废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E06

Part 2 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:40 a.m.

We hate lesbians, we hate baggy pants,
咱们都痛恨拉拉讨厌垮裆裤
and I can't believe you guys are all Bears fans.
更巧的是你们也是熊队球迷
Super fans. Randall!
超级球迷兰德尔
Somebody take a picture. Come on...
有人来拍照了快摆造型
Okay, now let's take a silly one.
好了下面拍张二♥逼♥青年的
Okay, okay! All right.
好好好行啊
Piercinald Anastasia Hawthorne!
皮尔斯南德·阿纳斯塔西亚·霍桑
Father.
父亲
We need to talk, boy.
有必要谈谈我儿
Gentlemen.
先生们
You are here tonight because you have been selected
今晚来的诸位都已被选为
as potential candidates for the Greendale
格林德尔下属空调维修学院
Air Conditioning Repair School.
潜在候选生
But why kidnap you?
为什么要绑♥架♥你们呢
Why put a sack over your head
为什么要在深更半夜
and drag you here in the middle of the night?
头套麻袋把你们掳过来
Why is there an astronaut in the corner making paninis?
为什么屋角有个宇航员在做铁板三明治
Simple, we don't want you to tell anyone about this.
原因很简单想让你们守口如瓶
And if you do,
就算你们泄密
we don't want them believing you.
也没人会相信
Isn't that right, Black Hitler?
我说的没错吧 "黑特勒"
Your initiation...
入学测试
begins...
现在
now, gentlemen.
正式开始先生们
Hey, guys, I'm looking for Troy.
伙计们我在找特洛伊
Oh, he texted me. He said he's fine,
他给我发短♥信♥了说他没事
but he couldn't say where he is.
但不能报出方位
Oh, no, do you think he's been kidnapped?
坏了你说他是不是被绑♥架♥了
Usually it's one of the parents,
这种情况一般都是父母中的一方下手
and it almost always ends in murder-suicide.
大多数以撕票收场
Why are you smiling? I'm smiling?
你笑什么我有吗
Well if you see him,
如果见到他
tell him Jerry's looking for him.
麻烦转告声杰里来找过
So Jeff, what are you going to wear to Pierce's gay party?
杰夫你准备穿什么去皮尔斯的男同派对
Nothing. Ooh, they'll love that.
什么都不♥穿♥ 哦投其所好
I mean I'm not going.
我的意思是我不去
It's dumb and I can't believe you guys are supporting it.
那派对傻透了不敢相信你们还趋之若鹜
Everybody, this is my father,
介绍一下这是我父亲
Cornelius Hawthorne.
科尼利厄斯·霍桑
Oh, I always assumed your father was dead.
哦我一直以为你♥爸♥早归天了
Just mathematically.
从年龄上推算
Well, mom liked to pretend that was the case.
老妈经常假装如此
These are your friends, Pierce? Hello.
这都是你朋友吗皮尔斯你好
Minorities, jewesses,
少数民族犹太妞
and the unseasonably tan?
还有这位美黑怪蜀黍
That is inappropriate!
太不像话了
And maybe you'll give that more weight since I'm "white".
那对我这位白人就别摆谱了
You've got a wide brow.
你的眉毛挺宽
What are you, scandinavian?
哪里人北欧吗
Yeah, Swedish.
对瑞典人
Swedish dogs.
瑞典狗
Your blood is tainted by generations
世世代代和拉普兰人苟合
of race mixing with Laplanders.
血统都污染殆尽了
You're basically Finns!
你基本上就是个芬兰人
Oh, my goodness, he's like the Abed of racism.
我的天啊毒舌如阿布蒂还种族歧视
Okay, since no one's willing to ask,
好吧我冒死问一句
what's going on with your hair?
您那头假毛怎么回事
Ordinary toupee hair is harvested
一般假发原料
from the heads of the Godless oriental.
都收♥购♥自无神论的东方人
Solid ivory is the only way
只有这种象牙固化假发
to be assured of true follicular purity,
才根正苗红纯洁无污染
while still identifying myself as a man of means.
亦是财富地位的象征
I can excuse racism,
我可以原谅种族歧视
but I draw the line at animal cruelty.
但绝不容忍♥虐待动物
You can excuse racism?
你原谅种族歧视吗
So what brings you here?
