尖叫皇后（2015）

Scream Queens S02E01

Part 4 Sept. 10, 2020, 10:11 a.m.

好我明白了
Okay. I get your point.
我有个主意
And I have an idea.
我知道我该怎么做
I know exactly what I'm gonna do.
早安小浪蹄子们
Good morning, idiot hookers.
-早安香奈儿 -早安香奈儿
- Good morning, Chanel. - Good morning, Chanel.
你以为一旦我们
You would've thought that once we were exonerated
被获奖的网飞纪录片洗白
by an award-winning Netflix documentary,
从精神病院获释香奈儿们就会成为英雄
and let out of the asylum, that the Chanels would be heroes.
你就大错特错了
You would be wrong.
我们都是社会弃儿虽然没有犯罪
We were pariahs. We were innocent of the crime,
但是太婊了
but guilty of being awful.
我们的绝世美貌让我们饱受排挤
Our grade-A blue ribbon realness got us ostracized.
你们最烂了
Oh! You girls are the worst!
我们遇到了严重公众形象危机
We had a serious public image problem.
美国人♥民♥讨厌我们优渥的家人抛弃我们
America hated us, our wealthy families had disowned us,
但我们要继续用功
but we kept our noses to the grindstone
回去念完本科
and went back to finish college.
香奈儿五号♥
Chanel... #5?
我们决定念通信专业
We decided to be communications majors,
因为这专业最简单
because it's by far the easiest,
但我们很快发现通信学位
but quickly learned that a degree in communications
基本上一文不值
is practically worthless.
捐我热血挽救生命
立刻行动
然后我意识到了什么
And then, i realized something.
或许恢复我们形象的最好办法
That maybe the best way to rehabilitate our image
就是转做好事
was by doing something good for a change.
该是我们回馈社会的时候了
I decided it was time for us to start giving back.
五号♥当了牙医诊所接待
#5 got a job as a receptionist at a dentist's office.
布莱特·斯迈尔儿童牙医诊所
Bryte Smile Children's Dental,
有什么可以帮您
how may I direct your smile?
-请稍后 -她说因为他们免费
- Hold on. - She said it was because they provided
为穷♥人♥服务
free services to the poor.
都给我闭嘴
Can everyone just shut up?!
-没看见我在接电♥话♥吗 -但我相信
- Do you not see that I am on the phone?! - But I'm convinced
五号♥只是想免费矫正阴♥道♥牙齿
#5 did it to get free braces for her vagina teeth.
布莱特·斯迈尔儿童牙医诊所
Bryte Smile Children's Dental,
有什么可以帮您
how may I direct your smile?
三号♥在男性生殖医院拖地
#3 got a job mopping up at the local men's fertility clinic.
她可是虎入羊群
She was in heaven.
没事我也怕针但我保证
It's okay. I'm scared of needles too, but I promise you,
-一点都不疼 -但事实证明
- you won't feel a thing. - It turns out,
我超喜欢血
I love blood! Love it!
92%的成分是水含有血红蛋白
It's 92% water, and contains hemoglobin,
为我们循环系统提供氧气
which transports oxygen throughout our circulatory system.
我从哪里学来的
Where did I learn this?
我修了采血师课程
In a course I took to become a certified phlebotomist,
以优异成绩毕业
that I passed with flying colors.
原来... 好了
It turns out... There we go!
搞定我很擅长扎人
All done. ?I'm really good at poking people.
但我们仍然又穷又累
Still. We were poor, and exhausted.
-再给我点吧 -想吃馅饼自己买♥♥去
- May I have some more, please? - Get your own damn pie!
我拖了一周的精♥液♥
I've been mopping wads all week.
谁能想到我们会有如此下场
Who would've guessed it would come to this.
两年前我被选为卡帕公♥馆♥会长
Two years ago, I had just been elected Kappa House President,
与校草交往
and I was dating the hottest guy on campus
他超喜欢干我
who loved porking me
因为我又热辣又有钱
because I was hot and rich.
我们曾是天之骄女
We were on top of the world.
至少我是
Or at least I was.
你俩只是沾光而已
You two were just sort of along for the ride.
然后一个连环杀手来校园大肆杀戮
And then one serial killer goes on one campus killing spree
将罪名诬陷给我们接下来
and frames us for murder, and the next thing you know,
我们只能每晚坐在门前
we spend every night eating fruit pies,
