东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S01E20

Part 1 Nov. 27, 2019, 2:15 p.m.

卡尔文
Hey, Calvin.
跑得怎么样
Hey, how was your run?
很棒跑了五英里但我现在需要...
Oh, it was great; I did five miles but I could really use...
换双新鞋
...some new shoes.
不好意思
Oh, my bad.
我以为你想说需要凉快下
I thought you were gonna say "cool down."
你看到昨晚班森家门前
Hey, did you see the ambulance
停的救护车了吗
in front of Mr. Benson's last night?
看到了
Yeah.
知道出什么事了吗我得了解点情况
Any idea what happened? I want to get some intel
好更新咱们社区的脸书网主页
so I can update our neighborhood Facebook page.
咱们社区还有脸书网主页呢
We have a neighborhood Facebook page?
加了多少人
How many people are on it?
要是你通过我的好友申请就是两人
Well, as soon as you accept my friend request, two.
那你知道班森先生怎么了吗
So do you know what happened to Mr. Benson?
知道
Yeah.
死了
He dead.
什么卡尔文
Whoa, wha-what? Calvin.
太糟了
That-- that's terrible.
你要是认识他就不会这么说了
You wouldn't say that if you knew him.
我是说...
I mean...
邻居们喊他"刻薄班森先生"
there's a reason that people in this neighborhood
是有原因的
called him "Mean Mr. Benson."
我都不知道
I didn't know they called him that.
大概你也不知道
Yeah, probably like you don't know
大家喊你"大头戴夫"
they call you "Bobblehead Dave."
我知道我挺喜欢的
Oh, I know it and I love it.
班森先生怎么刻薄了
So what was so mean about Mr. Benson?
可说的太多了从我小时候起
Oh, everything. The man has terrorized
他就对整个邻里凶巴巴的
this neighborhood since I was a kid.
总是冲别人嚷嚷让人家割草
Always yelling at people to cut their grass
或者是把垃圾桶扶起来
or pull their trash cans up.
如果我的球或者飞盘掉进他家院子
And if ever I had a ball or a Frisbee go into his yard,
就有去无回了
never saw it again.
还真提醒我了
You know, that actually reminds me.
我有天无意之中
I accidentally threw our Frisbee
把飞盘扔进你家后院了
into your backyard the other day.
-绿色的 -对对
- Green one? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
没看见
Haven't seen it.
我说...
Well, you know--
班森先生不可能一无是处
I'm sure Mr. Benson wasn't all bad.
比如说我菲利斯婶婶
I mean, take my Aunt Phyllis.
没人喜欢她但只要你能接受
Nobody liked her, but once you got over the fact
她对宠物比对人好
that she treated her pets better than people
而且几乎瞧不上所有人
and pretty much despised all of humanity,
就会发现她做的大黄派最好吃了
she made the most delicious rhubarb pie.
班森先生太凶了
Well, Mr. Benson was so mean,
耶♥和♥华♥见证会的人都不敲他家门
not even the Jehovah's Witnesses would knock on his door.
耶♥和♥华♥见证会基♥督♥教新教边缘教派之一
耶♥和♥华♥见证人可是来者不拒
And they talk to anybody.
我知道他们最棒了
I know, aren't they the best?
不过他们总会说 "我们得走了戴夫"
But then they're always like, "We got to go now, Dave."
那你知道他的葬礼什么时候举♥行♥吗
So, do you know when they're having his funeral?
不知道他那么不合群
I don't know. He was such a loner.
估计不会有葬礼
There probably won't be one.
就算有也不会有人参加
And even if there was, no one would go.
这也太惨了卡尔文
Man, that's so sad, Calvin.
我们该做点什么纪念他
We should do something to remember him.
我们应该在社区脸书网主页上给他发讣告
We should put his death on the neighborhood Facebook page.
什么那你愿意接受我的好友申请了
What-- So you'll accept my friend request?
当然只要他也接受
Sure. Just as soon as he does.
东邻西舍
第一季第二十集
"取悦男人的十招"
"Ten Ways to Please Your Man."
我看看这周末有什么花样
All right, well, let's see what's on the menu for this weekend.
不错不错我不抵触这个
Okay, okay, I ain't mad at that.
我看到你了第七招
I see you, number seven.
不错
Okay.
