东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S01E12

Part 3 Nov. 27, 2019, 2:14 p.m.

像这样拿着刀
hold a knife like this.
除非僵尸大爆发
Unless there's a zombie apocalypse,
你只能尽力保护自己了
and you got to do what you got to do.
看这里僵尸僵尸僵尸僵尸
Look here. Zombie! Zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie!
卡尔文卡尔文行了
Calvin! Cal-Calvin, that's enough.
永远不要两只手接来接去
Never go hand to hand.
可别这么做
Don't want to do that.
除非两边都有僵尸
Unless there are zombies on both sides.
左边的僵尸死了
Left zombie dead!
右边的僵尸死了
Right zombie dead!
好了卡尔文可以了我们
Okay, Calvin, that's good. We...
听好孩子们永远永远永远不要
Lis-Listen, kids, and never, ever, ever, ever
握着刀刃
hold a knife by the blade...
除非你要用刀扔僵尸之王
unless... you're gonna throw it at the king zombie.
卡尔文这
Calvin! That...
太帅了
...was awesome!
杰玛我为卡尔文道歉
Gemma, I'm so sorry about Calvin.
他不该不先征求你们的同意
He should never have given Grover that knife
就给葛罗弗那把刀
without asking you guys first.
有意思我本来打算在
Funny, that's exactly what I was gonna write
感谢卡上这样写的
on the thank-you card.
男孩为什么那么喜欢危险的东西
What is it with boys and dangerous things?
有很多针对这一课题的科学研究
You know, scientific studies have been done on this very subject,
而它们的结论总是惊人地相似
and they always come back with the same conclusion:
男人真幼稚
boys are stupid.
也许圣诞节我应该直接给葛罗弗
Maybe for Christmas, I should just get Grover
这盒火柴和一罐打火机油
this box of matches and a can of lighter fluid.
拜托他才不需要这些
Oh, please. He doesn't need those.
马蒂曾经用放大镜点过火
Marty used to start fires with his magnifying glass.
真的吗
Really?
你知道那是我们的第三个车♥库♥了吗
You know that's our third garage out back?
我想说的是
Look, my point is,
不管你怎么做男孩总会
no matter what you do, boys will always
想办法把一切变成危险品
find a way to make everything dangerous.
那他们什么时候才会长大懂事呢
Well, when do they finally grow out of it?
那天卡尔文买♥♥了双节棍所以永远不会
Well, Calvin bought nunchucks the other day, so, never.
太好了也就是说我这辈子
Great. That means I'm gonna be worried
都要忧心忡忡了
for the rest of my life.
如果能让你好受些
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
他们创意百出
they keep it interesting.
知道吗马尔科姆有次把叉子插到灯座里
You know, Malcolm once stuck a fork in a light socket.
后来呢
What happened?
我们换了个保险丝盒
We had to get a new fuse box.
-你是问马尔科姆 -对啊
- Oh, you mean to Malcolm. - Yeah.
等眉毛长回来他就没事了
He was fine once his eyebrows grew back.
杰玛
Look, Gemma,
如果你想的话我就让卡尔文
if you want, I'll make sure that Calvin takes
现在就把刀收回来
that knife back right now.
没事的戴夫说他保证
It's okay. Dave promised
他们会小心的
they'd be careful with it.
刀戳指缝就是这么玩的
And that's how you play pin-finger.
绝对绝对不要这么做
Which you should never, ever do
除非你是海盗
unless you're a pirate.
或者我
Or me.
我知道你在想什么
I know what you're thinking.
你根本不知道我在想什么
You have no idea what I'm thinking.
"运用原力马蒂"
"Use the force, Marty."
滚出我的脑袋巫师
Get out of my head, wizard!
不
Oh, no.
我住在你的脑袋里
I live in your head.
为啥爸妈终于开始收你房♥租了吗
Oh, why-- did Mom and Dad finally start charging you rent?
我就知道你会这么说
I knew you would say that.