吃着水果馅饼
sitting on a stoop
因为没人愿意把HBO的密♥码♥告诉我们
because no one will give us their HBO GO password.
天啊
Oh, my God.
蒙什教务长
Dean Munsch?
香奈儿香奈儿们
Hello, Chanel. Chanels.
你还来找我们干什么
What do you even want from us?
我想来赎罪
Let's call it redemption.
说一下我的提议
Here's the pitch.
我想让你们来读医学院
I want you to enroll as medical students
并来我的医院上班
and come work at my hospital.
好啊乐意至极
Yes, we'd love to!
太棒了
That's amazing!
闭嘴五号♥
Shut up, Number Five!
这个提议太扯了
Okay, that offer is insane!
你为什么要这么做
Why would you do that?
从你们现在的工作来看
It does appear from your current employment
你们有些医疗经验
that you have some experience in the medical field.
而且你们还有很多需要学习的地方
And I think you girls still have a lot to learn.
我愿意帮助你们
And I want to help you learn it.
有人吗
Hello?!
不是吧
No!
你好啊扎丹你看到我们好像很惊讶
Oh, hey there, Z. You seem surprised to see us.
我不明白你们来这里干什么
I don't understand. What are you doing here?
我们也在医院上班了
We work at the hospital now!
不可能你们不是医学生
That's not possible. You're not medical students.
现在是啦蒙什教务长都安排好了
We are now. I mean, Dean Munsch arranged the whole thing.
你不也是她安排的吗
Didn't she do the same thing for you?
不我寒窗苦读了一年半
No. I got into medical school all by myself,
是凭实力进的医学院
which took a year and a half and was really hard.
你们能来真是太好了
I'm so glad you guys are here!
一定会很有趣的
This is gonna be so much fun.
我觉得我们三姐妹的想法一样
I think I speak for all three of us when I say
我们就从未想过当医生
that becoming a doctor was never the dream.
走吧我们要迟到了
Come on. We're gonna be late.
女士们选一个储物柜
All right, ladies, pick a ?locker.
这是你们脱掉平时穿的衣服
This is where you change out of your regular clothes
换上工作服的地方
and put on your scrubs. ?
我要这件紫色是我的最爱
This is mine. It's purple-- my favorite color.
不我不♥穿♥一次性衣服
No. Nuh-uh. I am not wearing disposable clothing.
作为一名美国注册选民
I mean, you cannot tell me,
你不能限制
as a registered voter of these United States,
我的着装选择
what I can and cannot wear.
天啊把衣服给我
Oh, my... Give me those.
布洛克医生
Dr. Brock.
这是我的医学生团队
This is my team of med students.
我来说下要求
Let's go over what's expected of you.
香奈儿们
All right, Chanels,
你们要跟随医生并仔细观察
your job is to follow the doctors around and observe them.
安静地站着就好
You just stand there silently.
像"幽灵"一样
Something I like to call "Ghosting."
提问 "幽灵"不是这个意思
Point of order? I don't think that's what "Ghosting" is.
"幽灵"是指那些不打声招呼就离开派对的人
"Ghosting" is when you leave a party without saying good-bye.
-那是法式告别 -你们这群蠢货
- That's a French exit. - Okay, you guys are all idiots.
"幽灵"是指你长♥期♥
"Ghosting" is when you've been texting with a guy
和某人发信息
for a long time, and you know,
事情进展得非常顺利
things are going really, really well,
让你觉得他真的爱上你了
and you think that he's really into you, and then,
突然有一天他不回你的信息
all of a sudden, one day, he just stops texting back
因为他终于看清了你的真面目
because he finally saw what you look like.
然后你就发信息跟他说
And so you just text him, and you're like,
"宝贝你人呢"
"Hey, sexy, where'd you go?"
但他并没有回你因为他化身幽灵了
And then he just doesn't answer because he ghosted.
慢着 "幽灵"不是指大便后
Wait. Isn't "Ghosting" when you do a number two
你低头发现没有纸
and you look down at the paper, and there's nothing there,
然后站起来看了眼马桶
and so you stand up, and you look in the toilet,
发现大便也没了
and there's nothing there either, because the turd somehow
因为它在冲水前就掉进洞里了
got shot down the hole before you even flushed?