废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E22

Part 2 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:43 a.m.

Hello, Britta.
你好布雷塔
Come in.
请进
What's going on?
这是怎么回事
Vice Dean Laybourne was repairing a flow duct rupture,
副院长莱伯恩在修理破裂的流管道时
and he inhaled a lethal dose of freon.
吸入了致命剂量的氟利昂
May his breeze join the wind.
愿他的灵魂轻舞飞扬
Okay, so mitosis is when cells divide...
有丝分♥裂♥即细胞分♥裂♥为...
I wonder who Pierce is gonna get to represent him.
我很好奇皮尔斯会请谁作为他的代理律师
I promise, whoever Pierce brings
我保证无论皮尔斯请到谁
won't be prepared for me. That's the Winger guaran--
都无法与我相匹敌这是翁格的保证
Is that the cold-blooded former colleague
那是你的冷血前同事吗
that got you fired from your old law firm
就是他向州律师公会告发你
by ratting on you to the state bar?
害你被前律所解雇的吗
Tee.
球托
So is this a conflict of interest?
所以这算是利益冲突吗
You know, Alan working at your former firm and all?
你懂的艾伦在你的前律所工作啥的
Hey, Pierce just did you the biggest favor of your life.
皮尔斯可帮了你大忙了
He hired a guy I've spent the last two years
他请来的这个小子就是两年来
fantasizing about stabbing in the--Sundance!
让我恨不得一刀捅...霸王弟
Tango!
探戈兄
So...the case of the Sandwich signature.
哎哟接下三明治店归属案啦
What are you doing here?
你怎么来了
I mean, me, I have to, but you?
我嘛是生活所迫你来搅和啥啊
Hawthorne's a cash cow,
霍桑可是款爷
And old a-con here is tugging at that teat.
咱老♥江♥湖有油水就要挤
That's money.
钱来了
Money.
钱来了
Please stop that.
别挤了
So full disclosure. The firm would really like
跟你说白了吧事务所发话了
to keep vitamin "P" in its medicine chest.
要抓牢皮爷不撒手
Full disclosure.
我也跟你说白了
I really want to be done by 4:00.
咱最好四点前完事
Oh, that's the Jeff Wing basket I remember loving.
哎哟你风采不减当年啊
Hey, just go easy on Shirley.
你对雪瑞客气点
Scout's honor, Sinead O'connor.
以童子军名誉发誓西尼德·奥康娜
Oy-yay, oy-yay, the honorable Craig Pelton presiding.
辣妹子辣辣妹子辣院长法官驾到啦
First off, there's one decision
首先请各位帮个忙
I'll need your help making.
帮我参考一下
judging Amy judge Judy?
是扮艾米法官还是朱迪
You say your name is evil Abed,
你说你是邪恶阿布蒂
which does not throw me, because I'm a therapist.
我呢也觉得不奇怪谁叫咱是心理医生呢
So let's talk about evil.
就聊聊邪恶吧
You know what? Maybe I should talk to good Abed instead.
算了我还是先跟良民阿布蒂聊一聊吧
Where I come from, his name is lame Abed.
在我的国度里他那种称为矬人
And you come from... The darkest timeline.
你哪国的平行时空里最黑暗的深渊
You might call it the britta of timelines,
也可以叫布雷塔时空
where everything is the worst.
因为在那个时空一切都混乱不堪
Jeff has one arm there. Annie shot Pierce.
杰夫是独臂安妮朝皮尔斯开枪
Troy can't speak--
特洛伊是哑巴
Now we're getting somewhere. I think lame Abed sent you
我听出眉目了矬人阿布蒂让你代言
to talk because you're more equipped to deal with fear.
是因为你比较擅长于处理恐慌情绪
That's the lame way of seeing it, yes.
以矬人之心度神人之腹意思倒也差不多
Here's the truth.
这么跟你说吧
I've crossed into your dark timeline,
我已经进入了你的黑暗时空
And now I'm going to darken it.
而且要让它愈加黯淡
How?
你要干什么
Tell me about your parents, Britta.
你父母什么情况布雷塔
Um...no?
不告诉你
Barnes, you should be in the chapel.
巴恩斯你应该待在殡仪馆的
We lost a great man today.
英才辞世该好生缅怀
Yeah, he was the best, wasn't he?
是啊他的确是一代英才
That's why I don't understand
正因为如此我更不明白了
how he could rupture a freon line.
