东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S01E14

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 2:14 p.m.

and choppity-chop something.
好的杰玛我们走吧
Okay, Gemma. Let's go.
不用等我们
Don't wait up.
好好享受你的烤面包机伙计
Well, enjoy that toaster, my man.
有人好像装新牙齿了
Looks like somebody got some new teeth.
你好沙妮丝
Hey, Shanice.
这个当婴儿摇篮很不错
You know what, this will make a great baby bassinet.
再加几根蹦极绳就可以当车座了
You add a few bungee cords, you got you a car seat.
里面放上三明治
Throw some sandwiches in there,
就可以去野餐了看看吧
you going to a picnic. Hmm Look.
卡尔文你这场庭院甩卖♥♥
Calvin, this is the best yard sale
是我见过最棒的
I have ever been to.
我见到好多厉害的人
I've met so many fantastic people.
你知不知道安妮塔原来是维和部队的
Did you know that Anita was in the Peace Corps?
多塞特教了五十年的书刚退休
Or that Mr. Dorsett just retired from teaching after 50 years?
还有杰曼
A-And Germaine
就是脸上有纹身的那个他说要是有人问起
with the face tattoo? He says if anybody asks,
就说他整天都在这里
that he has been here all day.
我也觉得在这里很愉快
You know, I've actually been having a pretty good time, myself.
我把二号♥桌上的东西卖♥♥完了
I sold everything on table two,
然后把二号♥桌子也卖♥♥了
and then I sold table two.
漂亮你有什么诀窍
Oh, man! Well, what's your secret?
看我的学着点
Watch and learn.
我跟你说
Hey, you know, just so you know,
这个烧烤架原来是图帕克的[黑人说唱歌♥手]
this grill used to belong to Tupac.
他的肋眼牛排做的真是棒啊
Yeah, he made a hell of a rib eye.
有一回他烧烤的时候
You know, one time he had a barbecue,
没有邀请声名狼藉先生[同为说唱歌♥手]
and he didn't invite Biggie, and...
后面的事情你也知道了
Well, you know the rest.
卡尔文你在做什么
Calvin, what're you doing?
你刚才是在骗那个人掏钱啊
You just lied to that guy for money.
是啊我会无缘无故撒谎么
Well, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't lie to him for no reason.
那就乱套了
That would be messed up.
马蒂
Uh, hey, Marty.
你为什么要戴墨镜啊兄弟
What is with the sunglasses, bro?
这是我学到的安保小技巧
It's a little security trick I picked up
没人知道我在看哪里
so nobody can see where I'm looking.
我现在看的那个家伙
Right now I got my eye on that guy over there
正在那边舔九伏的电池
licking the nine-volt batteries.
没关系的
You know, that's nothing.
一分钟前他还在舔缝纫机
A minute ago he was licking the sewing machine.
我最好去阻止他
Yeah, I better go shut that down.
伙计店铺规定舔了就得买♥♥
Hey, man! Store policy: you lick it, you buy it.
你还好吗辛普森女士
How you doing, Miss Simpson?
我还没入土是吧
Well, I'm still above ground, ait I?
这个陶瓷天使多少钱
Listen, how much y'all want for this porcelain angel?
这个天使背后有个很特别的故事
Well, you know, there's a very special story about this angel.
-当 -少废话
- When... - Cut the crap.
我出三块钱
I'll give you three dollars for it.
四块钱怎么样
How about four dollars?
两块钱怎么样
How about two dollars?
好吧两块
Okay. Fine, two dollars.
好一块钱给你
Okay. Here's a dollar.
你知道这是加拿大元吧
You know this is a Canadian dollar.
这个太棒了
Oh, this is awesome.
太好玩了我们还能切点什么
This is so much fun. What else can we choppity-chop?
我们切了水果切了蔬菜
Okay, we've done the fruits, we've done the vegetables.
等下这是什么
Oh, wait, what's this?
我把厨房♥海绵给切了
I chopped your kitchen sponge.
我明白一旦开始就很难收手了
I get it. Once you start, you can't stoppity-stop.
再试试别的小玩意
Let's try another gadget.
下一个是什么
What's next?
这得看你的心情了
Depends upon what you're in the mood for.
这里有煮鸡蛋剥壳器
Okay, we've got our hard-boiled egg sheller.
还有熊爪碎肉器
Or we have a bear claw meat shredder.
