. My man.
太酷了
Cool!
一把刀
A knife.
一把刀
A knife?
一把刀
A knife.
是啊一把刀举到面前
Yeah, a knife. Here, hold that next to your face
我来拍张照
so I can take a picture.
天哪
Oh, my God.
记得呼我哦
Holler at your boy!
-能让我摸一下吗 -好啊
- Can I touch it? - Yeah.
但你的礼物是单词卡你排最后
But you got me the flash cards, so you're last.
卡尔文你是怎么回事给葛罗弗一把刀
Calvin, what is the matter with you, getting Grover a knife?
店里的射钉枪卖♥♥光了吗
What, were they all out of nail guns?
能不能表扬一下我缇娜
Give me some credit, Tina.
射钉枪的后坐力
The kickback on one of those things
会让他一屁♥股♥坐在地上
would knock that boy off his feet.
好了各位让开
Okay, you know what? Everyone, back away.
轮到我摸了
It's my turn to touch it.
我们现在把礼物收起来
Yep. All right, why don't we put away all the lovely gifts,
还有这把刀
and the knife,
回去跟马尔科姆和马蒂玩游戏吧
and, uh, get back to the fun games with Malcolm and Marty?
但是大家都想玩刀
But everyone wants to play with it.
我知道所以才要收起来
I know, that's why it's going away.
伙计们你们能不能把孩子们带出去
Guys, could you take all the kids outside?
孩子们我们走吧
All right, kids, let's go. All right, let's go.
-我们走吧 -我们走
- Let's go. - Let's go.
戴夫来厨房♥ 马上
Dave, kitchen, now.
戴夫麻烦来了
Dave, trouble, in.
卡尔文纸杯蛋糕去找吧
Calvin, cupcake, find.
卡尔文怎么能送孩子一把刀
How could Calvin give our son a knife
还不提前跟我们说
without talking to us first?
我知道他应该是觉得
I know. He probably knew
这礼物这么酷我守不住秘密吧
that I couldn't keep something that cool a secret.
为什么你不生气他送咱儿子一件武器啊
How are you not more upset about this? He gave our son a weapon.
这不是武器只是把小折刀
It's not a weapon, it's-it's a pocketknife.
是手持杀戮装置
It's a handheld stabbing machine.
要是叫那个名字就卖♥♥不出去了
Yeah, but if they call it that, they're not gonna sell any.
听我说
Okay, look,
我知道你只是希望葛罗弗安全
I know you just want Grover to be safe.
我也是但也没有那么可怕
So do I, but, you know, it's not that big a deal.
我像他这么大时有一把BB枪
When I was his age, I had a BB gun.
那是你朋友用那把枪射你
Yeah, and you still have a BB in your arm
现在你胳膊里还有颗BB弹呢
from when your friend shot you with it.
现在已经没了
Actually, it's not there anymore.
它消失了一年
It just, it disappeared for a year,
然后又出现在我腿上
and then it resurfaced in my leg.
这个等会再说
We'll talk about this later.
现在这个要和你的软呢帽和激光笔
Right now, this is going in the same drawer
待在一个抽屉了
as your fedora and your laser pointer.
什么你不是说我的激光笔被偷了吗
What-- you said that my laser pointer was stolen.
能把刀还给我吗
Can I have the knife back?
没这把刀其他小孩都不理我
The other kids are ignoring me without it.
亲爱的他们不是不理你
Oh, honey, they're not ignoring you.
对他们可能只是觉得刀没了
Yeah, they probably think the party is just less fun
这个派对变无聊了
now that the knife is gone.
杰玛我知道你觉得这把刀很危险
Gemma, I-I know you think it's dangerous,
但其实它挺酷的
but the knife is actually pretty cool.
你不是正希望葛罗弗的派对能办得酷一点吗
And isn't that exactly what you wanted for Grover's party?
-话是这样说但是 -好了
- Well, yeah, but... - Okay. Well, then,
要不这样我把刀拿出去
how about this: how about I'll take the knife outside,
给孩子们看一看
and I will show it to the kids?
它会一直在我手里我保证
I will hold it the whole time, I promise.
要不这样我甚至都不打开它
In fact, you know what? I won't even open it.
求你了妈妈这是我的生日
Please, Mom? It's my birthday.
好吧
Fine.
太好了
Yeah!
我的激光笔呢
And, uh, my laser pointer?
已经升♥天♥了
It's in heaven now.
加油马蒂队
Come on, Team Marty!
重要的不是游戏和乐趣了
This isn't about fun and games anymore.
那为什么我们还要玩
Then why are we doing it?
这样马蒂今晚就不用哭着睡着了
So Marty doesn't cry himself to sleep tonight.
我现在已经不这样了
I don't do that anymore.
别笑你是我队里的
Stop laughing! You're on my team.
眼泪就要夺眶而出了
Here come the waterworks.
我们拿到那把刀了
We got the knife!
现在就剩我们俩了
And then there were two.
看得出你努力学数学了
Oh, I see you've been working on your math.
看得出你没有努力锻炼胳膊
I see you haven't been working on your arms.
好吧就这样吗
Okay, so it's like that?
-对 -我可以坚持一整天
- Yeah. - Yeah, well, I could do this all day.
我周一才去上班
I don't have to go to work until Monday.
是吗傻了吧你我不上班
Oh, yeah? Joke's on you. I don't have a job.
听好
Now,
我知道你们大多数觉得
I know most of you think that the blade
刀最酷的地方是刀锋
is the coolest part of the knife,
但你们有没有留意过
but have you ever stopped to take a look
刀架看看这个
at the bolster? Take a look at that.
戴夫
Dave?
你在干什么呢
What the heck are you doing?
在你手上刀都能变无聊
Leave it up to you to make a knife boring.
打开
Open it up.
不行我答应了杰玛
I can't. I promised Gemma.
戴夫行了
Dave, come on.
这些孩子渴望着好玩的东西
These kids are starving for something fun.
我妈妈说好玩的东西很危险
My mom says fun is dangerous.
你妈妈还觉得单词卡很适合当做礼物呢
Well, your mom thinks flash cards are a great gift.
谁想来点好玩的东西
Now, who wants to have fun?
好吧
O-Okay, all right.
好吧我把刀打开
Okay, fine, I will open it.
但我只是为了教你们怎么安全地使用刀具
But only so I can teach you guys proper knife safety.
我当过鹰级童子军所以算是个用刀专家
I'm kind of an expert since I was an Eagle Scout.
那是什么
What's that?
什么是鹰级童子军
What's an Eagle Scout?
再上一级就是海军海豹突击队了
Well, it's like one step below a Navy SEAL.
戴夫你再上一级连海豹都算不上
Dave, you're barely one step above a real seal.
当你手中拿着一把刀时
Now, there are a few things
应该永远记得这几点
that you should always do when handling a knife.
永远要确保
You should always make sure
一臂之内没有别人
that there is no one within arm's reach.
你还要永远确保
And you should always make sure
刀刃的方向远离自己像这样
that you are cutting away from yourself, like so.
好了
Okay, all right.
这都是些无聊的建议告诉你应该怎么做
Okay, those are a few of the boring things you should always do.
下面我让你们见识一些很酷的事
Now let me show you a few cool things
但你们永远都不应该做
that you should never do.
-到这来孩子们 -用刀做的事
- Kids, kids. - All right? With a knife.
永远不要
All right? Never...