尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S02E02

Part 3 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:12 a.m.

霍尔特医生你太厉害了
Wow. Dr. Holt, you are... incredible.
是吗
Yeah?
我跟你说我组乐队了吗
Did I tell you I started a band?
我是主唱乐队叫做镀金蛋
I'm the lead singer. Front man. It's called Gold-Plated Nutsack.
求求你们了快救救我
Please, please, somebody help me.
我感觉我要尖叫致死了
I feel like I'm gonna die from screaming.
抱歉兰德尔可这病目前没得治
I'm sorry, Randal, but there... there's no known cure.
但这正是这所医院的意义
But that is the point of this hospital--
治愈曾经的不治之症
to cure the heretofore incurable.
所以别担心兰德尔
So, don't worry, Randal.
我们会帮你的
We are going to help you out.
我保证
You have my word.
抱歉
Sorry.
蛋蛋
Nutsack.
来一发复仇炮怎么样
How do you feel about revenge sex?
美国你好
Hello, America.
我是香奈儿五号♥
My name is Chanel #5.
我需要你的帮助
And I'm here to ask you for help.
这是我的朋友泰勒
This is my friend Tyler.
他原来很帅
He used to be hot,
可现在他全身都是奇怪的包
and now he's covered in weird skin bubbles.
我是泰勒两年前我被诊断出...
Hi. I'm Tyler, and two years ago, I was diagnosed with...
两年前他被诊断患有一型神经纤维瘤病
Two years ago, he was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis type 1.
这个严重的疾病将这位帅小伙
It's a crippling disease that turned this hot guy
变成了行尸走肉
into a living, breathing monster.
恳请你资助他进行昂贵的激光治疗
Won't you please help him afford the expensive laser
-让他能够摆脱困境 -我看不下去了
- that could end his torment? - Okay, I can't watch this anymore.
五号♥ 这真是史上最烂的筹款视频
Number Five, that is the worst fund-raising video ever made.
说什么呢这很煽情啊
What are you talking about? It's really emotional.
-真心不煽情 -五号♥
- It's really not. - Okay, Number Five,
你这思路完全是错的
you're going about this all wrong.
你是想让泰勒做激光治疗
But you want Tyler to get those laser treatments
这样他就能帅回去你们就能约会了吧
so he'll be hot again and you can date him, right?
五号♥ 一旦他帅回去
Well, Number Five, once he's hot again,
他才不会想跟你约会呢
he's not gonna want to date you.
香奈儿说得没错
Chanel's right.
只有泰勒浑身是包你们才有戏
The only shot you have with Tyler is if he stays all warty.
如果你想和泰勒在一起现在就得去陪着他
Look, if you want to be with Tyler, you need to go for him now,
做那个陪他渡过"瘤"关的女孩
be the girl that stood by him through his tumoriest days.
等他再变帅时
Then when he's hot again,
他就会觉得必须要和你在一起永不离开
he'll feel obligated to stay with you and never leave.
查到什么了
All right, what we got?
肯定有人雇了
Someone must have hired someone
某个在线挽回声誉公♥司♥的人
from one of those online reputation redemption companies
抹去了这家医院所有的记录
to scrub clean any file on this hospital.
谷歌♥上搜到的只有医院创立时间
And all that comes up on Google is stuff from when it first opened
还有一篇关于蒙什教务长买♥♥下这里的文章
and an article about Dean Munsch buying the place.
在80年代这里还只是普通医院时的
And a whole chunk from when it was just a normal hospital
所有资料都不见了
in the 1980s is missing.
我们得去本地图书馆
Look, what we need to do is go down to the local library
搜索微缩文件
and just search the microfiche files.
那些是无法抹除的
You can't scrub those.
好主意我们走
Oh, great idea. Let's go.
扎丹不用去图书馆
No, Zayday doesn't go to the library.
张伯伦把图书馆送到扎丹面前
Chamberlain brings the library to Zayday.
我下午去过了
I went this afternoon.
图书馆非常"可怕诡异"
Libraries are very "Screepy" places.
但是我们需要一个特殊仪器
Okay, but don't we need a special machine
才能看这些东西吧
to be able to look at these things?
楼下的档案室一切就绪
All set up downstairs in the archives room.
