废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E08

Part 3 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:41 a.m.

Good. That's how I like it. Ha!
那好我就喜欢刺♥激♥的
I'm surrounded by assassins.
危机四伏啊
By own school's paper has turned on me.
连校报都开始攻击我
But when this is all over,
不过一旦尘埃落定
I'll have a commercial with Luis Guzman in it,
我将拍出路易斯·古兹曼参演的广♥告♥
And all they'll have are their words and their fears
而媒体呢只能捕风捉影造谣生事
and whatever embarrassing photos
从我那两面三刀的老妈那里
they can get from my two-faced mother.
挖几张难堪照片爆料
Garrett, I've got two men in diapers here.
加勒特有两个穿尿片的哥们候场
I know one of them is playing
我知道其中一个
the dawn of a new era in education,
要扮演教育的希望之光
But I've got nothing on the other one.
但是另一个是来干嘛的
Oh, I'm just a guest of the dean's.
我只是院长的客人过来打个酱油
Well, both of you go that way, then.
好吧你们俩这边走
The dean had his seventh epiphany today,
院长已经第七次"得蒙圣启"了
which has given me an epiphany of my own.
让我也"得蒙圣启"了一把
The dean is a genius.
院长必然是个天才
He has to be.
毫无疑问的
If he isn't, I've given almost two weeks of my life
如若不然我就是将两周的青春年华
to an idiot. That is unacceptable.
交与了一位蠢货这事实我没法接受
Therefore the dean is a genius.
如此推断院长是个天才
And I will die protecting his vision.
我要以死捍卫他的真知灼见
Are you by any chance familiar with Stockholm syndrome?
你知道斯德哥尔摩症候群吗[女人♥质♥爱上绑匪]
Is it something that the dean created?
是院长大人的创作吗
Because if not, I don't care.
如果不是就不关我事
We all wanna go, but the dean won't let us.
我们都想收工但院长不会妥协的
I think Pierce played this the smartest from the beginning.
我觉得皮尔斯一早退出是正确的
He's probably at home watching forensic files
他这会可能正窝在家里边看《无言铁证》
and eating cheesy popcorn.
边吃奶酪爆米花呢
Well, about time.
很好是时候了
Hey, that's for Luis Guzman.
当心点这可是路易斯·古兹曼的车
Well, when you get me my trailer, he can have it back.
很好给我单独派辆房♥车我就还他
And make it as nice as this one.
要和这辆一样棒
Hey, dean. Dean? Hey, dean!
院长院长院长
Pierce mistook me for the dean today.
皮尔斯今天把我错认成院长了
I want windows. How did that make you feel?
我要有窗户的你作何感想
I've become a stranger to myself.
我看自己都觉陌生
I'm bald now. I've always been bald.
我化装成光头却感觉生来如此
I merely dreamt of having hair.
有头发的曾经恍若梦境
And now the bald man is awake.
现在光头人格觉醒了
Jeff?
杰夫
It's time.
到你上场了
Lights, camera, dean.
灯光摄像机院长就位
Action.
开拍
Why go greendale? Just because!
为何选择格林德尔因为
Cut. Cut.
卡
Lose the bald cap.
把头套摘了
What? I don't like it.
啥我不喜欢
It's hokey, it's fake.
太做作太假了
Take it off.
摘下来
No.
才不
I beg your pardon, actor?
你说什么呢小演员
I have worn this stupid thing for 12 days.
这货我戴了整整十二天
I have made bald friends.
我都融入秃头圈子了
Well, that's your mistake.
那是你的错
Because it's a lie. It's Hollywood crap.
这般虚伪做作的好莱坞俗套
And I won't allow it in my commercial.
在我的广♥告♥中决不允许出现
You're not bald.
你根本不是光头
Yes, I am.
我是
Well, then, you're wrong for the part!
那好这角色不要你演了
Understudy!
替身登场
That's it.
就是这个
That's reality.
这才叫货真价实
Winger, you're done. Go home.
翁格没你事了回家去吧
Go home.
