尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S02E09

Part 2 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:14 a.m.

I don't deserve this.
愚蠢如我如何配得上这种待遇
Stupid little me doesn't deserve this.
丫头们让我来给你们介绍一下
Girls, allow me to introduce you
斯嘉丽·洛温医生
to Dr. Scarlett Lovin.
-我们当然知道她 -我们又不是傻子
- Yeah, we know who she is! - Do you think we're idiots?
女士们还有霍尔特医生
Ladies, Dr. Holt,
非常荣幸能认识你们
it is such a pleasure to meet you.
什么风能够
What glorious circumstances
把你吹来这
brought you to us?
这是我的制片人林克·凡迪泷
This is, uh, my producer, Lenk Van D'Vlonne.
林克在为我们的节目做些调查
Lenk was doing some research for our show
他和我说你们进行了移除寄生残体的手术
and told me about the parasitic twin surgery you performed
我整个人都惊呆了
and I was absolutely blown away.
天啊谢谢你
Oh, my God, thank you!
我不想抢她们的风头
I hate to be a squeaky wheel,
但手术的大部分都是我做的
but... I was the one who did most of the surgery.
那当然
You absolutely did,
而且那是25年以来最惊人的手术
and it was the most spectacular surgery of the last 25 years.
所以我希望你们四个能现场直播一起手术
That is why I want you four to perform a surgery,
作为《洛温医生》的特别集
live on television for a special episode of Lovin' the D.
盖瑞特脸上长了个十五斤的肿块
Garrett has a 16-pound tumor on his face.
霍尔特医生你来移除它
Dr. Holt, you will remove it
香奈儿们会辅助你
and the Chanels will assist you.
好极了太棒了
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
这是日间电视节目历史中第一起手术直播
The first live surgery in the history of daytime television.
姑娘们霍尔特医生
You see, ladies, Dr. Holt,
我们演艺圈有个"它"
there's something we in showbiz call "it.".
你们四个没问题[得到了它]
And you four, you got it.
有几个问题
All right, just a couple things here.
首先这是一起非常危险复杂的手术
First of all, this is a very complicated and dangerous procedure
而香奈儿们又不是医生
and the Chanels aren't doctors.
她们连医学生都不是
They're not even real medical students.
真的吗这...
Really? That's...
你干什么我们需要他们
What are you doing? We need them.
"我们"是谁
Who's "we"?
我们CURE医院需要他们
The C.U.R.E. Institute needs them.
《东北医学杂♥志♥》的混♥蛋♥
That jerk from The Northeast Journal of Medicine
要烦死我了
is so far up my grill...
这样一起电视直播的高调手术
high-profile surgery, this one on TV...
他们就不能把医院关闭了
it would make it impossible for them to close these doors.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我们担心《爱医洛温》的法律风险
We are concerned with Lovin' the D's legal exposure.
如果我们说香奈儿们是医学生
If we were to say the Chanels were medical students
结果她们不是
when they are not,
-《爱医洛温》制片方可能会被诉讼 -当然
- Lovin' the D Productions could face a lawsuit. - Of course.
我们去参加医考有何不可
We'll take the MCATs. Yeah! Why not?
我们没问题我们去参加医考
We're fine with it. We'll take the MCATs.
完全同意我都等不及了
I couldn't agree more. I, for one, can't wait.
我们今天就能考
Uh, we can take them somewhere today.
哪儿能考车管局行吗
Is there, is there a place? Um, uh... the DMV?
好极了
Great.
我们会再联♥系♥你们的
We'll get back to you
考试成绩一出来
and as soon as the test scores come in,
我们就做手术
we'll do the surgery.
祝你们好运姑娘们
Good luck, ladies.
听我说
Hear ye, hear ye.
绿魔首脑会谈正式开始
The inaugural Green Meanie Summit has come to order.
现在...
Now...
我们来回顾一下
we are here to review
过去和将来的凶案
the past and future kills,
再来分配一下剩下能杀的
and divvy up the remaining murders,
这样没有人会感情受伤
so that no one's feelings get hurt.
作为一个精心策划了大规模谋杀的
And as someone who has orchestrated
前杀手我很乐意当裁判
a mass murder before, I am happy to adjudicate.