他怎么会把氟利昂管搞爆了
that's kind of a rookie mistake.
这可是低级错误
I'm sure it was just a faulty valve.
应该是阀门有问题吧
My first order as vice dean,
我上任副院长的第一个指示
I'm gonna have them all replaced.
就是要把阀门都换了
So you're vice dean now?
你是副院长了吗
Why the sudden interest in air conditioning repair?
你怎么突然关心起空调维修的事儿了
I thought you missed your friends.
你不是念念不忘老同学吗
I do. Then go be with them.
是啊那就去找他们
I'm releasing you.
我放你走
But you Goodbye, Troy.
可是再见特洛伊
Miss Edison, do you recognize the baby in that picture?
埃迪生小姐你认得照片里这个孩子吗
That's Shirley's baby ben.
是雪瑞的孩子本
Would you think less of Shirley Bennett
要是你知道雪瑞·伯纳德
if she offered to sell Ben on craigslist
为了跟丹泽尔打一炮愿意上网卖♥♥儿子
for a chance to bump it with Denzel?
你会因此看扁她吗
That was a joke for my cousin.
那是跟我家人说笑的
Damn those facebook privacy settings.
都怪脸谱网那不靠谱的隐私设置
Jeff, do something. He's got nothing.
杰夫想想办法他什么料也没有
I'm sure she didn't mean that.
她肯定不是说真的
Or perhaps she doesn't even love that baby,
说不定她根本不爱自己的儿子
because she spent most of last year not even knowing
因为她去年一整年都在纠结
who the father is. objection.
孩子他爹到底是谁反对
Establishing character, your honor.
臆断原告人品法官大人
This woman is clearly unfit to own a sandwich shop.
这个女人明显不适合当店铺主人
Alan, come on.
艾伦省省吧
No furths.
没有问题了
I thought you said you were gonna go easy.
你不是答应对她客气点吗
Felt easy to me.
我觉得挺客气了
What was he wearing?
他当时穿的什么
He was dressed as a dinosaur.
扮成恐龙的样子
Is that why you dropped out of high school?
你是因为这个才高中退学的吗
I don't know.
我不知道
Are those even real glasses?
你戴的是真眼镜吗
No.
不是
Ah, do you feel that, Britta?
你感觉到了没布雷塔
Your timeline's 10% darker now.
你的时空比原来黯淡了百分之十
This was 10%?
这才百分之十
Do you know what kind of person becomes a psychologist, Britta?
知道什么人才会当心理医生吗布雷塔
A person that wishes, deep down,
就是那种内心深处非常渴望
that everyone more special than them was sick,
那些比他们有意思的人都有病
because "Healthy"
这样"无趣"的他们
Sounds so much more exciting than "Boring."
就可以自我安慰为"心理健康"了
You're average, Britta Perry.
你就是庸人一个布雷塔·派利
You're every kid on the playground that didn't get picked on.
你就是那种没人看得上的小孩
You're a business casual potted plant,
毫无特色的打工妹
A human white sale.
没人要的可怜虫
You're VH1, Robocop2,
你就是《VH1》《机械战警2》
Aback to The Future 3.
《回到未来3》
You're the center slice of a square cheese pizza.
你就是方形芝士披萨最中间那一片
Actually, that sounds delicious.
感觉还挺好吃的
I'm the center slice of a square cheese pizza.
我才是方形芝士披萨最中间那一片
You're Jim Belushi.
你是吉姆·贝鲁什
12%
12%
Where are you going?
你去哪里
To make this timeline the darkest of all.
把黑暗带给每个人
Starting with your lame hero, Jeff Winger.
就从你们的矬人英雄杰夫·翁格开始
I don't suppose lame Abed owns a bone saw.
矬人阿布蒂应该没有骨锯吧
So, Pierce, you're seeking full ownership of Shirley's sandwiches.
皮尔斯你来争取雪瑞三明治店的完全所有权
After all, you did provide 100% of the financing.
因为资金完全出自你
Correct.
对
You really did? Oh, damn it.
真的吗该死
Jeez, I came to this thing unprepared.
老天我果然没准备好
I mean, I-I guess it's my job to somehow tarnish you
我本来应该在法庭之上
in the eyes of the court, but, uh...
挑出你的毛病可是
Let me check my notes. Take your time.
我查一下笔记慢慢查
Thanks.
谢谢
Hey, uh, while I'm doing this...
我在这边查着