废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E11

Part 3 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:41 a.m.

Shirley's sandwiches can offer students more food for less money,
雪瑞三明治可为学生提供物美价廉的食品
and provide the campus with a higher percentage of the profits.
并且能给校方带来更多利润
Pierce, put up the next slide.
皮尔斯放下张幻灯片
That's me!
这不是我吗
Where'd I get all that money I'm holding?
我哪来的这么多钱
I'm gonna tell you the three reasons
我要告诉你三点
that Shirley's sandwiches and your cafeteria
雪瑞三明治和你的食堂
are going to be successful.
能够大获成功的原因
Well, then I'm writing this down, hmm?
我是不是该做点笔记
Wait.
稍等
Here's a pen.
给你支笔
Thank you.
谢谢
Holy crap!
我的老天
Britta, you're really good at this.
布雷塔你很行啊
I know.
这我知道
What's wrong with you?
你怎么了
This may shock you, Annie,
安妮这会惊到你
but I come from a long line of wives and mothers.
但我从小就受各种母亲和妻子的熏陶
Many do.
这很正常啊
But I ran away from it my whole life.
但这给我的影响一生都甩不掉
I refused to give Santa a christmas list,
我不给圣诞老人写礼物单
because I didn't want to depend on any man for anything.
是因为我一丁点都不想依靠男人
And now, look at me!
结果现在瞧瞧我
I'm Betty Crocker. I'm Martha Stewart.
我简直就是贝蒂妙厨家政女王
I'm one of the Steppenwolf wives.
我就是荒原狼的怪物妻
Ohh, God.
老天啊
I'm gonna make some man very happy someday.
将来娶我的那个男人真是三生有幸
Easy. Slow down.
慢点喝别噎着
What's with you guys?
你们俩又是唱哪出
We de-whimsified ourselves.
我们"去怪异化"了
Yep. We're normal now.
没错我们正常了
Oh. Good?
挺好的
Hey, anybody seen Shirley?
你们谁看见雪瑞了
What? Shirley's late to the rehearsal for her wedding?
啥雪瑞自己的婚礼彩排都迟到
Oh, my. Hey, man.
真不可思议伙计
You don't have to be sarcastic.
别挖苦我了
I'm not being sarcastic.
没挖苦你啊
We're heavily invested in your situation.
我们为此投入了很多
Nothing's more important to us
对我们来说没有什么能比
than your second wedding's rehearsal going smoothly.
你们复婚彩排的顺利进行更重要
Walk away, man.
伙计一边凉快去
Hey! Did you think of a toast?
想好婚礼祝辞了吗
Well, yeah.
想好了
Uh, I had a drink,
我喝了杯酒
and I looked in my heart,
审视了一下自己的内心
and here's what I got so far--
这是我目前想到的
"Webster's dictionary defines--"
"韦氏字典中的定义"
Stop!
快打住
"Webster's dictionary defines"?
"韦氏字典中的定义"
That's the Jim Belushi of speech openings--
吉姆·贝鲁西讲话都不会这么无聊
It accomplishes nothing,
这种祝辞空洞无聊
but everyone keeps using it and nobody understands why.
但不知为何大家却一直这么搞
Yeah, well, it's all I got.
是啊我只能憋出这个
That took me eight hours and six Macallan neatses.
这就是八个小时和六杯无水麦卡伦的成果
Look, I'm sorry, I just don't believe in marriage.
抱歉我就是不相信婚姻
I do. It's inevitable.
我相信婚姻是不可或缺的
And then I'd put a counter across here and the ovens there.
然后要在这边摆收银台那里放烤箱
Okay, okay.
好的好的
And how fiscal will the quarterly earnings be?
每季度利润的财务预算是多少
Well, initially, the fiscal--
最初财政状况会是
Wait, that question makes no sense.
等等你这问题太不着边了吧
I know.
我知道
I just want to sound as good at business as you are.
我就想跟你一样商业术语脱口而出
I probably shouldn't say this,
或许这话不太得当
but I cannot believe you learned all this at Greendale.
但真难以置信你这些都是在格林德尔学到的
You're very professional.
你太专业了
I am, aren't I?
可不是吗
I brought sodas, so we can toast to our futures.
