尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S02E05

Part 4 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:13 a.m.

I don't understand.
香奈儿是什么
What's a Chanel?
我们我们就是香奈儿
Duh. Us. We're Chanels.
你喜欢钱对吧说真话
You like money, right? And telling it like it is?
是吧大概
Yeah, I guess.
就这么定了恭喜你
It's done. Congratulations.
你是香奈儿了
You're a Chanel.
你跑完一个短程赛要多久
How long would it take you to run a full sprint?
你说什么
I'm sorry?
比如说如果一个成年男子拿着
Like if a grown man was chasing you with a big stick
一个形似刀子但是金属制的大棒追你
that's shaped like a knife but made out of metal?
-那不还是刀子 -是的
- So, a knife? - Yeah.
-你觉得你跑得过他吗 -大概不能
- Do you think you could outrun him? - Probably not.
恭喜你
Congratulations.
你成为香奈儿的一员了
You're a Chanel.
我们去找下一个香奈儿候选人吧
Let's go find the next potential Chanel.
没别人了就这些
There aren't anymore. That's it.
-病患就只有这些 -什么
- Those were all the patients. - What?!
该死三号♥ 我们至少还缺一名香奈儿
Damn it, Number Three! We need at least one more Chanel
我们存活的几率才能翻倍
to double our chances of survival!
我们必须采取非常措施了
We're gonna have to do the unthinkable.
不不能找他
No, not him.
我也不愿意这么做三号♥
Look, I don't like it any more than you do, Number Three.
但我们必须找崔斯坦
We're gonna have to call Tristan.
我们第一次听说崔斯坦这个人
We first learned about Tristan
是在我们的谋杀案上诉期间
when we were appealing our murder conviction.
有个神经病手写了关于
Some psycho was writing these handwritten novels
香奈儿们都是女同性恋的小说
where all the Chanels were lesbians,
书中写着我们整天只知道互搞
and all we did was have sex with each other.
这是给你的
This is for you.
"你好香奈儿我叫崔斯坦·圣皮埃尔
"Hey, Chanel. My name's Tristan St. Pierre,
《百合激♥情♥之香奈儿悄悄绽放》
"我是你的头号♥粉丝
"and I'm your biggest fan.
"我听说了你们谋杀案审判的事
"I heard about your murder trial,
《欲♥火♥姐妹之三号♥爱上五号♥》
"于是决定寄给你们一些
"so I thought I'd send you
《香奈儿·奥伯林蕾丝边施虐女王》
"我写的香奈儿同人小说
"some of my Chanel fan fiction.
请笑纳"
Enjoy!"
当时我并没有多想
I didn't think twice about it,
然而三周后...
and then, three weeks later...
"香奈儿我是崔斯坦恭喜你被无罪释放"
"你觉得我写的同人小说如何"
"你的律师给了我你的号♥码请别见怪"
"我真是太崇拜你了"
"我对你着迷谁叫你如此高贵冷艳"
"求给我的同人小说意见反馈"
"你发微博我的留言总是满满正能量"
"九月刊你看了吗
圣罗兰加入各种皮草元素..."
"...我简直爱死了"
"...and I love it."
如今我得求助于崔斯坦
That I was turning to Tristan now
说明现在形势十分危急
meant that it was dark times indeed.
我不明白这是怎么回事
I don't understand what's happening here.
这都是些什么人
Who are these people?
香奈儿七号♥和八号♥
Chanel #7 and 8.
五号♥ 放尊重点
Number Five, show some respect.
一个跟林肯总统一个毛病
One has Abe Lincoln disease,
林肯总统疑似患有马凡氏综合征
另一个面部僵硬之类的
and the other one can't move her face
跟她说话非常痛苦
or something and is torture to talk to.
马凡氏别挡视线
Marfan, get out of the way.
你是在跟谁聊天
Who is that you're talking to?
五号♥ 容我向你介绍男士香奈儿
Number Five, may I introduce Chanel Pour Homme?
什么不这可不行
What?! No. Okay, this is not allowed!
又男又娘的香奈儿
A Chanel who is male and gay?
这是绝对不允许的
I mean, that's simply out of the question!
他会偷走我们所有的化妆品而且...
He's gonna steal all of our makeup and besides,
香奈儿他看起来像个杀人狂
Chanel, he seems like a serial killer.
够了你真没必要窃窃私语
Okay, well, there's really no need
因为大家都听得一清二楚
to keep whispering, because everybody heard that!
再说同性恋才不会杀人
And besides, gays don't murder people.
他们是倡导和平的
I mean, they're a-a peaceful,
音乐爱好者对吧
musical people, right?