还有这个可以做出
And we have this thing that makes
总统造型的煎饼
pancakes in the shapes of presidents.
只有里根以前的
Oh, it only goes up to Reagan.
毕竟是80年代买♥♥的
Well, it was the '80s.
浇点枫糖浆
You just throw a little maple syrup on it,
奥巴马就做出来了
and boom! We got Obama.
老卡卡尔文
Cal! Calvin!
-你不会相信的 -怎么了
- You are not gonna believe this. - What?
我觉得你有一个小雕像看着很眼熟
I thought that one of your statuettes looked familiar,
于是我回家查了一下
so I went inside to go look it up
我的古董娃娃和小雕像手册
in my guide to antique dolls and figurines.
杰玛的古董娃娃和小雕像手册
Gemma's guide to antique dolls and figurines.
重点是
Look, the point is
这是真的蒙托佛作品
it is a genuine Montolfo
值一千五百块
worth $1,500.
一千五百块是吗
$1,500? Well, all right!
哪一个
Which one is it?
你看就在这这个陶瓷天使
Here you go, look. Right there. It's the porcelain angel.
陶瓷天使
The porcelain angel?
你说得对
You were right.
你的破烂比我的好多了
Your crap is way better than mine.
你把价值一千五百块的蒙托佛天使
You sold a $1,500 Montolfo angel
一块钱卖♥♥给别人了
for one dollar?
一加元
A Canadian dollar.
看见没戴夫这就是为什么
You see, Dave, this is exactly why
我不愿搞庭院甩卖♥♥的原因
I didn't want to do a yard sale.
我不想被占便宜
I didn't want to be hustled.
她没有占你便宜只是无心之过
She didn't hustle you. She made an honest mistake.
我敢肯定如果我们去找辛普森女士聊一聊
And I'm sure if we go talk to Miss Simpson,
她会把那个天使还给你的
she'll give the angel back to you.
你真的相信她会把一个价值一千五百块的东西
If you believe that she's gonna give me something back
还给我
worth $1,500,
我就把史努比·狗狗的加湿器卖♥♥给你
then I've got Snoop Dogg's humidifier to sell you.
黑人说唱歌♥手
不试怎么知道要不回来
Okay, well, you're never gonna get it if you don't try.
好吧走吧
Fine. Come on, man.
儿子
Hey, boys, look,
戴夫和我走开一下你们从保安
Dave and I are leaving, so I'm promoting you
晋升为销♥售♥
from security to sales.
卖♥♥东西得的钱一半归你们
You get to keep half of whatever you sell.
等等老爹可所有的好东西都卖♥♥完了
Wait, wait, wait, Pop. But all the good stuff is gone, man.
我知道所以你们可以拿一半
I know. That's why you're getting half.
马尔科姆
Malcolm!
恭喜你兄弟
Congratulations, brother.
恭喜我什么
Yeah, for what?
这是你第一次升职
Well, this is your first promotion.
真好笑
That's very funny.
我们应该把这些破烂直接扔了
You know, we should just throw all this crap away, man.
没人想买♥♥这些东西
Nobody gonna buy any of it.
六块钱给你我刚卖♥♥了一副坏了的手♥机♥
Here's six dollars. I just sold a broken cell phone.
什么等等
What? Wait, hey.
你怎么办到的
How'd you do that?
我假装戴着它和蝙蝠侠说话
I was just pretending to talk to Batman on it.
有个女士说我很可爱就买♥♥了
Some lady said I was cute and bought it.
等等等等就因为你可爱
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just because you were cute?
经常有人这么说我
I get that a lot.
不敢相信这些电视购物上买♥♥回来的小玩意
I can't believe it. All of these TV gadgets
-真的像电视上说的那样有用 -可不是吗
- actually worked the way they were supposed to. - I know.
卡尔文还给我脸色看
And Calvin was giving me a hard time.
这些东西配得上每笔十九块九毛九的分期付款
These things were worth every easy payment of $19.99.
不过等下还有
But wait, there's more!
这些厨房♥刀具能切三文鱼片
These kitchen knives can filet a salmon,
能切易拉罐甚至能切断手铐
slice a soda can and even cut through handcuffs.
要是情人节那天卡尔文把钥匙弄丢时
I wish I had known that on Valentine's Day
早知道能用这个就好了
when Calvin lost the key.
等下你闻到烟味了吗
Wait a minute. Do you smell smoke?