废柴联盟（2009）

Community S05E01

Part 1 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:15 p.m.

I am the system.
我就是主宰
I consume humanity.
我统治人类
There is no escape.
全部都要顺从我
Objection!
我抗♥议♥
** Jeff Winger, hero at law *
*杰夫·翁格司法英雄
** Best lawyer you ever saw *
*最屌♥的律师
** Hero to freedom, defender of liberty *
*自♥由♥的英雄解放的卫士
** South of the forty on Lincoln *
*林肯大厦南栋四十层
** You park for free, Jeff!*
*免费停车就是杰夫君
Are you a good person being sued, oppressed, or beaten?
你是被起诉被压♥迫♥ 甚至败诉的无辜民众吗
I can help,
我能帮你
and that's the Winger guarantee.
这是翁格的承诺
Call 555-her...
请拨三个五加...
Maybe you should've spent less money on special effect
或许你该在特效上少烧点钱的
Thanks a lot, Francis Ford Repo Man.
多谢建议大导演兼重生男人
Jeff Winger!
杰夫·翁格
** Loser at law *
*司法败犬
** Rented office in a mini mall *
*小商场里租门面
Relax, tango. I come in peace.
淡定我并无恶意
Way I see it, I screwed you.
如我所见我出♥卖♥♥♥过你
I got screwed back.
你也耍了我
Now we can bygone the bygones,
现在让咱们一笑泯恩仇
Because I got a juicy new client and a bone to throw you.
我找到了多金新客户和施舍给你的肥差
You hear about that bridge that collapsed upstate?
你听说过州北那座倒塌的桥没
A human could've said that without salivating.
我才不会向你摇尾乞怜要这个案子
I represent Marvin Humphries, the engineer who designed it.
我代表是设计大桥的工程师马文·汉弗莱斯
He wants to seek damages.
他想要索赔
From what? His own pencil?
向谁索赔他自己的笔吗
From the only school reckless enough
向那个授予他工程学位的
to give him a degree in Engineering.
操蛋学校索赔
City-funded school,
那是所市立学校
deep government pockets.
享用着政♥府♥的油水
Maybe you've heard of it.
也许你早就听过这所学校了
Greendale Community College.
格林德尔社区大学
Weird choice, by the way,
顺带一提
the bachelor's degree on the wall.
挂着这个学位证真是略显奇葩
So you're gonna sue my old school
就是说你打算要起诉我的母校
and you're bothering to tell me?
你还特意地跑来告诉我是吗
You have access there.
你有办法混进去
I need Marvin's records to prove
我需要马文的档案来证明
that he was irresponsibly educated.
他接受的是不负责任的教育
Well, why don't you just subpoena?
那你干吗不直接开张传票
Right, so they can have a shredding party.
没错那他们就会毁灭证据
See, that's the difference between you and Greendale, Alan.
这就是你和格林德尔的不同艾伦
They wouldn't shred evidence.
他们才不会毁灭证据
It's a good place for good people.
那是一个满是纯良之人的善良之地
It's a diploma mill.
它就是所野鸡大学
It turns idiots into bridge-collapsers.
它把白♥痴♥教成了垮桥大♥师♥
And Jeff Winger into an attorney
把杰夫·翁格教成了
that thought he could help people?
自以为能助人为乐的律师
Jeff, I once saw you convince an arson victim
杰夫我曾见你证明一起纵火案的受害者
that he liked his house better burned.
其实想让自己的房♥子烧得更彻底
God, look what that school did to you.
老天看看这破学校都对你干了什么
It took all your money. It took four years of your life.
花光了你的钱浪费了你四年的光阴
And worst of all,
最糟的是
It took your Winger moves.
它磨掉了你翁格专属的手段
I still got my Winger moves.
我那犀利的手段仍在
Prove it. Get me Humphries' records.
证明给我看把汉弗莱斯的档案拿来
Because the next bone you get thrown
搞不好下一次的肥差
might be through a dude's zipper in the Warehouse District,
会从仓库区某个老兄的拉链里掏出来哟
and I can't guarantee you it'll be from me.
我可不敢保证是我赏赐给你的
Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless,
听着我或许已经山穷水尽无家可归
but I still got one thing deep down inside
但我内心深处还有一样东西
that gives me power... that was it.
它能给予我力量就是它
