废柴联盟（2009）

Community S04E01

Part 1 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:48 a.m.

Troy and Abed back from summer.
特洛伊和阿布蒂夏日归来
Wait a minute. Something's changed.
等等好像有变化
Oh, there's 12 additional thumb tacks on that board.
那块板子上多了12枚图钉
They're driving me crazy.
真让我抓狂
No, I meant this. Trying out the hipster look.
不我是说这个看我潮男七十二变
It's cool, but also not.
这很潮但也不算潮
Hey, guys, have a good summer?
少年们暑假过得好吗
Take them off.
速度摘下来
Happy first day of school.
开学第一天快乐
Good morning. I brought brownies.
早上好我带了巧克力蛋糕
Congratulations, it's me.
恭喜是我
Huh, I see we've all reinvented ourselves over the summer.
看来过了个夏天大家都焕然一新了
A little late to the hipster party much?
开潮流派对吗我来得是不是有点晚
A little much on the much much?
您的"有点"还真不是一般的"点儿"
We should get to class? Where's Pierce?
我们该上课了皮尔斯在哪
Hey-o!
唷吼
Sorry, I'm late.
不好意思我迟到了
Damn Mexican cleaning woman did a cha-cha on my glasses,
该死的墨西哥清洁女工在我眼镜上跳恰恰舞
so I got to wear this old pair.
所以我只能戴这副旧的了
Abed. Abed.
阿布蒂阿布蒂
Abed. Yup.
阿布蒂在
Did you go to your happy place? Yeah.
你到达"快乐园"了吗是的
Did you envision a babbling brook like I described?
你见到我描述的小溪流水了吗
I started out with a babbling brook,
我一开始的确看到了小溪流水
but then I layered in elements from our world.
但之后我以现实世界的元素进行分层
I'm sure fans of the babbling brook will complain,
喜欢"消息流言"的人肯定会有所不满
but I thought that was limiting.
但我觉得那样太局限了
Well, it's best to keep it simple.
别搞那么复杂
It was a babbling brook. Okay.
我看到了小溪流水很好
Here's the deal, Jessica Biel.
我们这样吧杰西卡·贝尔[影星]
The first day of senior year is emotional for everyone,
大四的第一天大家都会感慨万分
so I hereby therapize you to go to your happy place
只要你感觉紧张我便对你施以心理治疗
whenever you feel stressed.
助你一路到达"快乐老家"
I found my lucky notebook.
我找到我的幸运笔记本了
Found my lucky charm.
我找到我的"幸运符"麦片了
Abed, you ready for our last first day of school?
阿布蒂准备好最后一年开学首日了吗
Are you ready, buddy?
准备好了吗伙计
I just need a minute.
给我一分钟
** This is my show *
*我的节目我做主
** It's about me *
*节目内容
** And all my friends on Abed TV *
*我和朋友们的二三事就在阿布TV
** My happy place, nothing but fun *
*我的快乐小世界只见欢乐满天下
** Nothing but laughs and smiles and then we rerun *
*欢声笑语无止尽笑语欢声不停歇
** For those times when life's too hard to face *
*操蛋人生浑不怕
** I'll find some happy in my happy place *
*我在乐园笑哈哈
Abed's Happy Community College Show is
《阿布蒂废柴联盟欢乐秀》
filmed before a live audience inside of my head.
现场摄制于本人脑内剧场观众席前
I can't believe we're finally getting into this class.
真不敢相信我们终于能上这门课了
I can't believe there's a class called
我也不敢相信居然有门课叫
"The History of Ice Cream."
《冰激凌史》
Seniors!
大四生
There they are.
大家都在呢
Seniors!
大四生
Oh, speaking of seniors,
说到大四生
I've decided I'm going to do senioritis this year.
我决定今年要做毕业倦怠生
You know, just hangin' out and blowin' off classes,
就是在外面闲逛翘个课
pullin' pranks, not sayin' my "G"s.
整整蛊绝口不发G音
Ooh, I'll pull some pranks with you.
那我要和你一起整蛊
Okay. Or Jeff or whoever. You know,
行啊其实和杰夫或其他人都行
whoever's around. Whatever.
周围的人就行无所谓
So, Abed, after class, we're still doing our
阿布蒂下课后我们还会继续
firstdayofschool tradition, right? You know it.
开学首日的传统吧必须的
We like to make wishes in the fountain.
我们喜欢在许愿池旁许愿
Fellas, I hate to tell you, wishes aren't real.
少年们实不相瞒愿望都不是真的
