尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S02E07

Part 2 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:14 a.m.

你总说自己
You are always going on and on,
是北美最棒的外科医生
how you are the most skilled surgeon in North America.
我确实是但是我...
Yeah, and I am, but I just...
我最近没睡好
I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately.
现在没时间给你忸怩
Now, this is no time to be coy.
这个手术你得做
You're doing the surgery.
但是我不行啊
But... I can't.
霍特医生
Dr. Holt,
再死一个人
we are one dead body away
本院就要被揭穿是个病人进来被治好
from being revealed as the hospital where patients come,
又被连环杀手残忍♥干掉有进无回的地方
get cured, and then are brutally murdered by a serial killer.
我更希望因为我们是
Now, I would much rather we were known
近十年来最高水平的外科手术医院
as the site of the most high profile
而被知晓
surgical procedures in the last decade.
我们需要这场手术
We need this surgery.
你就像《杀手比尔》
You're like Kill Bill or that dude
或者《权力的游戏》里脑袋被挤扁的家伙
who got his head smushed in on Game of Thrones.
你训练时有没有很重地打到过头
Were you ever hit in the head really hard while you were training?
经常
All the time.
你知道《功夫小子》吗
You know Karate Kid?
他们以我老师之后的眼镜蛇道馆馆主的模本拍的
They modeled the guy who ran Cobra Kai after my sensei.
怎么了
Why?
我试着找到医学解释
I've been trying to find a medical explanation
为什么你认为你已经死了
as to why you think you're dead,
然后我发现了科塔德症症候群
and I discovered cotard's delusion.
以法国神经学家朱尔斯·科塔德症命名
Named after a French neurologist, Jules Cotard.
基本上病人会认为自己已经死了
Basically, people who have it think they're dead,
某些人会觉得他们压根不存在
or in some cases that they don't even exist at all.
脑外伤可能是发病的原因之一
A traumatic brain injury could be one of the instigating causes.
我并没有脑损伤
Well, I don't have it.
我做过核磁共振
I've had MRIs.
那种情况是由大脑梭状回面孔区
Anything like that would have to be caused by a misfiring
出现问题引起
in the fusiform face area of the brain.
或者是扁桃腺
Or in the amygdalae.
而我的那些区域并无损伤
And there's no signs of trauma in either of those areas.
所以...
So...
也可能是完全的精神问题
It could also be purely psychological.
我认为我们应该给你做精神测试
I think we should give you a psych test to see if you have
看你有没有患上科塔德症症的可能
any tendencies that would make Cotard's a likely diagnosis.
这不是个好主意
I don't think that's a good idea.
我不可能跟认为自己已经死掉的男人有未来
I don't think I can make a future with a guy who's actually dead.
难道我要抚养一个半生半死的小孩吗
Am I supposed to raise little half-dead, half-alive children?
抱歉我不知道你对死人有偏见
I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were prejudiced against dead people.
所有人都是我只是敢于承认
Everyone is. I'm just willing to admit it.
我很喜欢你但是如果我们要在一起
Look, I really like you, but if we're gonna be a couple,
那我得了解你的真实状况
then I need to know what your true condition is,
到底是死了还是活着
in terms of being living or not living.
没有鉴定科塔德症症的正式测试
There's no official test for Cotard's.
诊断与统计手册里也没有所以我自创了一个
It's not even in the DSM, so I invented my own.
我研究了被诊断为科塔德症的人
I researched people who have been diagnosed with Cotard's
在他们的人格类型中发现了规律
and found a pattern in their personality types.
比如精神错乱神经性疾病精神分♥裂♥
Psychosis, neurological illness, schizophrenia,
我从测试这些疾病的测验中
and I pulled questions from a number of sources
调取了一些问题
that test for those kinds of things.
明尼苏达多相人格测验
MMPI,
迈尔斯·布里格斯测验科兹莫
Myers-Briggs, Cosmo.
说实话这是我所做过的最实际的工作
Honestly, it's the most actual work I've ever done on anything.
-我受宠若惊 -开始吧
- I'm flattered. - Let's begin.
判断对错世上的一切都是相对的
True or false: everything in the world is relative.
对
True.
有意思
Interesting.
第二个问题
Second question.
你和女朋友们在外面玩
You're out with your girlfriends
突然发现吧台对面有可爱的男孩子
and you spot a cute guy across the bar.
