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但是我忙着上班呢
but, uh, I'm on the clock.
他是不是很专业
Look how professional he is.
是啊 上衣都扎到卡其裤里
Yeah, got his shirt all tucked in and his khakis.
你好 有销♥售♥员招呼你们吗
Hi there. Are you gentlemen being taken care of?
你开玩笑吗
Are you kidding?
这位是我见过的最厉害的销♥售♥员
This is the most impressive salesman I've ever met.
老实说
I mean, tell me the truth,
他得过多少次月度最佳员工奖
how many times has he been employee of the month?
其实 今天是他上班第一天
Uh, well, actually, this is his first day.
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?
你的销♥售♥员很不错啊
Well, you know, you have one heck of a salesman
这个...
here in, uh...
马尔科姆
Malcolm.
我猜 这两位是你的爸爸
Let me guess, these are your dads?
当然啦
Yup. They sure are.
不 我们不是 我是他爸
No, we are not. I'm his dad.
我是他邻居 但我们是好朋友
And I'm his neighbor, but we're best friends.
你们要是不介意的话
Okay, well, if you don't mind,
那边有位女士倒是真的想要
there's a lady over there who's actually interested
-买♥♥东西 -好的 去吧
- in buying something. - Oh, please.
那家伙竟然觉得我俩是一对 真是难以置信
Can you believe that guy actually thought we were a couple?
你去哪儿找像我这么好的
Please, you could do worse.
葛罗弗 我保证钢琴课
Okay, Grover, I guarantee you this piano lesson
会很好玩
is gonna be a lot more fun.
你怎么知道
How do you know?
因为我刚喝过茶了
Because I've already had my tea.
首先 第一步
Now, the first step
设想你面前有很多观众
is to visualize your audience.
我会想象
I like to imagine
我走在阿波罗剧院的舞台上
that I'm walking on stage at the Apollo Theater.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
你好
Hello.
-你在向谁挥手 -昆西·琼斯
- Who are you waving at? - Quincy Jones.
-他是谁 -我跟他约过会
- Who's that? - Just a guy I used to date.
好了 现在轮到你了
Okay, now-now, come on, show me
你会怎样在舞台上亮相
how you're gonna walk onto the stage.
妈妈
Hi, Mom.
别这样 葛罗弗 你就只会这个吗
Oh, come on, Grove, that's all you got?
听我说 想象这些人
Listen, these imaginary people
花了很多钱来看你表演
paid a lot of money to come see you.
现在好好露一手 加油
Now strut your stuff, man. Come on.
好的
Okay.
不错
That's good.
好 动起来
Okay. Get it.
好吧
Oh, okay.
够了 够了
All right, all right.
小巨星 你连专辑都还没出呢
Little rock star, you haven't dropped the album as of yet.
大多数老师会教你怎么演奏音乐
Now, most teachers teach you how to play music.
我要教你怎么感受音乐
I'm gonna teach you how to feel music.
告诉我你听完是什么感受
Tell me how this makes you feel.
害怕
Scared.
就像在家具店办分期一样
Like getting your credit ran at a furniture store.
那这个呢
Now how about this?
开心
Happy?
就像你的分期被批准了
Like getting your credit approved,
现在可以买♥♥水床了
now you can get that waterbed!
现在我能回去向粉丝挥手了吗
Can I just go back to waving at my fans now?
但你只有弹奏点什么
Yeah, but they're not gonna cheer you on
他们才会为你欢呼 宝贝
unless you play something, baby.
你说得对
You're right.
还好我家钢琴有个样曲按钮
Good thing our piano has this demo button.
老娘要再喝点茶 去去就回
Okay, mama's gonna need some more tea. I'll be back.
特雷弗 你找我吗
Hey, Trevor, you wanted to see me?
是的 请进
Yeah, come on in.
我刚才翻收据 你今天卖♥♥了四台电视
I was looking over the receipts, and you sold four TVs today?
我做得没错吧
Is that a good thing?
