废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E14

Part 4 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:42 a.m.

to the cafeteria.
进攻食堂
They arrive at the same time
100名枕头城的士兵
as 100 pillowtown troops.
几乎同时到达战场
Just after dawn, the end of the war begins.
夕阳西下生死搏杀开始了
Big cheddar coming!
吃老娘一击
Aah! Okay, I'm out.
打中了我死了我死了
Okay I am dead.
别打了我死了
Well, that's it.
闹够了
I just heard from the guinness rep.
我刚从吉尼斯纪录代表那儿得知
He's not coming.
他不来了
He's been fired, in what he described
他被解雇了用他的话说
as the world's biggest mistake.
简直是天下之最大谬误
I doubt that will make the next edition.
我估计也没下文了
Anyway, it's over.
啥也别说了都撤了吧
What a colossal waste of 2 1/2 days.
这2.5天全白费了
The war has no more reason to continue,
战争没有理由再进行下去了
And yet it does between the two that began it.
但是两位发起者却不愿停止
They just kept fighting.
他们就那么一直打啊
Like, for hours.
打了N个小时
Come on, guys. Let's wrap this up.
行了伙计们咱们来解决这件事儿吧
I don't want to.
我不想
Me neither. Why not?
我也不想为什么啊
This is going to be the last thing we ever do together.
这将是我们俩一起做的最后一件事了
We can't stop.
所以我们不能停
Doesn't that kind of solve your problem?
这不正好解决了你们俩的问题吗
The realization that you like each other so much,
你们俩都意识到还深深地爱着对方啊
you'd hit each other with pillows forever?
你们总不能拿着枕头打对方一辈子吧
Knowing that doesn't feel like enough anymore.
知道这一点还不够解决我俩的问题
Yeah. We're grown-ups now.
对我俩现在都是成年身
We have grown-up problems.
我们也有了成长的烦恼
That's very clear.
这倒是
Unless...
除非
You use those magical friendship hats that I got for you.
你们可以用我给你做的神奇友谊帽啊
We're not stupid, Jeffrey.
杰夫瑞我们又不傻
We know you made those sarcastically.
我们知道你做那玩意儿是为了嘲笑我们
And I will roll my eyes at both of you when I put them on your heads
我给你们戴帽子的时候还翻你们俩白眼儿呢
because that's the way I am.
因为我生来如此
But that's not the way you have to be.
但你们不用也像我一样世俗
We might be interested.
给我们戴帽子吧
Okay, then.
好那么
Here's your magical friendship hat, and--
这是你的神奇友谊帽
Jeff. What?
杰夫怎么了
You left the magical friendship hats
你把神奇友谊帽
at the dean's office.
落在院长办公室了
Of course. I'll go get them.
好吧我这就去取来
So Jeff went out,
杰夫跑了出去
and he stayed out long enough to make them believe
在外面呆了一会儿时间足够使他们相信
He had gone back to the office.
他确实去了院长办公室取帽子
That was a nice touch.
真的好感人
There you go.
这是你的
Lucky no one grabbed them, huh?
幸好没人把他们拿走
Britta perry is there to immortalize
布雷塔·派利让这一幕
The moment on film...
永远定格在了胶片上
Accidentally while trying to get a picture of the light
其实是她在拍旁边华夫饼的时候
hitting a stack of nearby waffles.
不经意间抓拍到的
Pierce, take that off.
皮尔斯赶紧把那身儿脱了吧
I can't hear you! Your cheeks are in the way.
我听不见你说什么你们的脸太碍事了
First entry in my stupid journal.
我愚蠢日记的第一篇
Today I had to run and get two imaginary friendship hats
今天我必须跑到院长办公室去拿想象中
from an office.
那两顶友谊帽
I could've just walked around the corner
我本可以在走廊里绕两圈
and the come back, but for some reason,
就直接回去但不知道怎么回事
I actually went all the way back
我确实跑回了
to where they were supposed to be.
院长办公室
One was crumpled up a bit. That was Troy's.
一顶有点儿折皱那肯定是特洛伊的
The other was just a little dusty. That was abed's.
另一顶落了些尘土应该是阿布蒂的
I fixed them up even though I was the only one watching
我把它们整理好尽管只有我一个人在看
because I settled on a truth today
因为我今天明白了一个真理
That's always going to be true.
一个亘古不变的真理
I would do anything for my friends,
我会为我的朋友做任何事
which I think is how everyone in the world feels,
这让我了解世人的感受
which finally makes me understand war.
让我最终明白了战争的真谛
Guys...
好朋友们
I wasn't going to show this to anyone,
我不会给任何人看的
but, uh, it's pretty profound.
因为这太深邃了
I kind of nailed it.
但我搞定了
If you want, I can read it in the documentary.
如果你想知道我会在纪录片里面读出来
That is, unless you get Tom Hanks.
当然你得找来汤姆·汉克斯来读旁白
We tried to get Tom Hanks,
我们跟他联♥系♥过
but he's too expensive.
但他要价太高
So we used the people involved for their own voiceover.
所以我们就请当事人给自己做画外音了
Yeah, and I nailed that too.
没错我也搞定这个了
Why are you here at the same time as me?
你怎么又扮演你又扮演我啊
Tight schedule.
时间紧任务重啊
Hey, were you in the cape? No.
你穿着斗篷吗没
I've got goosebumps.
看得我都起鸡皮疙瘩了
Me too. Such a great story.
我也是多好的剧情啊
I was on the edge of my seat, and I was in it.
丝丝入扣我完全被带入进去了
You want to know what struck me while I was watching
你知道我在看这部精彩绝伦的纪录片时
that marvelous documentary?
什么最触动我吗
You can't get quality programming like that
你在别处根本找不到这么高质量的纪录片
anywhere else but right here on Greendale Campus Television.
只有格林德尔校园电视台才有
Just thinking that same thing.
我也是这么觉得的
You can't get
在别的台你不可能看到
Troy and Abed: Pillows and blankets.
《特洛伊和阿布蒂枕头与毯子》
Or any of these other great specials,
或者其他精彩的特别篇
Like Craig Pelton: A year in Paris.
比如《克拉格·派尔顿巴黎一年》
From labs to riches: The Annie's boobs story
《从屌♥丝到高富帅安妮的胸器轶事》
Or That's Enter-Chang-Ment.
或《娱乐之昌》
Folks, we know you hate these constant pledge drives.
观众朋友们我知道你们讨厌一成不变的生活
We know you hate them. We don't love doing them.
我们知道你们讨厌我们也不喜欢
We don't like doing them either.
我们也不喜欢
I'd rather be at home right now.
或许我现在应该在家里
Okay, taking a warm bath with my wife.
和我心爱的老婆好好泡个热水澡
Old brother, not doing this again.
老兄差不多得了
But if you want to help us out,
如果你想帮我们
you want to help Greendale campus televison stay on the air.
你还想让格林德尔校园电视台继续播出的话
Keep the lines on.
猛打电♥话♥吧
We are this closely to lose our
我们马上就要失去我们的