东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S01E07

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 2:14 p.m.

Well, how do you know?
因为电视上一直是这样的啊
'Cause I see it on TV all the time!
其实戴夫说得对
Actually, uh, Dave is right.
爸我刚查过了
Pop, I just looked it up.
看看人家戴夫
Look at your boy Dave.
他比卡尔文知道的还要多
He knows what he's talking about more than Calvin.
就算他知道又怎样
Look, so what, he knew that.
瞎松鼠有时候也能找到坚果呢
Even a blind squirrel sometimes finds a nut.
瞎松鼠是怎么找的
How would a blind squirrel find a nut?
大概是闻到的吧
Probably their sense of smell.
松鼠的嗅觉非常发达
It's highly-developed in squirrels.
你们为什么要听这个人的
Why are y'all even listening to this guy?
他才第一次来
He just walked in here.
但是他好像很聪明的样子
Yeah, but he seems smart.
戴夫我有个问题
Yo, Dave, I got a question.
全球变暖是种族歧视吗卡尔文说是的
Is global warming racist? Calvin says it is.
等下
Hold on.
我说的是全球变暖这个概念是种族歧视
I said the concept of global warming is racist.
你想想看
I mean, think about it.
非洲从来都是那么热却没人关心过
Africa been hot all this time, and nobody cared.
但是波士顿一热起来
But soon as it get hot in Boston,
突然就成全球变暖了
ha, all of a sudden, we got global warming.
你知道为什么吗
You know why?
因为他们担心的是汤姆·布拉迪[橄榄球明星]
It's because they're worried about Tom Brady.
我跟你说他们担心的是他
I'm telling you, they're worried about him.
我之前在国家广播电台听到过
Well, you know, I-I did hear on NPR the other day
受气候变化影响最严重的十个国家
that seven of the ten countries most affected
有七个都在撒哈拉以南非洲地区
by climate change are in sub-Saharan Africa.
然而全世界大部分污染都是富国造成的
And wealthier nations do cause most of the world's pollution.
确实是种族歧视
So it is racist!
我刚才说过了
I just said that.
但是戴夫说出来就像真的
Yeah, but when Dave says it, it sounds true, tho.
也许是因为我长得像瑞秋·麦道
Maybe that's because I look like Rachel Maddow.
你们真是让人难以置信
I can't believe y'all.
他在国家广播电台听过又怎样
He heard it on NPR? So what?
我听史蒂夫·哈维[著名脱口秀主持人]说过
I heard it on Steve Harvey.
戴夫史蒂夫·哈维的说法靠得住吗
Yo, Dave, is Steve Harvey a reliable source?
我只知道他的《家庭问答》节目很棒
All I know is he's killing it on the Family Feud!
就像戴夫在理发店也很棒一样对吧爸
Yeah. Just like Dave is killing it in the barbershop, right, Dad?
不对我说的对吗
No. Am I right?
调查显示
Survey says!
第一个在昆的理发店坚持自我的白人是谁
Who's the first white guy to hold his own in Que's barbershop?
我吗
Me?
回答正确回答正确
Good answer. Good answer.
-戴夫能征求下你的建议吗 -当然
- Hey, Dave, can I ask you for some advice? - Yeah, sure.
首先我的妹子凯莎很抓狂
Well, first off, my girl Keisha's trippin'.
-她为什么抓狂 -因为我们在闹矛盾
- Well, why is she trippin'? - Because we be beefin'.
-你们为什么闹矛盾 -因为她很抓狂
- Why do you think you're beefin'? - 'Cause she be trippin'!
特雷我告诉过你了
Listen, Trey, I told you,
-你要和凯莎... -嘘
- what you need to do with Keisha... - Shh.
我想听听他怎么说
I want to hear what he has to say.
你刚才嘘我了吗
Did you just shush me?!
嘘卡尔文听他说
Shh. Calvin, let the man talk.
等下你刚也嘘我了
Well, hold on. Did you just shush me?!
如果我女友抓狂
Well, since she seems to be the one that's trippin',
我会让她坐下来告诉她
I'd sit her down and let her know
她抓狂后跟我争吵
how it makes you feel when she trips,
我是什么感受
and subsequently beefs.
够了真是够了
That's it. That is it!
