废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E09

Part 1 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:41 a.m.

Happy Friday, everybody.
周五快乐伙计们
What are you doing this weekend?
周末打算做点什么
The question is, who am I doing this weekend?
应该问周末我打算"做"谁
He's asking because he's already forgotten.
他还问就说明自己已经不记得了
It's nobody.
压根没这回事
I'm volunteering at the animal hospital.
我要去宠物医院当义工
Aw. Animal hospital?
嗷宠物医院
The animals are the patients.
宠物做病人不是做医生
That makes sense.
情理之中
Yeah, Dr. Zizmor's letting me work off
是啊泽摩医生准许我打工还债
the cost of Daniel's eye surgery.
偿付丹尼尔的眼部手术费用
Wait. You won't spend money on a name-brand phone,
慢着你连买♥♥部名牌手♥机♥都不肯
but you got LASIK for your geriatric cat?
却舍得为你家垂死老猫做激光手术
He only has the one eye, Jeff.
他本就是独眼杰夫
I can't exactly buy him a cat monocle, can I?
我又不能给他买♥♥个猫咪专用单片眼镜
It's pretentious.
那样太高调了
And for your information,
顺便好心告诉你
this is a Totorola.
咱用的可是坨坨罗拉[摩托罗拉口误]
Troy and I will be having a very special Saturday night,
我和特洛伊将度过一个特别的的周六狂热夜
as in Dark Knight.
《暗夜骑士》
It came! Our limited-edition, $299 Dark Knight DVD
终于到了我们的299元限♥量♥版《黑暗骑士》DVD
with bonus footage, special commentary,
收录附加花絮评论音轨
and a Christian Bale autograph,
和克里斯蒂安·贝尔的亲笔签名
including a personalized message of up to four words!
还有一个七字的提名赠言
"Abed is Batman now, Christian Bale."
"阿布是蝙蝠侠了克里斯蒂安·贝尔"
It's official. From the man himself.
官方认可了当事人亲口承认
May I have that back, Annie? Thank you.
还给我好吗安妮多谢
And just to clarify, if you see this lying out,
顺便澄清如果你看见这被扔到一边
I'm still using it, so you don't have
并不代表我抛弃了它你也无需
to take it to the kitchen, dump it out, and wash the bowl.
把碟拿到厨房♥扔掉然后去洗碗
Is this about your buttered noodles?
这是暗示我收拾黄油拌面吗
I didn't say that.
我可没说过
Yes! Into your face!
好耶完爆
Your tears reveal your weakness!
哭鼻子弱爆了
What is it with those tools and foosball?
桌上足球那一套有什么好玩的
They've been at it for weeks. I think they're European.
玩了几周都不嫌烦他们估计是欧洲人
It's probably a more important game over there.
欧洲人对这项运动更看重
Foosball's like the soccer of ping-pong.
桌足堪比乒乓界的足球
I can't take it anymore. Oh, Jeffrey, let them be.
生可忍♥熟不可忍♥ 杰夫瑞别跟他们计较
Gentlemen, my name is Clarence Thaddeus Foos.
先生们我叫卓尚球
My grandfather, Fletcher Morton Foos,
我祖父叫卓尚足
invented this game for one purpose--
他当年发明这个游戏不为别的
to have the loudest, dumbest thing happen.
就为了让世界多点喧嚣和二笔
Now it has.
现在这目标实现了
The game of foosball is completed.
桌上足球赛功成身退
You're free to return
你们可以回家了
to your undoubtedly hearing-impaired families.
显然你们家人全有听力障碍
Tell you what, we'll stop playing,
要我们停手可以
if you can score a point on us.
先赢过我们再说
Tempting, but then wouldn't I be playing foosball?
激将法呀那样我不也得玩桌足了吗
And, if so, how would I not be a loud, weird knob?
一旦我也玩上不也就成为吵闹二货了吗
Free shot.
就比射空门
I'm not even touching the foosenschaften.
我先不出必杀技
Sorry, luftballons. I'm above it.
失陪了傻冒我不会中计的
I wish there was a word to describe the pleasure I feel
看到有人当面出丑
at viewing misfortune.
这快♥感♥真是难以言表
'Tis the face of a broken man.
快围观苦逼脸
Jeff. Smile.
杰夫笑一个
They, uh, -- they come in a six-pack.