你会怎么做 A 冲他微笑
What do you do? A, smile sweetly?
B 找他搭讪
B, strike up a conversation?
C 冲他放电等他过来
C, wink and wait for him to come over?
再用肢体行动来勾引他
Your body will do the rest of the talking.
大概选B吧
Um... B, I guess.
你一天中会想多少次死亡或谋杀
How many times do you think about death or murder in a day?
不知道大概37次
Um... I don't know, like, 37.
很多吗
Is that a lot? Yeah.
可能不到37次
Maybe less.
本阶段最后一个问题
Final question of the section.
你最喜欢哪个电影里面麦当娜
Which Madonna do you prefer?
-《寻找苏珊》 -显而易见
- Desperately Seeking Susan Madonna. - Obvi.
-还好吗 -是的
- Is everything okay? - Yes.
下面进入第二阶段
Let's move on to phase two.
你们看着我尿不出来
I can't go if you're watching.
我们需要检测你的尿液
We need to test your urine.
CMMG 开链鸟嘌呤代谢产物
科塔德症患者通常CMMG的血清浓度很高
Patients with Cotard's tend to have a high serum concentration of CMMG
肾功能较弱
and weak renal function.
但你们一定得看着我取样吗
But do you actually have to watch me give the sample?
环法自行车赛冠军因兴♥奋♥剂♥丑闻缠身被终身禁赛
我们得确保你不会像兰斯·阿姆斯特朗一样
We need to be sure that you're not pulling a Lance Armstrong
悄悄换成别人的尿液给我们
and secretly giving us someone else's pee.
你只需要告诉我
All you need to do is tell me
幻灯片中的东西是死是活就好
if the things I'm showing you in the slides are dead or alive.
死的
Dead.
活的
Alive.
乔·拜登美国现任副总统
死的
Dead?
信念乐队
我不知道这是谁
I don't know who that is.
迪克·范·戴克美国演员导演
我不知道
I don't know, I don't know.
我受够了我不想继续做测验了
G-guys I'm done with this. I'm not doing it anymore.
结果怎么说
What do the results say?
斯嘉丽·约翰逊是你的精神支撑
ScarJo is your spirit celebrity,
而且你确实患了科塔德症
and, yes, you have Cotard's.
什么真的吗
What? I do?
等等所以我其实没死
Wait, so I'm not actually dead?
我还活着
I'm alive?
谢天谢地我还活着
Thank God, I'm still alive.
那你怎么解释我肢体冰凉
But wait, how do you explain how cold I am?
如果人们真心相信自己患了某种疾病
People psychosomatically manifest symptoms of a disease
就会显现出症状
if they truly believe they have it.
已知的有长出肿瘤出现皮肤状况
They've been known to develop tumors, skin conditions
甚至瘫痪
or even paralysis.
而且还你睡在空调旁边的水床上
Also, you sleep in a water bed next to a giant air conditioner.
这对你来说一定很难接受
This must be a lot to take in.
也许你应该回家在水床上休息一下
Maybe you should go home and take a rest on your water bed
我们可以晚点再谈
and we can talk about this later.
谢谢你三号♥ 你救了我
Thank you, Number Three. You saved my life.
我没把所有结果都告诉他
I didn't give him all the results.
测试结果显示
According to the testing,
卡西迪·加斯凯德医生
not only is Dr. Cassidy Cascade
不仅在侧抱式中想当被抱的那个
more likely to want to be in the front during spooning,
他还是个精神病
he's also a psychopath.
同时他极有可能是连环杀手
And his most likely profession... is serial killer.
等等这是不是说...
Wait, so this means that...
-卡西迪可能是... -绿魔
- Cassidy might be... - The Green Meanie.
似乎所有的香奈儿都命中注定
It seems like all of us Chanels are just doomed
会陷入浪漫悲剧
to a life of romantic tragedy.
但没关系
But it's gonna be okay.
因为一旦你将卡西迪交给警♥察♥...
Because as soon as you turn Cassidy in to the police...
我们三个就可以
the three of us can start
不用再担心被连环杀手杀害
enjoying the freedom of not living our lives worrying about
开始自♥由♥地生活
being slaughtered by some serial killer.
恢复过去的美好生活
And get back to the good old days:
我们三个一起对抗世界
the three of us against the world.
三个靓妹因为共同的幽默感成为好姐妹