尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S02E05

Part 3 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:13 a.m.

三号♥ 洗完所有的东西
Number Three, finish cleaning all of these, and then,
然后给我带一杯拿铁和韩国水疗的司康饼
bring me a latte and a scone at the Korean spa.
我要做美甲和阴♥道♥保养
I am getting a manicure and a vag steaming.
不行如果要做阴♥道♥保养
No way. If anyone's vag is getting steamed,
也该是我的阴♥道♥
it's my vag.
这一切都不对
This is all just so wrong.
奥柏林家的人已经超过三百年不工作了
I mean, an Oberlin hasn't worked in over 300 years.
几个世纪以来我们的基因在发号♥施令上
We have been genetically perfected over centuries
进化得越来越完美目的只是为了一件事
of ordering people around to be good at only one thing.
发号♥施令
Ordering people around.
就是这样
That's it.
我们之所以失去了活下去的动力
The reason we have lost the will to live is because
是因为如果我们不能发号♥施令
what's the point of living if we don't have people
那活着有什么意义
to boss around?
如果没人供我们折磨使唤
Who are we if we don't have pledges to torture
那我们算什么
and make do stuff for us?
我们上哪儿去招募跟班
How are we supposed to recruit pledges?
我们已经不在联谊会了
We're not in a sorority anymore.
这家医院忽然就被恶心的病人塞满了
This hospital is suddenly full of gross, sick people.
对于现有的员工来说太多了
I mean, way too many for the limited staff we have now.
蒙什教务长和贺佛护士需要
Dean Munsch and Nurse Hoffel need
更多人手我们来帮他们招募
to hire more people, so we're gonna do it for them.
我们把她们训练成香奈儿们
We'll train them to be Chanels
变成我们的跟班
and make them our minions.
如果说我学到了怎样在连环杀手
I mean, if I learned anything from surviving the last
手下逃生
serial killer who tried to kill us,
那就是你永远需要一群不惹眼
it's that you always need a group of less attractive,
不受那么欢迎不那么有趣的人在周围
less popular, less interesting people around
让杀手先杀他们
for the killer to kill before you.
好吧这主意很赞
Okay, that is genius.
所以为什么我是首脑
Which is why I'm the brains of this operation.
现在先去水疗
Now let's hit the spa.
便盆可以先放着
These bedpans can wait
直到我们找到不惹眼的人来清理
until we find less attractive people around to clean them.
在
Yes!
蒙什教务长
Dean Munsch, there's something
我有事情想跟你说
I need to talk to you about.
什么事
Mm-hmm. What is it?
是张伯伦我有理由怀疑
It's Chamberlain. I have my suspicions
他是1985年那个孩子
that he's the baby in the belly from 1985,
这事儿要给我逼疯了
and it's driving me crazy.
我要知道你怎么找到他的
I need to find out how you found him
他面试是什么情况
and what his interview was like?
张伯伦到底是谁
Who's Chamberlain?
张伯伦那个护士助手
Chamberlain, the candy striper
你在克雷格网站发广♥告♥招的
you hired from your Craigslist ad?
我们没有护士助手
We don't have a candy striper.
我也绝对不会在克雷格网站发广♥告♥
And I would never take an ad out on Craigslist.
那是给已婚男人买♥♥毒品
That's where married men score meth
和搞基的地方
and hook up with each other.
等等你是说你没有雇他
So wait. You're saying you didn't hire him?
大个子非洲裔讨人喜欢有点跟踪狂
Big guy, African-American, loveable, a bit of a stalker?
那个家伙啊我以为
Oh, that guy. I thought
他是布洛克·霍尔特医生的助手
he was Dr. Brock Holt's assistant.
布洛克·霍尔特医生没有助手
Dr. Holt doesn't have an assistant.
他现在是我的头号♥嫌疑犯
I mean, now he's my prime suspect.
你以为呢
Oh, you think?
一个成年人在医院晃荡
An adult man wanders into a hospital
假装负责只有年轻小姑娘才会
and pretends to have a weird volunteer position
担任的志愿者职务
that's almost exclusively reserved for young girls?
一点都不奇怪是吗
It might not even be a thing anymore.
你以为...他只是可能会跟这场
You think... that he might have something
大规模谋杀有一点关系而已嘛
to do with mass murder?