这货见到帅哥很激动
Buttered noodles.
只收拾黄油拌面
I'm allowed to throw out the dust, right?
掸掸灰总可以吧
Yeah.
上手
What's wrong?
怎么啦
I-I...
我我
Why?
为什么
I stepped on it. Why?
我踩上去了为什么
I was dusting the TV. Why?
我刚才在给电视掸灰为什么
I can run out and get a new one before he gets home.
我可以赶在他回家前跑出去买♥♥套新的
Oh, sure, Annie.
可不是吗安妮
And--and then we just have to record
然后我们只要录制
fake exclusive commentary by Christian Bale.
山寨版克里斯蒂安·贝尔评论音轨就行
Go ahead, you first.
你先试试
This scene was a special challenge
对于相关演职人员这一幕
to all involved Stop it!
无疑极具挑战性够了
That's not a real option!
绝对行不通
The disc is irreplaceably awesome!
这套碟举世无双的
What if we got a different disc, and--
或者我们另买♥♥套碟然后
Annie, do you know how many sitcoms
安妮你知道吗有多少喜剧片
have done the "secretly replace a broken, priceless item" thing?
都用过"无价之宝狸猫换太子"的桥段
'Cause Abed does.
阿布蒂可见多了
Abed knows everything,
阿布蒂无所不知
and I know you think you can think your way out of this
我也知道你以为自己可以凭借小聪明
with your "thinkiness," but don't think too much.
想法脱身但奉劝一句别自作聪明
You just have to confess.
还是老实认错最好
Okay? Okay.
好吗好的
We shot this scene on location--
我们这一幕的拍摄是在
Okay, he's right. It won't work.
他说得对这行不通的
Jeffrey? What--what are you doing?
杰夫瑞你这是干什么
Hmm? Oh.
怎么哦
You know, I just thought...
这个嘛我只是想
Next time those deutsche-bags try to show off,
下次再有德国佬得瑟
maybe I can catch them by surprise.
我好技惊四座镇住他们
Jeff, you don't need to worry what foreigners think about you.
杰夫无需理会外国佬的目光
That's your birthright as an American.
这是你作为美国人与生俱来的特权
Okay...
好吧
Small confession.
小小声承认下
I used to love foosball.
我也一度沉迷桌足
It was a great after-school game
对于一个孤单缺少父爱的男孩
for a lonely kid with no dad--
这是一项很棒的课余活动
you know, just masculine enough
你懂的这活动够男人
without having to know how to throw or catch.
不要求抛球接球技术
I have seen you throw.
我见过你抛球的英姿
And it was fun...
游戏一直很美好
Till I started getting bullied by people like those Germans.
直到我像今天那样被一帮人欺凌
So I quit.
于是我放弃了
Well, you did the right thing.
你做得对
Foosball is a vile game for vile people.
桌足就是给恶人玩的恶俗游戏
Shirley, you wouldn't get it. It's a guy thing.
雪瑞你还是没明白这是男人间的事
It's not a fresh-baked-pie thing.
跟出炉热派可不是一回事
Well, I might get it a little.
好吧我有点明白了
You don't know me.
你还不懂我
Ho...Ly...Crap.
我勒个去
All right, I think I figured out the viewing order--
好吧我大概整明白观看顺序了
original version, director's cut,
原版影片导演剪辑版
director's cut with commentary,
导演评论剪辑版
and then original version cool-down.
再一遍原版影片平静心情
Yeah, we'll see. Mmhmm.
到时看吧嗯
Oh, my God, you guys.
天啊你们终于回来了
We've been robbed!
咱家被打劫了
Oh, man.
亲娘啊
I can't believe we got robbed.
咱家居然被打打劫了
Shirley, Shirley.
雪瑞
You have to teach me.
你必须教教我
Please, help me beat those evil power krauts.
拜托了助我打败那些邪恶的德国棒子
Don't you get it, Jeff?
你还没明白吗杰夫
They're not evil people that are good at foosball.
他们不是擅长桌足的恶人
They are good at foosball because they're evil.
他们因邪恶而擅长桌足
It's an evil game that brings out the worst in us,
这游戏本就邪恶会唤醒人性的黑暗
like--like out-of-town weddings where the reception's
就像境外婚礼的接待会
in the same place as everybody's rooms?
多半都在酒店房♥间搞定