你说说哪个杀人狂是同性恋
Name me one gay serial killer.
约翰·韦恩·盖西杰夫瑞·达莫
John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer.
皆为连环杀手
我敢打赌梅内德斯兄弟
It's a good bet one of those Menendez brothers
晚上也都睡同一张床的
was crawling into bed with the other one, too.
好吧你猜怎么着
Okay, fine. You know what?
也许他真是个杀人狂
Maybe he is a serial killer.
但他也是个小可爱
But he's also a twee,
也就是说我们可以轻松击退他
which means we could easily fight him off.
而且三号♥和我才不要
And Number Three and I aren't
清理你的便盆了五号♥
cleaning your bedpans, Number Five.
而且被这些充当人肉挡箭牌的新仆人
Plus, we should all feel a little safer now that
围着转让我们觉得更有安全感了呢
we're surrounded by our new servants, slash human shields.
-慢着你说什么 -干杯
- Wait. Your what? - A toast.
敬七号♥ 八号♥和男士香奈儿
To Number Seven, Number Eight, and Chanel Pour Homme.
康复病原学医护联合医院
你当时在联♥合♥国♥员工餐厅里
Okay, so, you were in the U.N. Commissary,
而且正值午餐时间
and it was lunchtime you said?
是的我踩到香蕉皮滑倒了
Yes, I... I slipped on a plantain peel,
头撞到了油毡地板
and I hit my head on the linoleum floor.
我已经说了我记不清有多少次...
I told you, now I don't know how many times...
霍奇基斯女士看起来你还没意识到
Ms. Hotchkiss, you seem to be unaware of the fact that
你每次说话都会换一种口音
each time you speak, you take on a different accent.
-你说什么 -他说得没错
- What did you say? - He's right.
在过去的十分钟内你分别换过
In the last ten minutes, you've done
得州奥地利挪威越南
Texan, Austrian, Norwegian, Vietnamese,
阿尔及利亚博茨瓦纳和塔吉克
Algerian, Botswanan, Tajik
还有一种类似于伯尼·桑德斯的口音
and something that sort of sounded like Bernie Sanders.
她得的是外国口音综合征
Foreign Accent Syndrome. That's what she has.
根本不可能有什么
There's no way there's actually
"外国口音综合征"这回事
something called "Foreign Accent Syndrome."
我花了整整一晚上
I spent the whole night
查阅医疗档案
going through the medical files,
和医学报告
going through white papers.
证实了外国口音综合征的确存在
Foreign Accent Syndrome is a real thing.
虽然这种病很罕见
Although it's extremely rare and
且多数是由于中风及脑外伤引起
usually associated with stroke or traumatic brain injury.
看看这个
See, right here.
第一个确诊病例出现于1907年
First condition was identified in 1907.
自1941年以来有61宗报告病例
61 cases have been reported since 1941.
等一下
Wait a minute.
你是指我可能中风了吗
Are you saying I might have had a stroke?
不你没有中风
No. You didn't have a stroke.
我刚刚说话是带有一种奇怪的苏格兰口音吗
Did I just say that in sort of a weird Scottish accent?
是啊为什么你的口音突然改变了
Yes. Why did your accent just change?
可能这是带有传染性的慢着
Maybe it's contagious. Wait.
我刚刚是用一种奇怪的爱尔兰口音讲话吗
Did I just say that in a weird Irish accent?
天哪这是传染病
Sweet mother in heaven. It is contagious.
这是加拿大口音吗
Is that a Canadian accent?
这病已在某种程度上变异成病毒性疾病了吗
Has this disease somehow mutated and gone viral?
不是互联网病毒是触染性病毒
Not Internet viral. Contagion viral.
糟了麦当娜肯定也是得了这个病
Oh, crap. This must be what happened to Madonna.
我们要给她打电♥话♥
We need to call her.
谢谢你崔斯坦
Thank you, Tristan.
别离我太远以防我要擦脸
Now, stay close in case I need my face wiped
或是要清理牙缝间的剩菜残渣
or to have pieces or arugula picked from my teeth.
崔斯坦这是什么
Tristan, what is this?
这是新的同人小说
It's some new fan fiction.
《欲♥仙♥欲♥死♥》
这些新故事简直让我
All of these new stories are just bursting out of me
灵感不断涌现
in thick ropes of inspiration.
我写得停不下来
I can't stop writing.
-你嘴巴上涂的是什么 -没什么
- What is on your lips? - Nothing.
-你偷用了我的口红吗 -没有
- Did you steal my lipstick? - No.
你嘴巴上涂的是Koko K口红