苏打水来了一起为未来举杯吧
Look at me now, dad.
爸我现在风光了
Dad? Oh, my God,
爸天啊坏事了
I'm supposed to be looking like a bride
我本该打扮得漂漂亮亮的
for my wedding rehearsal to the dad of my children.
跟孩子他爸一块参加婚礼彩排
I'm coming, baby.
宝贝我这就来了
That was...
这可真是
and odd dot to connect.
思维太跳跃了吧
Give me another.
再给我来一杯
What's with you?
你怎么了
This is who I am.
这就是老娘的本性
Andre, sorry I'm late.
安德烈抱歉我来晚了
I have wonderful news.
我有好消息
Where were you? Uh, getting wonderful news.
你去哪了制♥造♥好消息去了
The dean loved our pitch and--
院长喜欢我们的营销广♥告♥
Your pitch?
你的营销广♥告♥
Woman, I've been waiting for you for two hours.
姐们我等了你俩小时了
Oh, no. Has it been that long?
不会吧有那么久嘛
I'm so sorry.
我好抱歉啊
Don't you dare use your sexy voice on me.
别拿你那性感的嗓音魅惑我
It's just a rehearsal.
不过是场彩排
Lord knows we've done it before.
我们婚都结过了
That's not the point.
重点不在这里
Shirley, I thought this wedding was supposed to be
雪瑞我以为这场婚礼会是
the start of us getting back to normal.
我们回归正轨的开端
Back to normal? Yes.
回归正轨没错
I need to not be Mr. Mom anymore.
我不能再又当爹又当妈了
Okay, I got to get back to my stereo business.
我要回去搞我的音响生意
You know my store's been struggling.
你知道我开的那家店一直不景气
I'm sorry, Andre,
很抱歉安德烈
But "Normal" went out the door the day you did.
你离开家的那一刻就再无"正轨"二字了
Well, if we can't get back to the way things were,
如果不能像从前那样
why the hell are we getting remarried?
那他妈复婚有什么意思
These shrimp are to die for.
这些虾简直是美味之至
I think you've mistaken us for pirates.
我们可不是海盗
We are community college students.
我们是这所学校的学生
Abed, I just had an odd thought.
阿布蒂我突然有个奇怪的想法
What if once you go from being weird to normal,
一旦从不正常变到正常后
you can never go back to being weird again?
万一不能变回不正常该怎么办
That is an odd thought.
这想法确实挺奇怪
Well, let's hope it's the last.
希望别再有怪点子蹦出来了
Cheers to that, my everyday friend.
干一杯吧我无时无刻不在的好机油
Hello, everyone.
大家好
Shirley asked me to say something nice at her wedding.
雪瑞希望我能在她婚礼上说一些祝福的话
This is the rehearsal. Shut up, Leonard!
这只是排练啊伦纳德你给我闭嘴
Those teenage girls you play ping-pong with are doing it ironically.
和你打乒乓球的那些个小姑娘都是在逗你玩儿
I searched my heart...
我掏心挖肺地想啊
For something nice to say at a wedding.
想婚礼上到底说什么漂亮话合适
And I found nothing, so I had a drink.
我什么都没想到所以我就喝了一杯
And then I looked real hard.
然后我又绞尽脑汁地想啊
And you know what I found?
你们猜我发现了什么
My daddy said he would stay with my mommy forever,
我老爹说过他会和我妈长相厮守
and he left!
结果他却跑了
Marriage is a lie! Nobody commits to this!
婚姻就是一谎言没人把它当回事儿
Nobody stays with anybody forever,
俩口子过一辈子那就是一神话
So why do we keep lying?
那我们为什么还要在这儿撒谎呢
I'm gonna stay with somebody forever.
我还想和某人相伴一生呢
It's in my stupid DNA.
我的蠢命里注定的啊
I was born to be a wife
我是穿着嫁衣出生的
and that's all I'm ever gonna be!
我一直都想做一个贤妻良母
You expect anyone here to believe that?
你还希望有人能相信婚姻吗
I don't care if anybody believes it, jackass!
蠢货我才不在乎有没有人相信呢
It's a fact! Prove it, ding dong!
这是事实啊证明给我看啊没招了吧