剧集 | 尖叫皇后（2015） | 导航列表
*We walked arm in arm*
*But I didn't feel his touch*
*A desire I'd first tried to hide,*
*that tingling inside was gone*
You have to come.
Something really bad happened.
Did you just get your period all over yourself?
This isn't my blood.
Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?
Guys, I'm so sorry.
Obviously, I'm as upset as anyone about this.
I'm sure I can walk if I can just get some Gatorade.
I don't care if you can walk.
How are we supposed to get you to the front door
without everyone seeing you all gross and postpartum?
No one wants to see that at a party.
Right. Of course. Uh...
This is super embarrassing.
I didn't even know I was pregnant.
I just thought it was the freshman 15.
I thought I was having a bread baby.
You are officially the worst Kappa pledge of all time.
Okay, we have to get her help.
You guys, they're playing "Waterfalls."
Is that a baby? Amazing.
Look, this is our song.
I am not missing "Waterfalls" for this.
"Waterfalls" is my jam.
We can't just leave her.
We'll be back after this song.
Give the baby some mojito to quiet it down.
You guys, I'm such a good babysitter.
I brought you some Bartles and Jaymes.
What the hell?
What's wrong with her? She looks awful.
How do you know she's dead?
Because her eyes are stuck open.
I tried to touch one, but she didn't move.
Dude, that is so gross.
I can't even wear contact lenses
because that freaks me out so much.
Okay? What the hell are we gonna do?
Good morning, slits.
Good morning, Chanel.
My name is Chanel Oberlin,
and I am the queen of Kappa Kappa Tau.
These are my minions.
I don't know their names.
I don't want to know their names.
They're known as...
I'm Chanel #1, obvi.
There was a Chanel #4, but she got meningitis.
She was like, "I'm sick. I have to go home."
And I was like, "No. Stay."
But she went home anyway, and then she died.
So another thing I was right about.
I'll see you ladies in bio.
I have a colonic at 10:00.
A lot of people talk smack about how sororities
are exclusive and they're a class system.
Well, guess what.
Life is a class system.
And a sorority is the one place left in the world
where you get to pick and choose the people around you.
That obese specimen of human filth scrubbing bulimia vomit
out of the carpet is Ms. Bean.
I call her White Mammy
because she's essentially a house slave.
Excuse me, White Mammy.
You're not allowed to call me that.
对不起 我有个问题 只是个假设
Sorry. I have a question. And it's just a hypothetical.
If I asked you
if you knew somethin' 'bout birthin' babies
or if you didn't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies...
What would you say?
I'd say I don't know.
I don't know nothin'
'bout birthin' no babies.
Amazing. Thank you.
Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.
Let's make that a priority.
The things you say are hilarious
- and poignant. - Thank you.
Yeah, you have an amazing skill at telling people
what they need to hear.
I'm sorry. Did I ask you to pull down my panties
and blow a compliment up my butt?
Nobody likes a suck-up, Chanel #5.
Oh, Ms. Chanel, I almost forgot.
The Dean of students called, and she needs to see you right away.
I'm gonna be honest.
I hate sororities, and I hate you.
For years, I've seen the damage
these so-called sisterhoods have had on young girls.
Do you think you like to munch box
because your last name is Munsch,
or is that just a coincidence?
First of all, I'm not a lesbian.
Second, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
You see, out in the real world,
people just don't talk that way to other people.
It's not normal.
Now, I'm not sure you're aware,
but I'm no longer Associate Dean.
After Dean Reynolds' unfortunate passing over the summer,
I was promoted to her position.
- Well, that sure sounds suspicious. - Yes.
I snuck into the home of my 80-year-old colleague of 20 years
and dropped a transistor radio in her bathtub
so I could get a five percent raise.
Take your glasses off.
Now, Dean Reynolds' oversight of Greek Life
at this school was so negligent that it bordered on criminal.
And Kappa is the source of rampant reports of alcoholism,
prescription drug abuse, racism,
as well as allegations of bestiality...
剧集 | 尖叫皇后（2015） | 导航列表