废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E16

Part 2 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:42 a.m.

I'm able to simulate any of the study group
由此我可以模拟学习小组任何一个成员
And even a half-accurate Chang in over 7,000 unique situations.
甚至包括7000种特殊场景下的半真昌
Abed, it's cardboard tubes and a funnel.
阿布蒂这就是纸板做的管道和漏斗
Well you see it that way because it's calibrated
只有脑力达标的人才能看到本质
to a specific level of brain function.
所以你只能看到表象
Right. I'm stupid.
对我就是蠢
Not stupid, just less able to see what I see.
不是蠢就是没我看得深远
Gee, you've got it all figured out.
就你最明白
King of toilet paper rolls over here.
你可真成了厕纸之王了
Hey, Troy, I'm glad you called.
特洛伊真高兴你打来电♥话♥
Your lunch is going well, right?
饭吃得还好吧
Yeah, just checking on Abed.
还好我就问问阿布蒂的情况
Making sure he's okay.
他还好吧
What? He's fine.
什么他挺好的
He just implied I operate on a lower level
就是拐弯抹角地说我脑力不足
of brain function, so business as usual.
表现不力之类的跟平时一样
Great, um, just, you know, make sure he stays comfortable.
好吧你好好照顾他
I worry about him when I'm not around.
我不在就怕他出状况
Well, he's fine, he always will be.
他挺好他能不好吗
People bend over backwards to cater to him.
谁都得对他卑躬屈膝
He's just extra sensitive in the Dreamatorium.
他把幻梦空间看得很重
It takes a lot out of him to run that thing.
费了他不少心思
I don't want you to break his brain.
你可别把他搞崩坏了
Bye, Troy.
挂了特洛伊
How is he?
他怎么样
He'll be okay.
没事
It's so sweet how much you care about him.
你这么关心他真是贴心
And another thing I hate about Die Hard,
我又想起《虎胆龙威》一个槽点
Two FBI agents named Johnson
居然俩FBI探员都叫约翰逊
I've been thinking about our Inspector Spacetime scenario.
关于《时空探长》的演绎我想了下
It might work better if instead of playing Geneva,
要是你不演吉内瓦而是演罗莎蒙德
you played Rosamund.
说不定就能行
She was a constable in season five
她是第五季里出现的警官
and she only had three lines.
而且只有三句台词
I have a better idea.
我有更好的主意
You know what would make your scenarios a lot more realistic?
你知道怎么能让戏更贴近生活吗
If Troy weren't on a date.
特洛伊没出去约会就好了
Why don't you take all your thoughts
你可以保留你所有的想法和逻辑
and your logic and add one step to the process.
不过要加上一个步骤
What are you doing? From now on,
你干嘛从现在起
before you do or say anything,
不管你打算说什么做什么
you're gonna think about how it affects the people around you.
都要先考虑对周围人可能造成的影响
We lower functioning brains call this "Empathy".
我们这种脑力不足的人称之为"体恤他人"
Abed?
阿布蒂
Abed?
阿布蒂
Oh, my god, I broke Abed.
完了阿布蒂被我搞崩坏了
Abed?
阿布蒂
You know how you wanted me to tell you
还记得吗你以前求过我
when you were being scary weird
一旦你不再怪得可爱而是怪得吓人
instead of cute weird?
就要提醒你
This is scary weird.
这就算是怪得吓人了
Hello, Annie.
你好安妮
What was I doing on the floor?
我刚才怎么躺在地上了
Were we...Doing it?
我们在...啪啪啪吗
Are you being Jeff?
你在学杰夫吗
Well, I'm not being a Kardashian.
反正我没在学卡戴珊
So where are we now?
现在场景是哪里
We're in the doctor's lounge of Greendale hospital school.
格林德尔医学院医生休息室
Hospital school?
医学院
It's a sexy emotional school
是一所性感暧昧的学校
where doctors save lives and make love,
医生在此妙手回春颠鸾倒凤
Often simultaneously.
通常二者兼顾哦
Our stories, ripped from the headlines.
我们的故事占据头条
Our passions, unbridled.
我们的激♥情♥ 恣意放纵
Our cafeteria, eh...