感觉像是身临70年代的电影
I feel like I'm in one of those movies from the 1970s.
日期是1986年11月1日
This is from November 1, 1986.
万圣节医院大屠♥杀♥
万圣节之夜医院全体员工被害
The entire hospital staff was murdered on Halloween night.
你们扮的是什么
Hey, what are you guys dressed as?
我是美国宇航局的旅行者二号♥航♥天♥器
I am NASA's Voyager 2 spacecraft.
我是天王星
And I'm Uranus.
1月24日美国宇航局的旅行者二号♥
On January 24, NASA's Voyager 2
首次与天王星♥相♥遇
made its first encounter with Uranus.
今晚麦克医生和我准备
And tonight Dr. Mike and I are gonna
让这一幕在地球上演
recreate the encounter here on Earth.
太棒了
Amazing!
你们想跟我们一起嗑可♥卡♥因♥吗
Hey, do you guys want to go do some cocaine with us?
我们得先看《为你疯狂》
Not while "Mad About You" is playing.
或许我不该嗑药的
Maybe I shouldn't be doing this.
我还当值呢
I am still on call.
别杀我
Leave me alone!
那面具很眼熟
That mask looks familiar.
不可能
No. It can't be.
没人知道我谁都没说
No. No one knows. I didn't tell anybody.
我谁都没说
I didn't tell anybody.
你想干什么
Hey! What do you want?!
你是谁
Who are you?!
天啊
Oh, my God!
没人被逮捕归案
No one was arrested.
警方至今没找到凶手
They never found out who did it.
你们来这里做什么
What have you two been doing?
没什么
Nothing?
你还好吗
Are you feeling okay?
再过一刻钟我就会感觉特别棒
I'm gonna be feeling great in about 15 minutes.
你和香奈儿们住在一起对吧
You live with the Chanels, right?
是的
That's right.
你能告诉我她们的详细日程吗
Would you mind providing detailed information as to their schedules?
比如她们一天中某个时刻在哪里
Like where they are at certain times of the day,
她们什么时候最可能是独自一人
when they're most likely to be alone.
你为什么要知道这些
Why would you need to know that?
如果我能知道香奈儿们某个时刻在哪里
If I know where the Chanels are at any given time,
我就能确保她们能完成被分配的工作量
I can make sure they can handle the workload they've been given,
考虑到她们是没当上医生的白♥痴♥
considering they're idiots who aren't doctors.
如果是这样那你也要
Well, in that case, you'd need to want
知道我的信息吧
to know the same information about me, wouldn't you?
是的
Uh... yeah. Right.
可你刚刚说的话听上去
Way you just said that made it seem like
好像只想要香奈儿们的信息
you only want intels on the Chanels.
是又怎样
Well, what if I did?
这就意味着你的解释是个谎言
That would mean your explanation was a lie,
我也不会帮你了
and I'd have a real problem with helping you.
你不帮我我还可以找别人
Fine. If you can't help me, I'll find someone who can.
把我的保健品捡起来
Pick up my supplements.
早
Morning.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
洗澡啊
Uh, showering?
今天第三次了
My third of the day.
洗得香喷喷以备不时的性需求
Like to stay extra fresh just in case emergency sex pops up.
这里是员工室
This is an employee locker room.
我懂了
Ah. Look, I get it.
跟浑身涂满香皂的我
Standing in here with me...
站在一起时
all naked, sudsed up.
你肯定会想
You're thinking to yourself,
"这就是上个征服了香奈儿的男人
"Wow! That is the last climber to summit Mount Chanel.
我怎么能和他比啊"
How am I supposed to compete with that?"
查德我是位天才外科医生
Look, Chad, I'm a surgeon-- a brilliant one.
你具备值得约会的男人清单里面的两点[箱子]
You check off two boxes on the dateable guy checklist:
英俊和有钱
handsome and rich.
知道吗我也具备
And guess what, I check those, too.
第一我从来没听说过那清单
Okay, first of all, I have never heard of that checklist,
所以我觉得那狗屁不存在
so I call bull crap on that existing.
确实存在
Oh, it exists.
第二你刚刚是夸我帅吗
Second, did you just call me handsome?
鉴于当前情形这有点奇怪
'Cause, given the circumstances, that's a little weird.
第三