废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E03

Part 2 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:40 a.m.

Very. You know what else is awesome?
妙哉之至知道什么事更妙吗
Last night I saw the Hong Kong movie
昨晚我看的那部香港电影
that Kickpuncher is based on.
居然改编自《拳拳踢战警》
Yeah, I know, I was there.
我知道我跟你一起看的
Did you see the scene where Kickpuncher kick-punches
那你有没有看拳拳踢战警
200 guys with one kick-punch?
横扫二白人的那个场景
Yeah. Both of them.
当然啦都看了
We spend too much time together.
黏得太紧不幸合体
Jinx.
倒霉
Here's Ben with his cupcake.
这是本拿着他的小蛋糕
And here he is a few seconds later
这张是一段时间之后
when he was crying because he dropped his cupcake.
他弄掉了小蛋糕在哭鼻子
And here he is with another cupcake.
这一张是他拿了一个新蛋糕
Oh, oh, wait, these pictures are out of order.
等下照片排序乱了
That's the same cupcake.
还是刚才那个蛋糕
Oh, Shirley, these pictures are adorable.
雪瑞这些照片真心萌
And comprehensive.
而且综合全面
But did you know that sugar is like baby meth?
但你知道吗吃糖的宝宝会过兴奋
That's what my homeopath said.
我的顺势医疗师说的
Well, maybe your gay friend should mind his own business.
让你基友最好少管闲事
"Forget about the girl," I told myself.
"忘记那个女孩" 我对自己说
"Let her go, like a lobster claw letting go
"忘记她如同龙虾松开爪
of a small balloon for lobsters."
将爪中的小气球放飞"
Still, I had a hunch.
我还是预感的
Hmm. A matchbook.
安全火柴
Something about it seemed clue-y.
这玩意似乎暗含线索
"Arizona Matchbook Company."
亚利桑那火柴公♥司♥
Arizona.
亚利桑那
Arizona backwards is still arizona!
亚利桑反转过来还是亚利桑那
It's a palomino!
惊世发现
Maybe I was crazy...
或许我太疯癫
Or maybe I was finally sane.
或许只是世人看不♥穿♥
Why does this guy keep staring at me?
镜中人为什么盯着我
Britta. What are you doing here?
布雷塔你来这儿干嘛
Oh, I was just getting some air.
我就是出来透透气
Me too. And wondering something.
我也是心里有事
I was wondering something, too.
我心里也有事
Tell me. No, you first.
跟我说说不你先吧
I was wondering, what would it be like
我寻思着不如咱俩
if we were partners? - What's going on here?
做拍档怎么样你们干什么呢
Were you thinking of changing partners?
你们在商量换拍档吗
Who's thinking of changing partners?
谁在想换拍档啦
Were you gonna bail on me?
你们这是要背弃我吗
No. No one here is thinking of changing partners.
不是的没人要换拍档
No, sir.
真没有长官
I am!
我想换
While he was spying, I found a turtle.
他刚刚潜行狙击时我抓到只乌龟
It's not fair that I should be the only one here
太不公平了凭什么把这个
saddled with a total waste of space loser.
占地还多余的废柴推给我呢
No offense, Todd. None taken.
无意冒犯托德不介意
Why should you all get the exact partner you wanted?
凭什么你们就可选到称心如意的搭档
That's right.
说得对
It's totally not fair that we saddled Pierce with Todd.
把托德推给皮尔斯太不公道了
We should probably choose partners again.
我们应该重选拍档
I mean, just to be fair.
公平起见嘛
So it's agreed. Let's go to the study room
这么说大家都同意了那么去学习室
and deal with this Todd problem once and for all.
把托德纠纷彻底解决了吧
Okay.
好的
Um, did you want me to come?
我要不要一起去
Um, it's called "The Todd problem."
都说了是"托德纠纷"
Okay, we just have to come up with a fair way
好吧我们要以公平公正公开的方式
to decide who is gonna be stuck for an entire semester
为这学期寻找这...意外产物的
with this...Random.
最终归宿
This, uh...non-grouper.
这位非学习小组成员
No offense, Todd.