我们的咖啡厅
Make love to me, Ann.
献身于我吧安
I know I'm just a surgeon
我知道我只是个外科医生
and you're a hotshot upstart administrator,
而你是正处事业上升期的院长
But damn the rules, damn the system,
可去他的狗屁规定狗血体制完蛋去
damn our two foot height disparity,
你我之间两英尺的身高差也见鬼去
I want you.
我想要你
Okay, Abed, I get it,
行了阿布蒂懂你意思了
we have different sensibilities.
咱俩对体恤的定义不一样
Later.
回见
Bye.
再见
I'm leaving.
我走了
Okay, Dr. Jeff,
好吧杰夫医生
Can you please tell me where I can find Abed?
请问你知道阿布蒂在哪吗
I owe him an apology.
我要向他道歉
Abed? Never heard of him.
阿布蒂没听说过
Terrific.
好嘛
I asked you a question, doctor.
我问你问题呢医生
I'm a surgeon!
我是外科医生
And I'm your administrator!
我是你的院长
I left my wife for you and she was pregnant!
我为了你抛弃发妻她当时还怀着孕呢
Who do you think inseminated her?
又是谁叫她怀上的
Now tell me what I want to know or god as my witness,
立即回答我的问题否则黄天在上
I'll have your stethoscope.
姐立即没收你的听诊器
Fine.
算你狠
Dr. Perry might know.
派利医生可能知道
Render environment bio lab.
环境渲染生物实验室
Look, there's Britta and Troy fooling around with each other.
看那布雷塔和特洛伊正在瞎搞呢
Look, there's Abed having overcome his issues.
看那阿布蒂已经恢复了
Nice try.
没用啦
Dr. Barnes, Dr. Perry.
巴恩斯医生派利医生
We just saved an uninsured homeless man's life.
我们刚挽救了一名流浪汉的生命
Using an unapproved procedure.
采用了一种未获批准的手术
Now, we're going to kiss.
现在我们要接吻了
This is what you think I want?
你以为我是来看这个的吗
What do you want, administrator?
那你想看什么院长大人
I want to talk to Abed.
我想跟阿布蒂说话
There's no one here by that name
这里没这个人
You're lying. Maybe I am, so what?
你说谎也许吧你又能怎样
I was raised on the mean streets of harlem.
我可是黑人区里混大的
I'm not scared of you.
才不怕你
Well, be scared of this.
那你瞧好吧
Sodium pentothal, known commonly as truth serum.
硫喷妥钠俗称吐真剂
I saw Abed's name in the hospital school files,
我在医学院档案里见过阿布蒂的名字
I love butt stuff, I hate spiders,
我有恋臀癖讨厌蜘蛛
I stole a pen from the bank,
从银行偷过一支笔
I cried during About A Boy... The soundtrack...
看《单亲插班生》时我痛哭流涕那配乐
I don't wash my hands before surgery.
我做手术前不洗手
I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point
我知道克里夫·欧文让女人着迷的原因
where I might just as well be attracted to him.
我也因为同样的原因迷恋他
I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet
为了在网上掐架获胜我动不动就拿出
at the drop of a hat.
希♥特♥勒♥做比喻
I know nothing about wine.
我对酒一窍不通
I'm more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie.
穿睡衣的女性比穿内衣的更让我性致勃勃
I just want to know they feel comfortable.
我只想让她们穿得舒适而已
I didn't get Inception.
我没看懂《盗梦空间》
I didn't get Inception.
我没看懂《盗梦空间》
You said you saw his name in the files.
你说在档案里看到过他的名字
There's so many layers.
好多页呢
Right, render environment medical study room.
对环境渲染医学院自习室
There's head nurse, Shirley,
护士长雪瑞
talking to tragic, heart-wrenching alzheimer's Patient
正在跟悲痛欲绝的老年痴呆病患
and emmy-contender, Pierce Hawthorne.
兼艾美奖提名者皮尔斯·霍桑说话
Mr. Hawthorne, you're out of your bed again.
霍桑先生你又下床了
'Cause I think I'm on a train.
我以为在火车上呢
Shirley, get me the file on Abed.
雪瑞帮我把阿布蒂的档案找出来