保证公平公正
Oh, and I-I promise to be impartial,
不是故意要剧透啊韦斯是我爸比
but, no spoiler here... Wes is my dad.
等等什么讲真
Wait, what? Seriously?
-是的 -真的
- That's right. - Yeah, it's real.
相信我我知道的时候跟你一样吃惊
Believe me, i was as surprised as you when I found out.
好了
Okay!
先来小小回顾一下
We're just gonna run through a little review here
确保我们进度一致
so that we're all on the same page
第一小节我称之为...
with a segment that I like to call...
..."谁杀了谁"
..."Who Killed Who?"
分节搞得跟游戏竞赛节目一样
Segment? Wait, is this like a game show?
长毛女
Wolf Lady.
是我♥干♥的
That was me.
还有...泰勒
And... Tyler.
还是我♥干♥的
Also me.
兰德尔
Randal.
依然是我废柴一个
Me. Douche.
你赢了
Winning this one.
那希拉呢
Um, what about Sheila?
-那是我♥干♥的 -总算
- Oh, that was me. - Finally.
那天我刚从斯坦福精神病院
Yeah. I arrived in town earlier that day
看望格蕾丝回来
from the Stanford Insane Asylum visiting Grace,
非常火大
so I was super pissed.
我杀了希拉
I killed Sheila but I ran off
但是当我看见扎丹就跑掉了
when I saw Zayday because her and Grace were like...
因为她跟格蕾丝是好闺蜜
they're like besties.
我还干掉了呃...
Oh, I also killed, um...
那个糖果护士
yeah, the candy striper.
那个胖子
The chubby guy.
谁解决的查德·雷德威尔
Who killed Chad Radwell?
我
Me!
万圣节派对上咬苹果游戏的水
and I also poisoned the apple bobbing water
也是我下的毒
at the Halloween party.
我还袭击了香奈儿五号♥
And I attacked Number Five,
觉得她应该死掉的没想到活了
thinking that I had killed her, but she survived.
然后又找上迪尼斯·亨普希尔
But then I went after Denise Hemphill.
好好感谢了她对我开枪的事儿
Serves her right for freaking shooting at me.
-她没挂只是假死 -真的假的
- She's not dead. Suspended animation. - You're kidding.
那群扮成《汉密尔顿》角色的人又是谁杀的
Who killed all the Hamiltons?
看这里
Oh. Right here.
再加上男士香奈儿
Also, Chanel Pour Homme
和香奈儿11号♥
and Chanel #11.
顺便说一下可是不容易
Which, by the way, was not easy, 'cause it was, like,
在工作日的中间跑出去杀人
right in the middle of a work day.
还有香奈儿九号♥
And Chanel #9, too. Yeah.
等等不好意思我也杀了
Wa-Wa... Excuse me. I also killed
香奈儿九号♥和十号♥
Chanel #9, and Chanel #10.
还有那个记者
A-And that reporter guy, um...
斯雷德·霍伯恩
Slade Hornborn.
加斯凯德医生
Dr. Cascade.
看起来你杀的人最多
Looks like you've had the lion's share of the murders,
我们进行下一环节时
which we will take into consideration
将考虑到这点我称下一环节为
when we move into my next segment, that I like to call,
"谁有机会杀香奈儿们"
"Who Gets to Kill the Chanels?"
听着我已经有过机会享受杀戮了
Look. I've had the opportunity to enjoy some great kills,
所以我很乐意不参与剩下的谋杀
so I'm happy to sit out the rest of the murders
让你们完成
and let you guys finish,
只要你们让我来处理三号♥
as long as I get to take care of Number Three.
慢着慢着慢着
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
你说"处理"
When you say, "Take care of,"
不是杀的意思
you don't mean kill.
你其实是照料的意思
You actually mean take care of,
因为你爱着她
because you are in love with her.
你说得对我确实是好吗
That's right. I am. Okay?
但我们没理由必须杀死所有香奈儿们
But there's no reason we have to kill all the Chanels.
这是谋杀峰会
Uh, this is a murder summit.
如果你不杀人就不该出现在这里