-你不知道别闹 -你不知道别闹
- No, you didn't. Stop it! - No, you didn't. Stop it!
-我没开玩笑 -我没开玩笑
- I'm not playin'! - I'm not playin'!
-我没开玩笑 -我没开玩笑
- I'm not playin'! - I'm not playin'!
再耍一个把戏
Do another trick!
我给你看一个把戏把刀给我
All right, I'll show you a trick. Give me the knife.
真的吗海豹小子
Really, seal boy?
你要干嘛顶在鼻子上保持平衡吗
What are you gonna do-- balance it on your nose?
别告诉你妈妈
Okay, now, don't tell your mom,
但我以前曾用
but this is a little trick
这个小把戏惊艳了整个童军营
I used to wow 'em with back in scout camp.
这也许能唬住童军营
It might be good for scout camp,
但现实生活中僵尸来袭了你要怎么办
but what are you gonna do in real life when zombies attack?
想看我扔得更高吗
Want to see me throw it higher?
想
Yeah!
你♥爸♥爸好酷葛罗弗
Your dad's cool, Grover.
这你就觉得酷[凉]了
Oh, you think that was cool?
那你最好把大衣穿上
You better put on your parka,
因为马上就要寒风刺骨了
because it's about to get downright freezing.
让开点
Give me some room.
预备
Ready?
♪生日快...♪
♪Happy birth...♪
直接插♥进♥鞋里
Right through the shoe.
天啊你还好吗
Oh, my God, are you okay?
-杰玛拿车钥匙 -好的好的
- Gemma, get the car keys! - Okay, okay.
快拿车钥匙
Get the car keys now.
各位我
Guys, I...
希望这对你们来说是宝贵的一课
hope that is a valuable lesson to all of you
并且你们不会告诉家长
that you won't tell your parents.
那个
So...
派对真开心
fun party.
对开心极了
Yeah, it was great.
有血有刀
There was blood, there was a knife.
就差犯罪现场的录像了
The only thing missing was the crime scene tape.
我明白
Okay, okay. Look, I get it.
你生气了
You're mad.
我就不该把刀给他
I never should have given him the knife.
这还用说他只有七岁
You think? He's only seven years old.
我说的是戴夫
Oh, I was talking about Dave.
我特别嘱咐了
Yeah... I specifically asked
别给葛罗弗任何武器
that nobody get Grover a weapon,
但你还是给了他一把刀
and you got him one anyway.
还有数学谜题
And a math puzzle.
你别管卡片上写了什么
No matter what the card says,
那是我们夫妻一起买♥♥的
that was from both of us.
杰玛
Look, Gemma.
我没有故意不尊重你的意思
Look, I didn't mean to disrespect you or anything like that.
我只是想到
I just remember
我爷爷送我第一把刀时的情景
when my grandfather gave me my first knife.
让我觉得
It made me...
自己是个男子汉虽然我当时只是孩子
feel like a man, even though I was a kid. And so
所以我也想让葛罗弗有同样的感觉
I wanted Grover to have that same feeling too.
但他还不是
But he's not a man.
他只是个小男孩
He's a little boy.
我并不天真
Look, I'm not naive.
我知道他无法永远待在我的羽翼之下
I know I can't keep him in a bubble forever.
但他是我的孩子我想尽可能地
But he's my baby, and I want to protect him
去保护他
for as long as I can.
知道吗你说得对
You know what? You're right.
或许我从没这样想过
I guess I just never looked at it like that.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
没关系
It's okay.
你的出发点是好的
Your heart was in the right place.
而且我不得不说
Besides, I have to admit,
刀这个礼物很受欢迎
the knife was a huge hit.
可能比疯子肖恩还受欢迎
Probably even bigger than Insane Shane would've been.
对了他的病房♥就在楼上
He's one floor up, by the way.
葛罗弗的确玩得挺开心
You know, Grover did seem like he had fun.
是啊
I know.