第九招你可有点变♥态♥
Oh, number nine, you just a little ol' freak.
看看第十招是什么不要
Let's see what number ten is-- Oh, hell no.
不要
No, nuh-uh, oh.
不要
No, uh-uh.
-亲爱的 -卡尔文
- Hey, babe. - Oh, hey, Calvin.
这都是什么
What's all this?
我们去参加了教会会议
Well, we just came from the church meeting
讨论班森先生去世的事
about Mr. Benson passing.
鉴于他没有任何亲友
And since he didn't have any people,
-我提出在这摆悼念席 -什么
- I offered to throw the repass here. - What?
然后我发现悼念席类似
And then I discovered that a repass was kind of
葬礼后的聚会我们就迫不及待了
like a funeral after-party and we were off to the races.
等下缇娜
Uh, hold on, Tina.
我们不能给我讨厌的人摆悼念席
We're not hosting a repass for somebody I hated.
我都不给自己摆悼念席我最爱自己了
I wouldn't host one for myself and I love me.
我跟你一样不怎么喜欢他
Look, I didn't like him any more than you
但这是基♥督♥教♥徒♥该做的再说了
but it's the Christian thing to do and besides,
我违背自己意愿为你举办过很多聚会
I've thrown plenty of stuff for you that I didn't want to.
-比如什么 -比如那次
- Like what? - Like that end of the year banquet
为你们保龄球队举办的年终宴会
for your bowling team where you all just
你们只是全程坐在那儿抱怨被坑了
sat around and complained about being robbed.
保龄球道打蜡太多了缇娜
They overwaxed the lanes, Tina.
这次悼念席怎么看都像
You know, this repass has your name
你出的主意[写满你的名字]
written all over it.
就像我的飞盘吗
Oh, you mean like my Frisbee?
卡尔文别担心好吗
Calvin, don't worry, okay?
我也做贡献了我负责买♥♥花
I'm pitching in, too: I'm picking up flowers
而且我自愿代表班森先生讲发言
and I volunteered to say a few words on Mr. Benson's behalf.
但你都不认识他
But you didn't even know the man.
我要改变这点
And I'm about to change that.
我要问邻里邻居
I'm gonna ask people in the neighborhood
关于他的美好记忆
for their fond memories of him.
我就有
Oh, okay. Here's one.
万圣节时他冲我扔石头还吼我说
For Halloween, he threw rocks at me and yelled at me,
"滚出我家草坪怪忍♥者"
"Get off my lawn, Wack Ninja!"
我根本没扮忍♥者戴夫
I wasn't even a ninja, Dave.
我是黑幽灵
I was a black ghost.
卡尔文我从没见过黑幽灵
Calvin, I've never seen a black ghost.
相信我在这个街区
Well, trust me. In this neighborhood,
千万不要脑袋上顶条白床单
you don't want to walk around
在马路上走
with a white sheet over your head.
好吧也许班森先生
Fine, you know what? Maybe Mr. Benson was
是有点暴躁
a little bit grumpy.
但是我相信只要你尽力去找
But I believe that if you look hard enough,
就会发现每个人都有优点
there's something nice to say about everybody.
你其实还是在说刻薄的菲利斯婶婶
Oh, see? This is about your bitter old aunt
还有她做的难吃的大黄派
and her bitter rhubarb pie.
不对不对
Oh, no, no, no.
我婶婶是很刻薄
My aunt was bitter.
但是她做的大黄派非常好吃卡尔文
The rhubarb pie was incredible, Calvin.
你们真好愿意组织班森先生的悼念席
It's so nice of you guys to host Mr. Benson's repass.
这都是我们应该做的
Well, it's the right thing to do.
让左邻右舍都能聚到一起
Get the neighborhood together,
而且每个人都会拿吃的过来
everybody brings food. And bam,
然后会剩下很多吃的接下来一周
there's enough leftovers that Mama doesn't
我都不用做饭了
have to cook for a week.
妈妈
Hey, Mom.
宝贝
Hi, sweetie.
我在想班森先生去世的事情
I've been thinking about Mr. Benson.
人死后会去哪里呢
Where do people go when they die?
这个嘛
Well...
这个问题问的好
that's a good question.
而答案很复杂
And the answer is very complicated.
人活在世界上是很复杂的...