东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S01E21

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 2:15 p.m.

我能不能问你个问题
Can I ask you a question?
你觉得我有趣吗
Do you think I'm fun?
当然了为什么这么问
Of course. Why?
葛罗弗今天不愿意跟我一起玩
Well, Grover didn't want to hang out with me today
因为他说我只会做"无聊的妈妈的事"
because he says I only do "boring mom stuff."
不会又是给陶瓷天鹅上色吧
Not the ceramic swan painting again.
可你说过你很喜欢啊
You said you loved that.
那也是在迎合你
Again, another bone.
不用担心
Look, don't worry about it,
葛罗弗只是在经历"恋父阶段"
Grover's just going through a daddy phase.
这很正常
It's natural.
他和戴夫玩的都很暴♥力♥ 还把身上弄得很脏
All he and Dave do for fun are violent and dirty things,
多数都和虫子有关
mostly to worms.
别担心了他会变回来的
Don't worry about it, he'll come back around.
我家孩子都成人以后我又成头号♥人物了
Now that my boys are grown, I'm back to being number one.
-妈妈们好 -马蒂
- Sup, mamas? - Mmm, Marty,
你觉得我和你♥爸♥谁更酷
who's cooler, me or your dad?
这个问题是陷阱吗
Is this a trap?
当然不是我只想听你如实回答
Of course not, baby, I just want your honest opinion.
"酷"这个词有点主观
Oh, well, "cool" is kind of subjective...
不主观你妈就很酷
No, it's not! Cool is what your mother is.
好吧其实
Okay, uh, well, it-it-it's kind of like,
老爸有老爸的酷
Dad is cool in dad ways,
比如他修车或者教别人打牌的时候
like when he restores old cars or schools everybody at poker,
你也很酷老妈的酷比如
and-and you're cool, you're cool in-in mom ways, like,
比如你把我的三明治切成蝴蝶形
like when you cut my sandwiches into little butterflies.
欢迎加入"无聊老妈俱乐部"
Welcome to the boring mom club.
不行真不公平
Oh, hell no. No, that's not fair.
因为我们必须要有责任心
Just because we have to be the responsible ones,
所以老爸就比较酷吗
dads get to have all the fun?
你今天有什么打算
What were you gonna do today?
当然是陶瓷天鹅
Hello? Ceramic swans.
绝对不行
No, okay?
我们要让那些小伙子明白妈妈和爸爸一样有趣
We're gonna show those boys that moms can be just as fun as dads.
拿上钱包我们去购物
Get your purse, we're going shopping.
买♥♥什么
For what?
开战了混♥蛋♥
It's on, suckas!
我们要让你们后悔我们生了你们
We're gonna make you regret the day we gave birth to you.
我得承认戴夫你高尔夫打得不错
I got to admit, Dave, your golf game isn't half bad.
你刚才都让我有点紧张了
You had me on my toes there for a while.
是啊直到那只鹅袭击了我
Yeah, until that stupid goose attacked me.
简直太惨了你看
Oh, yeah, yeah, he got you good. Look,
你都躲到沙坑里去了
there you are hiding in the sand trap.
它又找上你了
And there he is finding you.
你其实可以帮我一下的
You know, I could've used some backup.
道上规矩戴夫
Oh, street rules, Dave.
它的兄弟不插手我也不插手
His boys stayed out of it, I stayed out of it.
这样吧
I'll tell you what,
我补偿你午餐我请客好吗
I'll make it up to you. Lunch is on me, all right?
也许他们菜单上有鸭子你可以报个仇
Uh, maybe they got duck on the menu, you can get some revenge.
听着不错我先去下厕所
Sounds good. I'm gonna go to the bathroom
把裤子里的沙子弄出来
and get this, uh, sand out of my pants.
你好两位
Hello there, um, table for two.
好的您需要等大概
Certainly. Uh, it's gonna be about a half an hour
三十到四十分钟可以吗
to 40 minutes. Is that all right?
好的我的名字是巴特勒
Okay, sure, um, name's Butler.
我把最后的五块零钱给管♥理♥员♥了
I gave my last five to the groundskeeper
让他放鹅咬我朋友
to sic a goose on my friend.
等有桌子了我就叫你
We'll call your name when your table's ready.
我让鹅咬了我朋友
I sicced a goose on my friend.