If you want something bad, you have to work for it.
如果你特想要什么就得自己努力争取
Or use a spell.
念咒语也行
All of our wishes come true.
我们所有愿望都实现了
Last year, Troy wished
去年特洛伊希望
we got Bin Laden and the Dorito Taco.
我们搞定本·拉♥登♥和"多乐脆"玉米卷
Yeah, but Obama got credit for both.
是啊但功劳全都让奥巴马抢去了
Could you wish for Jeff to be on time for once?
你们能许愿让杰夫按时到一次吗
No. No wasting wishes on impossibilities.
不能愿望绝不浪费在不可能实现的事上
We have to make this year count,
我们得慎重考虑今年的愿望
especially since it's the last one.
特别是今年是最后一年了
Oh, no, is all this for "The History of Ice Cream"?
不是吧他们都是来上《冰激凌史》的吗
They overbooked it, so it's first come, first serve now.
选课人数超员了现在是先到先得
Oh, just like real ice cream.
就像抢真正的冰激凌一样
Guys, over here!
伙计们这边
Oh, Jeffery.
杰夫瑞
Jeff, I can't believe that you came early.
杰夫真不敢相信你竟然早到了
Don't you read Gary's Twitter feed?
你们没看加里的推特微博吗
He posted a crisis alert about it.
他发布了一条关于本科目的危机警报
I came early to save seats.
我早到是来占座的
Oh, you know what, girls,
知道吗姑娘们
I gave you the old flyer.
我给你们的传♥单♥已经过期了
"Instagram for besties" is in room 44.
《闺蜜自♥拍♥共享》课在44教室
Showing up early, helping others, sending girls away?
提早到校帮助别人屏退妹子
Could this be a whole new Jeff Winger?
这算是全新的杰夫·翁格吗
Don't ruin it by approving it.
别想求真♥相♥ 容易死得快
Oh, so that's progressed.
进展挺快嘛
I mean, it's progressed,
是有进展啦
but it hasn't progressed-progressed. It's progressive.
但进展尚在进展不断进步提升
Good luck, Troy.
祝你好运特洛伊
You can't just walk in here!
你们不能就这么走进来
I've been pissing in jars for an hour.
我一直靠在罐子里撒尿坚持了一小时
Trying to keep this seat.
只为了保住这个座位
All right, all right.
好了好了静一静
All right. Simmer dean.
安静冷"院"一下
This can't be good. He's dressed as himself.
大事不妙他这次居然本色出场了
Greendale's registration system has been hacked.
格林德尔的报名系统被黑了
That's right. Someone hacked into the supply closet
没错有人非法侵入储物柜
and counterfeited these
伪造了这些
"History of ice cream" admission cards.
《冰激凌史》课申报卡
Whoever did this is very good.
不管谁做的干得漂亮
There is only one fair way to solve this. So...
这件事要公平解决只有一个方法所以
follow me to...
请跟我来
The Hunger Deans!
"饥饿院长"
Thank you. Thank you.
谢谢谢谢
There are 35 tests of strength and agility.
有35项关于体能与敏捷性的试炼
The winner of each one of these contests
每项测试的胜者
will be awarded a red rubber ball.
都会得到一个红橡皮蛋蛋作为奖品
No ball, no ice cream.
无蛋无《冰激凌史》课
And these are impossible to counterfeit
而且这些蛋是伪造不出来的
because each one has been marked by my distinct bite print.
因为每个蛋都有我独特的咬痕
Guys, we need to take this class.
伙计们我们得修这门课
It's the only history credit this semester.
这是这学期唯一一门历史学分
Whatevs. We'll take it next semes.
管它呢咱们等下个学"基"咯
Ter. Semester.
期学期
But I need it now.
但我现在就得修
Okay, I took some extra classes online,
好吧我修了几门在线课程
and I'm one history credit away from graduating.
现在只要一个历史学分就能毕业了
Jeff, you're graduating early?
杰夫你要提早毕业
Well, graduating after 30 can't be characterized as early.
30多岁才毕业可不算早
When were you gonna tell us, Jeff?
那你打算什么时候告诉我们杰夫
I was working on a speech.
我在准备告别致辞
And, believe me, it tied in a lot of things.
相信我内容丰富感情饱满
There was a lot of resolutions and epiphanies.
充满了无尽的决心和各种顿悟
And it would have gone down a lot better
等大家一起上完冰激凌课以后再听
after we had taken the ice cream class together.
感情上会更容易接受一点
So that's why you were holding our seats?
原来是因为这个才给我们占座啊