您大驾光临有何贵干
I'm assuming it's not for your son's party.
我猜不是来参加儿子的派对吧
Unless "Segregationist Mummy"
难道是我无知 "隔离主义瘪老头"
is a gay fetish I'm unaware of.
也是基佬圣物之一
Actually, uh, after discussing with my father,
实际上跟我父亲讨论之后
the party's off,
派对取消了
And we're canceling pride wipes.
光荣湿巾取消投产
Stand up straight, Piercinald,
挺起腰杆站直了皮尔斯南德
when talking to the lower classes.
面对下层阶级要有范
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find
失陪一下象牙假发告急
a half-decent ivory buffer
我得走进这非黑即白的小镇
in this two-horse town.
寻购备用象牙假发了
Oh, the party's cancelled?
派对就这么取消了吗
I bought a cone bra.
尖角奶罩白买♥♥了
Piercinald, please tell me you did not
皮尔斯南德拜托请告诉我
cancel your gay party because of your father.
你不是害怕老爸的淫♥威♥ 才取消了男同派对
It's a business decision, Jeff.
这是一项商业决策杰夫
I took a look at the numbers, had someone explain them to me,
看了下调研数据听了属下的讲解
and this is the way we're going.
公事公办
I thought you said Pierce's idea was dumb?
谁刚才说皮尔斯主意很蠢来着
Well that's before it was being oppressed by a--
那是刚才现在皮爷被压♥迫♥了
A father? A homophobe!
被谁父亲恐同人士
This isn't about fathers.
别扯上父亲问题
This is about a long-suffering community
事关命运多舛的社区大学
with a constitutional right
对于河蟹何人何事
to wipe whoever and whatever they want.
所拥有的法律自主♥权♥
Well, if you like gay people so much,
这么袒护基佬
why don't you marry them?!
干嘛不找一个嫁了
This is so edible.
真是够贪食啊恋母情结" 继续犯错中]
Britta, you are gonna make a terrible therapist.
布雷塔你当心理医生肯定祸害苍生
And if you need to talk to someone about that,
如果想找位医生聊聊
I don't recommend you.
千万别找自己
Hmm, is that how your dad talked to your mom?
唔你♥爸♥是不是就这样损你妈
No, that's how he talked to your mom.
错我爸喜欢这样损你妈
How does that make you feel?
对这件事你有什么感受
Shut up.
闭嘴
Ah, Jeffrey!
杰夫瑞
Ah, I was so sad when Pierce said
皮尔斯宣布取消派对时
he was canceling the party.
我真是伤心欲绝啊
And I was so happy when you said that it was back on.
你说重新举♥行♥时我真是欢欣鼓舞
Yeah, he's real busy with his dad,
是啊他陪着爸爸分身乏术
but I knew how much it meant to him.
但我知道这个派对对他意义非凡
I throw a pretty gay party, huh?
男同派对组织得不错吧
Yeah, it's great.
没错棒极了
I mean, if you're into that kind of thing.
当然咱不好这一口
Time to mingle.
我去勾搭人了
What the hell is this?
这是什么情况
The gay bash, courtesy of Hawthorne Wipes.
男同狂欢夜霍桑湿巾独家赞助
I cancelled this!
我已经取消了
And I uncancelled it.
我又撤回取消了
My dad's gonna disown me!
我爸爸会跟我断绝关系的
Oh, no, then you'll be free of him forever.
惨了这下你就摆脱老爸专♥制♥了
You'll never have to cower at the sound of his voice
你以后再也不会听到他的声音就畏缩
or shudder when you see an elephant.
或是一看到大象就浑身发抖
You're welcome, Pierce.
不用客气皮尔斯
I just did what you never had the guts to do.
我只是替你这脓包解决了后顾之忧
You know what? Britta was right.
你知道吗布雷塔说得对
You resent my father because
你反感我父亲
you've got problems with your own.
就是因为你与父亲不和
After "Britta was right", everything you said
听到你说布雷塔是对的
just sounded like a fog horn.
真是醍醐灌顶
Then have your big gay party.
尽情享受你的基情派对吧
I'm out of here!
我可不跟你们瞎掺和
Oh, come on, Pierce, just have one drink.
拜托皮尔斯就喝上一杯
You're gonna want to see the guest of honor.
你一定想看看今晚的特邀嘉宾