无意冒犯托德
None taken. I'm happy to work with whoever.
不介意我和谁合作都好
There's only one way to decide this fairly.
公平的方法只有一个
We go boy-girl, boy-girl.
男女搭配干活不累
But everyone has to have a different hair color.
但是要挑发色不一样的异性
And be from a different High School.
还得是从不同高中来的
And be a different race.
还要不同的种族
I guess I'd be with...Britta.
那我就选布雷塔吧
I guess my--my hands are tied.
我想我别无选择了
The hair color concept intrigues me
按发色分类挺吸引我
because it's how I distinguish you anyway.
因为我就是靠发色认你的
But what if we arrange by age,
那按年龄分组怎样
so that way The young people can work while the old people sleep
老年青年醒睡轮班倒
and vice versa.
反之亦然
Um, I-I was just wondering who you considered old,
我刚刚在想你怎么定义年老
because I'd like to remind you again
我得再提醒你一下
that I'm just about the same age as Jeff.
我跟杰夫可是同龄人
Oh, I was counting Jeff as old, too.
杰夫也算作老年
Oh, well, that's all right then.
那好吧我没意见
I just don't understand how my age has anything to--
我就不明白了这事和我年龄到底有毛
Oh, for Heaven's Sake, Pierce!
苍天啊皮尔斯
I was thinking the thing that would be most beneficial--
我正在想最有利的方法就是
You know, for the group-- would be
你们懂的为了小组好嘛
to pair the people with the lowest GPAs with the highest.
就是按成绩高低配对
Hmm. Interesting.
有意思
The highest carrying the lowest?
高分带低分吗
I can see how you might want that.
我可知道你的狼子野心
You know what, Annie?
你知道个屁安妮
Pew, pew, pew, pew, p--
哔哔哔哔哔
Wait, no. Pew, pew, pew, pew.
数错了哔哔哔哔
Does anyone else have kids?
谁家里有小孩
Because I have a gorgeous little newborn that I'd like to get--
我家漂亮宝宝刚出世我想先回
Oh, perfect!
好极了
You'll enjoy talking to Shirley about her kids.
你就和雪莉唠叨育儿经吧
Uh-uh, don't go trying to pawn Todd off on me.
休想把托德推给我
Again, none taken.
再次表示不介意
Guys, our terrariums are due tomorrow
伙计们生态箱任务明天就得交
and it's already nine.
现在都九点了
Okay, let's make this simple and do it like student housing.
好吧速战速决用学生分寝室的方法
Everyone write down their lab partner preferences
每个人写下自己梦中拍档
From one to eight.
从一到八按次排序
Abed, you're a computer.
阿布蒂发挥人肉计算机功能
You figure out a way to put us in our optimal pairings.
你来算出解决方法把我们最佳配对
And before you all go putting Todd down last,
别急着把托德排最末友情提示
Don't forget he comes with a turtle.
他和乌龟捆绑销♥售♥
You're halfway done.
有了他作业胜利有望
How does that sound?
这个方法怎么样
Somebody wake up Pierce.
谁帮个忙皮尔斯叫醒
Hello, Arizona Matchbook Company.
你好亚利桑那州火柴盒公♥司♥
I had to get some answers.
我得找到一些答案
And I needed answers like a fish needs a bicycle
我渴望答案如鱼渴望脚踏车
a lot.
极其渴望
Hello? Hello?
你好你好
Yeah, I am, uh, interested in your matchbooks.
喂我对你们的安全火柴很感兴趣
Yes, would you like to place an order?
好的请问你想下订单吗
I had to think fast.
必须当机立断
Yes. Get away from my desk.
好的离开我的桌子
I'll call you back.
回头打给你
You've been walking around campus
你有没有在校园里到处转悠
asking people weird questions and then staring at them
神叨叨探人口实死盯盯目露精光
While slightly moving your lips?
一边不动嘴皮子地念念有词
I had to think fast.
我必须当机立断
No.
没有
Ben...I think this job might be getting to you.
本我觉得你是工作过劳
I think you need to take some time off.
你回家歇着吧
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
你存心想赶我走是吗