废柴联盟（2009）
Community
第三季
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废柴联盟（2009）
Community S03E13
Part 1
Oct. 20, 2020, 9:42 a.m.
This is a historical day of Greendale.
今天是格林德尔历史性的一天
This state-of-the-art Subway sandwichery in our cafetorium
举世闻名的赛百味三明治入驻我校食堂
represents Greendale's first steps forward
代表着格林德尔往正规化发展
into the realm of the legitimate!
迈出了第一步
Oh, oh. No problem. You know what?
没事 淡定
I'm just going to get it started with my teeth.
我用牙照样剪彩
The legitimate! Oh. The legitimate!
正规化喔亲 妥妥的正规化
That should be my sandwich shop.
这本该是我的三明治店的
It was my idea to put one there.
这是我的主意
We're here for you, Shirley. Yeah.
我们挺你 雪瑞 没错
Troy, Annie, and I know what it's like to be displaced.
特洛伊安妮和我都知道无家可归的感觉
They're tenting our building for termites,
为了防治白蚁 我们楼被封锁了
so we're homeless.
所以我们无家可归了
I'm staying in the sleep study lab.
我现在住在睡眠研究实验室
All I have to do is wake up every three hours and go--
我只需要每三小时醒来 装成这样
and I get two credits.
就能拿到两个学分
Yeah, and we're going to build
我俩打算在学校里打造
a super awesome pillow fort here at the school.
一个超屌♥的枕头城♥堡♥
Another pillow fort?
又来这个
Kind of repeating yourselves, aren't you?
有点重复自己老路的嫌疑哦亲
That was a blanket fort. This will be a pillow fort.
上次是毯子城♥堡♥ 这次可是枕头城♥堡♥
Way more difficult, way better.
施工难度更大 效果更屌♥
All difficult things are better, like carrying a disease
难度越大的事越屌♥ 例如携带病毒
or holding in a fart right now.
或是现在憋着不放屁
I just found out how Shirley and I are going to take down Subway.
我想到雪瑞我俩怎么能整垮赛百味了
Oh, how? Dean?
应该怎么弄 院长
I assume you're familiar with the Greendale bylaws.
我猜你很熟悉格林德尔校规吧
I am not. Shirley, you do the honors.
真心不熟 雪瑞 麻烦你来
My brain starts getting weird this time of night.
每晚这个时候我就有点脑抽
It's 10:00 am.
现在是上午十点
You're welcome.
我谢你啊
"Any business operating for profit on Greendale's campus
格林德尔校内的任何以盈利为目的的商业
must be at least 51% owned by a registered Greendale student"!
必须有不少于51%的股份由本校学生持有
That's too bad, dean.
这下可糟了 院长
I don't recall seeing Subway
我可记不得在我的绝经前女权后
in my premenopausal, postfeminist experiential marketing class.
体验营销课上见过赛百味同学哦
Actually, I'm on the wait list
实际上 我正在绝前权后体销课的
for the premen/postfem/ex mark. Who are you?
等待名单上 你谁啊你
Gang, meet Greendale's newest student, Subway.
大伙 这是格林德尔的新同学赛百味
Your name is Subway?
你叫赛百味
Yep, using a groundbreaking but surprisingly legal process
对 通过一项开天辟地震惊世界的法律手续
known as corpohumanization, real people such as myself
即公♥司♥拟人化 有血有肉的真人如我
are now allowed to represent the collective humanity
现在获准可以作为企业老板的
of business owners.
集成拟人代表
I have contractually waived my birth identity
我签约废弃了出生时的身份
and am now a man and student named...
现在是一名人类 身份是学生 名为
Subway.
赛百味
I don't believe this.
难以置信
Come on, Subway, there is no way you're 5'10".
拜托赛百味 你怎么可能只有1米78
So you can vote?
那你有公♥投♥权吗
Actually, no, because technically I'm only a week old.
实际上 不行 严格说来我才一周大
But please don't think of me
但请不要认为我
as any less human than yourselves.
比你们缺少人味
I'm here to hang out, take weird classes,
我也是来打发时间 上上无聊的课的
and party as hearty as my morality clause allows.
说实话派对也完全在我道德容许范围之内
Eat fresh? Eat fresh?
新鲜饮食每一天 来一个
Eat fresh. That's my man.
新鲜饮食 真是我的好哥们
Wow, did you know Greendale students
天 你们知道格林德尔的学生
are technically in the army reserves?
严格来说算国防预备役吗
Let's say a little prayer for peace.
让我们为和平祈祷吧
Annie, you've got to get me into this sleep lab.
安妮 你得想办法把我弄进睡眠研究室
I can't think of a better use of my time here
除了陷入无意识状态 我实在想不出
than being unconscious.
消磨学校时光的方法了
It's not a blowoff class, Jeff.
这可不是供你消遣的课 杰夫
We're only allowed to bring one stuffed animal.