我才不要坐在这让你们
I'm not gonna sit here and let y'all shush me
听那个小子侃大山还嘘我
while y'all sit around and listen to that guy.
-但是爸爸你... -嘘
- But, Daddy, you... - Shh!
-但是卡尔文你... -嘘
- But, Calvin, what...? - Shh!
嘘嘘
Shh! Shh!
嘘
Shh...!
嘘
Shh!
你回来了
There you are.
我刚收到短♥信♥说你在理发店
I just got your text about being at the barbershop.
你一直在那吗
Have you been there this whole time?
杰玛你应该在场的
Gemma, you should have seen it.
太爽了中间
It was amazing. At one point,
店主请所有人喝酒抽烟
the owner brought out drinks and cigars for everyone.
大家开始赌博
People started gambling.
就像置身于泰坦尼克号♥的甲板下面一样
It was like being below deck on the Titanic.
真好不过为什么你的发型一点没变
That's great, but why does your hair look exactly the same?
我太开心了忘了剪头了
I was having so much fun, I forgot to get it cut.
我为你开心
Well, I'm happy for you.
我知道你一直很想念你的朋友们
I know you've been missing your friends.
可不是吗
Tell me about it.
搬到这来后
All I've had for a social life
我的社交对象只有你和葛罗弗
since we moved here has been you and Grover.
不过我很喜欢
Which I love.
没关系我能理解
It's okay. I get it.
男人需要跟男人待在一起
Men need other men to hang out with
释放一下你们愚蠢的雄性激素
so you can get out all your stupid testosterone.
又能和兄弟们一起待着感觉真好
Just felt good to hang out with guys again.
能问你个问题吗
Can I ask you a question?
你觉得我长得像瑞秋·麦道吗
Do I look like Rachel Maddow to you?
现在像了
You do now.
茶杯好早上好宝贝
Hey, Tea Cup. Morning, baby.
别跟我说"早上好宝贝" 卡尔文
Don't "morning, baby" me, Calvin.
我昨晚做了个梦
I had a dream last night
梦见一只狼獾在咬我的肩膀
that a wolverine was attacking my shoulder,
醒来发现是你的胡子
and when I woke up, it was your beard.
真的吗
Really?
我现在考虑留胡子宝贝
Man, I was thinking about keeping it, babe.
我看起来像年轻版的巴瑞·怀特[著名歌♥手]
You know, I... I look like a young Barry White.
来啊宝贝
Yeah, baby.
别介宝贝
No, baby.
你今天得回理发店去把胡子剃了
You need to go back to that shop today and get a shave.
我不想大家觉得我嫁给了
I don't want people thinking I'm married to
美国废奴运动领袖
弗雷德里克·道格拉斯
Frederick Douglass.
我才不回去呢缇娜
I'm not going back down in there, Tina.
他们嘘我
They shushed me.
就像我是小屁孩一样
Like I was some kind of kid.
爸事实上...
Well, you know, Pop, the rea...
嘘马尔科姆我在说话呢
Shh, Malcolm. I'm talking.
我去那家店30年了
I've been going to that shop for 30 years.
戴夫才进去一小时
I mean, Dave comes in there for one hour,
大家都不听我说开始听他说了
now everybody's started listening to him instead of me.
太不尊重人了
It was disrespectful.
我让你看看什么叫不尊重人
I'll show you something disrespectful.
什么
What's that?
什么鬼
What is that?
凯莎烧掉了特雷所有的衣服
Keisha burning all of Trey's clothes.
她在直播烧衣服
She's live-streaming it right now.
她抓狂
When she starts trippin',
就玩真格的不是吗
she sure means it, doesn't she?
不妙她等不急要透气了
Oh, damn, she couldn't wait to exhale.
特雷听戴夫的话就是这个下场
Well, that's what Trey gets for listening to Dave.
点赞
Like.
他为什么要听戴夫的
Well, what's he doing listening to Dave?
他不像你这么了解他
He doesn't know him like you do.
-可不是 -你可是卡尔文·巴特勒
- Right. - You are Calvin Butler.
没人比你更了解这个社区
Nobody knows this community better than you do.
我一直都是这么说的
That's what I keep saying.
所以你需要去那家店
Well, that's why you need to go to that shop
让大家记住你是谁
and remind people who you are.
太对了
You damn right.
我就应该这么做
That's exactly what I'm gonna do, too.