卫生间的服务员告诉我
So the bathroom attendant told me
现在是交♥配♥季节很显然
that it was mating season, so apparently
那只鹅对我很感兴趣
the goose was just really into me.
你订座了吗
Hey, did you put our name in?
订了他说要等差不多
Yeah, but he said it's gonna be, like,
三十到四十分钟
a half an hour to 40 minutes.
你应该去问问
You know what? You should ask.
为什么
Why?
因为你长的好看又迷人
Because of your charm and good looks.
是吗
Oh, really?
才不是戴夫因为你是白人
No, Dave, because you're white.
你真觉得这样会早点有座位吗
You really think that's gonna help us get a table faster?
有可能
Look, it might.
就像想要进夜♥总♥会♥一样
It's like when you're trying to go into a nightclub,
如果和美女一起去
you get to skip the line
就能不用排队
if you walk in with a beautiful lady.
因为我是白人所以我就成你的美女了
So, because I'm white, I'm your beautiful lady?
-鹅就是这么想的 -好吧
- The goose thought so. - Okay.
卡尔文我去问了也没用
Calvin, it's not gonna make any difference.
那好证明我错了
All right, well, prove me wrong.
乐意至极
Happily.
抱歉打扰有两人的桌子吗
Uh, yeah, excuse me, uh, can I get a table for two, please?
没问题但是要等
Of course, but it's gonna be about
大概三十到四十分钟可以吗
a half an hour to 40 minutes. Is that all right?
没问题我叫强森
Oh, it's great. Uh, the name's Johnson.
你错了
You were wrong.
三十到四十分钟和你一样
30 to 40 minutes, just the same as you.
试试也无妨啊
I mean, well, it was worth a try.
你很幸运我不是那种会说
Yeah, well, you're lucky I'm not the kind of guy to say,
"我早说过"的人因为...
"I told you so," because...
强森两人桌可以入座了
Johnson, party of two, your table's ready.
女士优先
Ladies first.
好位置戴夫谢谢你天生如此苍白
Great table, Dave. Thanks for being born so pale.
别说了好吗
Would you stop it?
你可以感谢我的友善我开朗的性格
Look, you can thank me for my kindness, my cheerful spirit,
或者我的招牌鳄梨酱但别谢这个
or my signature guacamole, but not this.
因为你知道这只是个失误对吧
Because you know this was a mistake, right?
不唯一的失误是我没有
No, the only mistake was not pulling
早点打出"戴夫牌"
my "Dave card" out sooner.
奖励积分太惊人了
I mean, the reward points are amazing.
炸鱼玉米卷
Fish tacos!
这件事背后肯定有
You know, I'm sure there's a perfectly logical
合乎逻辑的解释
explanation for this.
不好意思
Excuse me.
有什么问题吗
Yes? Is everything all right?
只是想简单问一下
Yeah, just a quick question, um,
我朋友比我先来等位
you know, my friend here put his name down before I did,
不知为何我却先入座了
and-and somehow I got a table first.
实在太抱歉了
I am so sorry.
我们今天应接不暇之前有人取消订位
We were totally swamped, uh, we had a cancellation,
而我刚刚和您说过话
you were the last person I had spoken to...
这件事没有借口
Look, there's no excuse.
请让我为你们免单
Please, uh, let me comp your meal.
-谢谢你 -应该的
- Oh, thank you. - Of course.
听到了吗
You see that?
完全是无心之过
A completely innocent mix-up.
跟种族毫无关系
Race had nothing to do with it.
你怎么想都行戴夫
All right, think what you want to, Dave.
我只知道我的戴夫牌
All I know is my Dave card got me upgraded
让我从炸鱼玉米卷升级到龙虾了
from fish tacos to lobster.
酷
Whoa, cool!
我记得你说过我不能玩枪
I thought you said I couldn't play with guns.
但是后来你说我这人无趣
Well, that was before you said I wasn't fun.
而且这不是枪是软弹枪
Besides, these aren't guns, they're blasters.
不过别告诉你们老师
But don't tell your teachers.
好了怎么分队
All right, let's do this. What are the teams?
强森家对巴特勒家街区之战
Johnsons versus Butlers. Battle for the block!
真的吗杰玛你们俩对我们仨
Really, Gemma? You two versus us three?
一个小孩和他妈妈...
It's, like, a little kid and his mom...
开战了
Oh, it's on.