That was all I had.
我曾经的全部身家
Welcome back, human beings.
欢迎返校「人类」同学们
Dean Pelton here, wishing you another magic year at Greendale,
派尔顿院长祝你在格林德尔度过酷炫的一年
Ranked America's number two community college
我校是全美排行第二的社区大学
by greendalecommunitycollege.com.
该排名由格林德尔社区大学网评定
Regarding the recent tragedy surrounding
由于最近发生的桥梁垮塌
a certain collapsed bridge,
这样一件惨案
We will be observing a moment of silence on the quad
我校将在广场上进行默哀
followed by four years of silence to the press.
并以沉默来应对各家媒体
I told you you'd be back.
我就说你肯定会回来的
Shut up, Leonard. I'm not here.
闭嘴伦纳德我并不存在
I'm just a figment of your creeping dementia.
我只是你老年痴呆产生的幻象
How would I go about getting records for certain alumni?
我要如何才能拿到某位毕业生的档案呢
Why would you think a stranger
你凭啥觉得一个陌生人
could just walk in here and do that?
能轻描淡写走进来就拿走档案呢
You're, uh, Rita. Rhonda.
你是瑞塔朗达
I've always regretted not telling you
我一直后悔没有告诉你
how much you remind me of my aunt.
你真的好像我姑妈
It's more disarming than it sounds.
听起来不怎么样
I have a very attractive aunt.
但其实我姑妈非常有魅力
Rhonda, why are you wearing Jeff Winger's...
朗达你为什么穿着杰夫·翁格的
Jeffrey.
杰夫瑞
Are you, uh, looking for your friends?
你是来找你的小伙伴们的吗
They don't go here anymore.
他们都不在这里了哦
Maybe you're looking for something
也许你是来找寻
that was in front of you the whole time, just a pitch.
一直摆在你面前的东西调有点高
He's asking for records for a certain alumni.
他要看档案某位毕业生的
In the midst of all this Marvin Humphries business,
关于马文·汉弗莱斯的案子
I doubt this is a coincidence.
我怀疑它是老天的安排
You're here to save me, aren't you?
你是来解救我的是吗
Yes.
没错
I thought I might contact alumni to form a committee:
我想我可以联♥系♥校友们组建一个委员会
The Save Greendale Committee.
「拯救格林德尔委员会」
Working title.
名称暂定如此
Jeffrey, I'm gonna cry.
杰夫瑞人家要哭了
Please don't. Request denied.
不要这样人家就要
Rhonda will let you in the records room.
朗达会让你进档案室
It's actually your old study room.
其实就是你们以前的学习室
After you and your friends left,
你和你的小伙伴们毕业以后
it was closed for sentimental reasons.
它曾经关闭了一段时间以免触景伤情
And asbestos reasons, but it's clean as a whistle now.
以及石棉的原因但现在已经焕然一新
"Harassment reports,"
烦人的报道
"Hazardous waste citations,"
有害垃圾引用
"Herpes comma water fountains."
疱疹逗号♥ 饮水机
Come on. Where's Humphries?
拜托汉弗莱斯的档案在哪
I see your value now.
我看到了你的价值所在
Abed, why? "I see your value now."
啥阿布蒂我看到了你的价值
It's a callback to when we met first season.
这是呼应我们第一季见面的那一刻
And me calling years "seasons" is a callback
我把年叫成「季」也是呼应
to my first season dialogue, and me calling...
我在第一季的讲话还有...
Abed, I know what makes you off-putting,
阿布蒂我知道问这个会扫你的兴
but why are you here?
不过为啥你会在这
The dean called me about the Save Greendale Committee.
院长告诉了我「拯救格林德尔委员会」的事
Can I join? Well, I...
能算我一个么这个...我
Oh, no. Who else did he call?
糟了他还给谁打电♥话♥了
Just me. I called everyone else.
只有我然后我告诉了大家
Jeffery!
杰夫瑞
Jeff!
杰夫
Is that cool?
酷不酷
It's the coolest.
真是酷毙了
Jeff, if you wanted to save Greendale,
杰夫如果你想救格林德尔
why didn't you call us first?
怎么不先给我们打电♥话♥呢
Well, you guys just got sprung from this joint,
你们不是刚从这魔窟里解放出来嘛
And I figured you had careers to get started.
我觉得你们都要开始找工作什么的
Yeah, working hard. Ah, yes.
是啊努力工作对哦
What have they done to our home?
他们对我们的家做了什么啊