我要把这件事查个水落石出
I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.
如果我们要找出那个孩子是谁
If we're gonna find out who that baby is,
我们得先找到母亲
we're gonna need to find the mother first.
来吧妈咪让我们先找到你在哪儿
Come on, Mama, let's find out where you are.
有人吗
Hello?
帮帮我
Help me.
老天爷
Oh, my gosh!
香奈儿五号♥ 出什么事了
Chanel #5, what happened?
我只是想起来
Well, I was just trying to get up
弄一茶匙蛋黄酱
to get a teaspoon of mayonnaise,
然后我绊倒了爬不起来
and then, I tripped, and I couldn't get up.
你在这里做什么
What are you even doing here?
你应该在医院
You should be in the hospital.
就是啊我应该在医院
Yes, I should be in the hospital!
我刚被大砍刀刺中
I-I just had a machete thrust
刀入胸腔22厘米
nine inches into my thorax,
砍断了三根肋骨刺穿了左肺
breaking three ribs, puncturing my left lung
完全切断了我右手腕的骨头
and entirely severing my right trapezoidal.
我应该在重症监护室里
I should be in the ICU.
我以为你就在那里呢
Well, that's where I thought you were.
本来是直到香奈儿把我推回这里
Oh, I was, until Chanel wheeled me in here.
然而她告诉我
But then she told me
只是因为我在这儿更方便她羞辱
it was just that I was more convenient to insult.
同时
In the meantime,
没人照料我这危及生命的伤
no one is taking care of my actual life-threatening injury!
我目前没收到一份鲜果花束
I have received exactly zero Edible Arrangements.
听着我很乐意照看你
Well, listen, I will be happy to take care of you.
作为回报我需要你的帮助
And in return, I could really use your help.
帮你做什么
Help with what?
我们要找出
We're gonna find the mother
1985年万圣节在这家医院的那位怀孕母亲
who was pregnant in the hospital on Halloween in 1985.
我在想我们可以去警局
I'm thinking we can head down to the police station
想办法查阅档案
and try to access the archives.
如果她丈夫失踪
I mean, if her husband went missing,
她会报案的对吧
she would have filed a report, right?
我不知道
I don't know.
我一点并不认为这会帮到任何人
I mean, I don't really think in a way that is helpful to anyone.
跟上我
Just come on!
最新消息呢三号♥ 有回复吗
I need update, Number Three. Any responses?
香奈儿候补名单呢
What about the Chanel wait list?
不了不用了办不到
不可能没门真不用
不用你在逗我绝不可能
没有回复
No responses,
香奈儿候补名单上每个人都不接受
and everyone on the Chanel wait list passed.
这是怎么回事
What is happening?!
两年前如果我在社交网站上发布
Two years ago, if I had posted on my socials
要接收香奈儿新成员的消息
that we were accepting applications for new Chanels,
苗条富有的婊砸们会争先恐后
we'd have throngs of skinny, rich bitches
来敲门
banging down our door!
我不太明白为什么还需要更多香奈儿
I just don't understand why we even need any more Chanels.
我告诉过你肥妞我们需要炮灰
I told you, cow. We need cannon fodder.
我们需要新的香奈儿给绿魔袭击
We need new Chanels for the Green Meanie to attack
这样他才不会害我们
so he doesn't murder us!
你已经有一个了香奈儿
Uh, you already have that, Chanel.
那就是我
Her name is... me!
绿魔已经两次试图杀我
The Green Meanie's already tried to murder me twice.
是啊可能很快他就会得手
Yeah, and pretty soon, he's probably going to succeed,
那时我们怎么办呢五号♥
and then where will we be, Number Five?
是时候采取非常手段了
It's time to start taking desperate measures.
我们需要开始面试病人
We need to start interviewing patients.
你为什么觉得自己有资格成为香奈儿
Why do you think you'd make a good Chanel?
事实上我不觉得
Um, I don't, actually.
我并不知道你在说什么
I don't really know what you're talking about.
你说有关于我病情的重要消息
You said you had some important information about my condition.
我确实有非常重要的信息
No, I do have very important information.
如果有可能成为香奈儿
Your condition is about to improve
你的病情将有所改善
by potentially becoming a Chanel.
我不明白