回家歇着去
Okay, I don't know why, but this is the last straw.
好吧我不懂这是为啥但我受够了
As a licensed psychology major,
作为一名执证的心理学专业生
I am declaring this production a violation of human rights.
我宣告本次拍摄严重侵犯了人♥权♥
You have made us prisoners of your insanity.
我们都成为你精神错乱的牺牲品
Shut your face, Britta.
闭嘴布雷塔
If the dean wants his role
如果院长大人决定
to be played by a chinese man in a blond wig--
找位金毛中国男扮演他那就
Oh, my god, you are insane.
天呐你真是疯了
All right, I'm sick and tired
好吧都在胡扯
of hearing complaints
说我强迫你们留下
that I'm forcing people to be here.
这话我已经听得烦腻了
Anyone who doesn't want to help me can leave!
不想参与拍摄的可以走了
Abed, stop! Okay.
阿布蒂别拍了好的
Keep rolling.
继续拍摄
Hello? Hello.
喂喂
Hello?
有人吗
Hello, it's me. Luis Guzman.
喂是我啊路易斯·古兹曼
Hi, Mr. Guzman,
你好古兹曼先生
Dean/Director Craig Pelton.
克拉格·派尔顿院长兼导演
Sorry, I've been editing.
抱歉我在忙着剪辑
It's a little bit of a mess.
有点小乱请见谅
What the hell is that?
这他妈是啥
Oh, that's a possum.
是只负鼠
Once you spend some time with them,
耐心相处一会你就会发现
you see they're just like big, gentle rats.
它们就像温顺的大老鼠
Who's the guy? I'm no one.
这家伙是谁我谁也不是
That's Abed. He's a little bit odd.
他是阿布蒂怪里怪气的
Now, without further ado,
让我们开门见山吧
here is the commercial you will be staring in.
这就是你即将参演的广♥告♥
Why do I go Greendale?
为何选择格林德尔
I've got to make a phone call.
我得打个电♥话♥
I had to tell this dean I couldn't do his commercial.
我得告诉院长我演不来这部广♥告♥
He didn't take that too well either.
他没太明白我的意思
Y'all gotta help this dude.
你得帮帮这家伙
I mean, aren't you his friends?
你不是他的朋友吗
I'm more of a fly on the wall.
我现在是狗仔跟拍党
What is go--
到底怎
What?
什么
You won't be in my commercial,
你不想出演我的广♥告♥
but you'll be in his stupid documentary?
却愿意在他愚蠢的纪录片里露脸
All he does is follow people around.
他只是跟拍毫无编辑
Yeah, but haven't u seen Hearts of Darkness?
没错不过你看过《黑暗之心》吗
way better than I want you
比起那部你给我
the hell off of my campus, you ungrateful backstabber.
滚出学校你个死没良心的
I already got rid of your trailer.
我已经让人把你的专属房♥车拖走了
I had a trailer?
我还有个房♥车
Can anyone hear me?
有人能听到吗
I will walk off this production.
我要退出剧组
I will quit! Hello?
我真要退出了有人吗
I come here to shoot this commercial for Greendale.
我来这是为了给格林德尔拍招生广♥告♥
That's what you had written on the script.
你的剧本原本是这么写的
Ugh, that script was terrible.
这剧本弱爆了
I thought it was pretty good.
我觉得很好啊
Of course you'd think that.
你当然这么想
You went here.
你不都来了吗
Oh, I get it.
我明白了
You're worse than crazy.
你不仅仅发了疯
You're ashamed of your school.
你令学校蒙羞
And that--that statue of me out there,
在外面树我的雕像
that's just wrong, man.
那可不太好伙计
Well, the bronze adds ten pounds.
没错青铜比实际重了十磅
Nah, man It's not going to be perfect.
不是这样本应十全十美的
Screw you.
去你的
I'm just saying, don't worship the people leaving Greendale.
我劝你一句别一心仰慕离开格林德尔的校友
Worship the people that are here.
要珍重现在的学子