尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S02E01

Part 3 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:11 a.m.

No.
我是全球首位接受全手移植手术的患者
I'm the recipient of the world's first complete hand transplant.
不是吧这不是你的真手吗
Are you serious? That's not your real hand?
当然是
Of course it's my real hand.
你买♥♥二手车这车是你的
You buy a used car, is it yours
还是前车主的
or the guy who used to own it?
我才是奇才而不是这只手
I'm the genius, not the hand.
你手怎么断的
How'd you lose it?
超级碗意外事故
Super Bowl accident.
你参加过超级碗的比赛
You played in the Super Bowl?
抱歉
Sorry.
是超级碗派对的意外事故
Super Bowl party accident.
野兽模式野兽模式野兽模式
Beast mode, beast mode, beast mode!
那是第49届超级碗
It was Super Bowl 49.
我当时在西雅图一家医院上班
I was working in a hospital up in Seattle.
此后的一系列惨剧依然挥之不去
The next tragic series of events still haunts me.
先是停电了
First, the power goes out.
不是吧
?Really?
然后我的白♥痴♥朋友马蒂不停地按开关
Next, my idiot friend Matty starts flipping light switches
想看灯亮不亮
to see if they're working.
我被这堆破事弄得很焦虑
Next, I started getting stressed about the mess.
我早上做了手术屋里不弄干净
I had surgery in the morning and I can't go to sleep
就没法睡觉
with a dirty house,
于是我就开始洗盘子
so I started doing the dishes.
应该是手沾了肥皂太滑
The soap must have lubed up my hands,
我的哈佛毕业戒指掉了
because my Harvard class ring fell off.
我说了我上过哈佛吗说了
Did I tell you I went to Harvard? Well, I did.
哈佛大学
Harvard University.
戒指掉进了排水管
Anyway, my ring fell down the drain,
我伸手去捡
I-- I stuck my hand down to retrieve it,
没想到马蒂打开了垃圾处理器
not realizing that Matty had turned on the garbage disposal.
然后来电了
Then, the power came back on.
天啊真是太惨了
Oh, my God. That's horrible.
这还不是最惨的
That wasn't the worst part.
每一代人中都会出现一个手术奇才
You see, once in every generation, a surgical prodigy arises.
那个奇才就是我
That prodigy is me.
二十三岁时我就成了赫姆斯沃思兄弟
At 23, I was the head surgeon on the operation
分体手术的首席医师
that separated the Hemsworth brothers.
等等他俩根本不是双胞胎
W-Wait. They're not even twins.
所以手术才很难做
Well, that's what made the procedure so difficult.
重点是多年来
The point is, that for years,
我能及常人之所不及
I was the guy you called when no one else could do the job.
我是最棒的
I was the best.
然后我的手成了这样
And, uh, I got my hand and...
就找不到工作了
couldn't get a job.
就像"无鞋"乔·杰克森一样
I was like "Shoeless" Joe Jackson,
棒球外野手
巅峰期遭到禁赛
being banned from baseball in his prime.
你是"无手"乔·杰克森
"Handless" Joe Jackson.
两年来
For two years,
看着那些废物替我工作真是遭罪
I suffered as I watched other lesser surgeons do my job.
心都碎了
It broke my heart,
因为我知道我还能当医生
'cause I knew I could still do it.
当然了
I mean, yes,
我仍然会去探访病人
I would still see the patients.
不过别误会
And don't get me wrong,
我是位治病奇才
I'm a genius at solving medical problems--
擅长诊断病情但是...
you know, connecting the dots, but...
我是外科医生
I'm a surgeon!
这才是我的真正身份
It's my identity.
所以我欠蒙什教务长一个人情
And it's why I owe Dean Munsch
是她找到我给我第二次机会
for finding me and giving me a second chance.
真是令人敬佩
That is admirable.
我有得选吗
Well, what choice do I have?
这里是我最后的机会
This place is my last chance.
如果这里也不行
If it doesn't work out,
我就一无所有了
I've got nothing.
你身上好冰
You're freezing.
是啊我...
Yeah, I, uh,
我体寒
I run cold.
不我奶奶体寒
Oh, no, my grandmother runs cold.
她秋天就得戴毛线帽
She has to wear a little knit cap in the fall,
可你...
but you...
你摸着像冰块
you feel like a block of ice.
我真嫉妒冰
Well, I envy ice.
至少冰遇暖即化
At least, if you give it warmth, it melts.
塞穆德拉医生
Dr. Semedla,
请到泌尿科报到
please report to urology.
我基本上就是被关了起来
I'm basically a shut-in.
只能在万圣节晚上出门
The only night I go out is Halloween.
我只想过正常的生活
Just, I want a normal life.
当然了宝贝
Of course you do, sweetheart.
这是你应得的
And-and you deserve that.
但人们也说
Yeah, but like they say,
就是应得的也没办法
deserve has got nothing to do with it.
我们一开始的判断没错
We were right the first time,
这病没法治
there's nothing we could do.
不可能
No, that's not possible.
我们只需再努力点
We just have to try harder.
不这病是因为染色体导致的
No, it-- this is an issue on a chromosomal level.
就好像你想把眼睛变蓝一样
It's be like asking us to make your eyes blue.
或是让我变暖
Or me warmer.
张伯伦·杰克森和魔法推车 314房♥
Chamberlain Jackson and his magic cart. Room 314.
我就知道我不该来
I knew it. I should have never come here.
让希望再破碎一次
Let you get my hopes up.
抱歉叨扰
Oh... ?Sorry to interrupt,
我好像听到有病人
but I thought I heard a patient
需要点鼓励
who maybe needs a little bit of cheering up.
什么
Excuse me?
你不能就这样闯进来
You can't just barge into a room like this.
这是我的工作
Well, actually, that is my job.
克雷格列表都写了
The Craigslist ad said,
诚招二十到三十岁的鼓舞先生
Uplifting male, 20 to 30, needed for unpaid nurse's aid position
零薪水立即上岗
to start immediately.
小美女你好啊
How you doing, pretty little lady?
我叫张伯伦·杰克森
My name is Chamberlain Jackson,
我是你友善的志愿小助手
and I'm your friendly neighborhood candy striper.
这是我的魔法推车
This right here is what I call my magic cart.
拿上它俩明早叫我 "血猩玛丽"
Take two of these and call me in the morning, Hairy Mary.
我要离开这里
I am leaving here right now.
我这辈子还没被
I've never been so embarrassed
-这样羞辱过 -拜托别走
- in all my life! ?- No, no, please.
给我们一周
Just give us one week.
好吗我保证
Okay? I promise you,
下周我们会拿出治疗方案
by next week, we will have a cure.
一定
Yeah, sure.
好吧
Okay.
我吃不了这个会粘住毛
There's no way I can eat that. S... stick to me.
不用了
She's good.
我有事跟你说
Okay. We need to have a discussion.
你是觉得我把遗传绝症
Does it involve the inane decision
作为首个病例太蠢吗
to make our first case an incurable genetic disorder?
我为什么要坚持
Why on Earth did I insist
把狼女作为我们的标杆病例
on making Werewolf Girl our flagship case?
治愈寨卡病毒都比这简单
It'd be easier to cure Zika.
这医院只有我一个女生
Does it not bother you that
你不觉得别扭吗
this hospital staff is just me and a whole bunch of dudes?
你不是新女权主义标志什么的吗
I thought you were this icon of New Feminism, or something.
女权主义太无聊了
Feminism... is just so boring.
我是觉得
What I'm saying,
我们可以再招些女性
is we could use some more ladies around here.