当然 四台电视不错
Yeah, yeah, four TVs is great.
好险 我以为我犯事了
Thank God. Man, I thought I was in trouble.
确实
Oh, you are.
这和我那两个爸爸有关吗
Does it have something to do with one of my two dads?
马尔科姆 卖♥♥掉四台电视固然是好事
Malcolm, it's great that you sold four TVs,
但卖♥♥周边服务才赚钱
but we make our real money on peripherals.
有线 延保 上门安装
You know, cables, warranties, home installations.
我跟顾客介绍了
Yeah, I offered that to all of my customers,
但没人感兴趣
but nobody was interested.
那你就要说服顾客他们需要这些
Then you have to convince people that they need them.
就像之前那位买♥♥电视的小老太太
Like that little old lady you sold to earlier.
如果你跟她说她需要延保
If you had told her she needed a warranty,
她会买♥♥的
she would've bought it.
她八十岁了 用不上十五年延保
She was 80 years old, man. She didn't need a 15-year warranty.
那你为什么没让她申请我们的店内信♥用♥卡♥
Then why didn't you sign her up for our in-store credit card?
18%的利率
With 18% interest?
正是 这就是我们的生钱之道
Exactly. See, that's how we really get them.
现在回去 给我做出点成绩来
Now go back out there and make me proud.
还有大力推销65寸哈马加奇斯电视
And push the 65-inch Hamagakis.
它们马上要因为爆♥炸♥风险被召回了
They're about to be recalled for exploding.
特雷弗 我觉得我接受不了
Trevor, I don't think I'm comfortable
给顾客推销他们不需要的
selling people stuff they don't need, man,
或是需要用上灭火器的东西
or that should come with a fire extinguisher.
知道了 我完全理解
Okay, got it. Totally understand.
-那就好 -你被解雇了
- Cool. - You're fired.
什么
What?
很明显是你个好人
Look, man, clearly you're a good guy.
要是我早知道这点 就不会雇你了
If I knew that, I wouldn't have hired you.
等等 先别冲动
Hold on, let's not be too hasty, all right.
我人品也没那么好 我可以更没底线
I am not such a good guy. I can do much worse.
我不信 我感觉你在骗我
Nah, man, not buying it. I feel like you're lying to me,
这是件好事 但太迟了
which is good, but too late.
好吧
All right, fine.
希望某台哈马加奇斯把你的脸炸开花
But I hope one of them Hamagakis blows up in your face.
这不是你的真心话
No, you don't.
该死 你说对了 不是的
Damn, you're right. I don't.
-恭喜 -恭喜
- Congratulations! - Congratulations!
你做到了
You did it!
很抱歉
Sorry about that.
或许我应该站远点扔的
Probably should've thrown that from farther away.
大伙
Uh, wow, guys.
你们不该搞得这么隆重
You shouldn't have.
真的不应该
You really shouldn't have.
我同意
Yeah, man. I agree.
今天只是你第一天上班 而我们中有人
It's just your first day. And some of us
已经就业好几年了
have been employed for years, you know,
还是位火箭科学家
as a rocket scientist.
你今天又卖♥♥掉一艘火箭吗
Have you ever sold anybody a rocket?
爸爸 我不是干这个的
Daddy, that's not how it works, man.
我们很为你高兴
We're just so happy for you.
干得好 马尔科姆
Yeah. Way to go, Malcolm.
谢谢你 小兄弟
Hey, thanks, little man.
儿子 你知道过去几年里
Son, you know I've been hard on you
我一直对你很苛刻 但是
these last couple years, but...
今天看到你去上班了
seeing you at work today,
我为你骄傲 儿子
I'm proud of you, son.
第一天上班感觉如何
So, how was your first day?
很...
It was, um...
难以置信
unbelievable.
没错了
Yeah, it was!
恭喜
All right!
快说 孩子 说说你今天的工作怎么样
Come on, son, we about to hear about your day.
就是 老爹 我...
Um, you know, Pop, I, um...
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