我们只准随身带进一件毛绒玩具
I'm bringing Ruthie...
我带的是露丝
but using her pouch to sneak Nathan.
不过利用它的育儿袋把纳森混进去
Well, have fun.
好吧 祝你愉快
Wait, since when do we have lockers?
等等 什么时候起我们有储物柜了
Uh, since registration day, 2009.
自从09年我们注册学籍那天开始
Jeff, did you skip the Preorientation Freshman Welcome
杰夫 你当年是不是根本没参加
Seminar and Diversity Fire Circle?
新生欢迎会和篝火晚会
This explains so much about you.
我可算看透你了
Are you saying I've had a locker here for 2 1/2 years?
你是说两年半以来我一直有个储物柜吗
"Halloween Dance." "Post-Halloween Dance."
万圣节舞会 万圣节后舞会
"Dance Contest."
舞动奇迹
"Contest Dance." Oh, come on.
奇迹舞动 真受不了
What's this? "Save Garrett"? What's wrong with Garrett?
这是啥 拯救加瑞特 加瑞特怎么了
Nothing now. We saved him.
现在没事了 我们已经拯救过了
Wait, that's "Saved" Garrett?
等等 你是说"已经救过"加瑞特吗
Ooh, what's this? Love letter?
瞧瞧这是什么 情书吗
Oh, it's probably one of many.
这种信海了去了
Oh, no. This is a hate letter.
不 这是封吐槽信
What? Let me see that.
啥 让我看看
"Dear Jeff, this might come as a shock
"亲爱的杰夫 对于整日自诩是
"to someone who thinks he's god's gift to the world,
天神下凡的人来说 这或许是晴天霹雳
"but you're actually an inconsiderate jerk.
但你实际上就是个目中无人的混♥蛋♥
Kim."
金姆
"Inconsiderate"? Who's Kim?
目中无人 金姆是谁
I don't know, and clearly she doesn't know me.
不知道 很明显她并不了解我
Gesundheit.
保重
I didn't sneeze.
我才没打喷嚏
Look at these idiots.
看看这些傻缺
Cattle, sheep...
这些蠢牛 笨羊
other animals that travel in herds.
各种成群结队的脑抽牲口
I want to say snakes.
我想说无脑蛇来着
Am I the only person enraged by the fact
只有我一个人为
that corporations are taking human form?
企业以人类形式存在而愤怒吗
I totally predicted this in my high school newspaper column
老娘我早在高中校报专栏里预见这一切了
"Britta Unfiltered."
专栏名叫"布雷塔忒不河蟹"
Unfiltered. I get it. Get what?
不和谐 我懂了 你懂啥了
Actually, maybe Subway taking human form could be its undoing.
实际上赛百味弄这一手很可能是自取灭亡
Uh, Britta...
布雷塔
You're a, uh, progressive woman
你是一位 积极进步
of a more... liberated looseness.
颇为放...开自♥由♥的女性
You could get close to Subway and find out some dirt on him.
你可以接近赛百味 找出点丑闻
Corporate espionage. I like it.
企业间谍 我好这一口
Microphones hidden in lipstick.
口红里藏着麦克风
Lipstick hidden in microphones.
麦克风里藏口红
And the deadliest weapon of them all--
还有最致命最笑傲群雄的名器
The penis flytrap. Okay!
含棒猪笼草 好吧
This conversation is over.
本次谈话到此为止
I am not a whore, and not that I've done the math,
我不是妓♥女♥ 我数学课也没靠美色
But if I were, I'd be the super classy kind
就算我是鸡 姐也是那种坐着飞机
that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.
直飞迪拜入住海底酒店的一代名妓
Abed, Troy. Ah, don't worry, dean.
阿布蒂 特洛伊 别急 院长
We have all the proper permits right here.
我们已获得全部所需的许可权
Oh, silly me!
哎哟我去
This is a coupon for 20% off at Bed Bath & Beyond.
这是家居卫浴商城的八折优♥惠♥券
No need to bribe me, Troy. Actually--
不要贿赂我 特洛伊 其实
There's plenty more where that came from.
这个还有很多
Look, I was just googling record lengths of stuff,
我刚才谷歌♥世界最长记录之类的
and apparently there's a guinness world record
发现居然有一项吉尼斯世界纪录是
for the biggest pillow-- or blanket--fort.
最大的枕头或毯子城♥堡♥
So you boys-- you should go for it.
你们应该冲击一下嘛
Put this school on the map.
给咱们学校扬扬名
We'd have a better chance of setting the record
要是弄毯子城♥堡♥ 咱们胜算比较大
if we made this a blanket fort, you know, take less time.
毕竟那样进度比较快嘛
We wanted to make a pillow fort.
但我们想建的是枕头城♥堡♥
I don't want to sacrifice quality for square footage.
我不想为了贪大而损了质量
废柴联盟（2009）
Community
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