废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E17

Part 4 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:42 a.m.

Tell me, Todd,
告诉我托德
do you consider yourself a hero?
你是不是觉得自己是英雄
Oh, no.
没有
Of course not.
当然没有了
A hero doesn't call himself a hero.
英雄从不自称是英雄
A hero gets called a hero because of what he does.
英雄是因自己所做的事情而被颂为英雄
And with your impressive record,
而鉴于你这辉煌的成就
not even I could deny you the title.
就连我都无法否定您的伟大头衔
Objection, she's clearly ramping up to something.
反对她明显是在激将
Objection, that's not a real objection.
反对刚才的反对算不上真正的反对
Objection, I hate the both of you.
反对你俩都招人厌
You may proceed, Ms. Edison, but do so with caution.
继续埃迪生女士但请谨慎用词
Need I remind you this is not a courtroom?
需要我提醒你这里并非是法庭
I spent the majority of last night
昨天我和翁格先生一同耗费大半个晚上
going over your records with Mr. Winger,
浏览研究了你的档案
scouring them for the slightest mistake, the tiniest slip up.
细细查寻最轻微的错误或最细小的纰漏
And I gotta tell you, Todd. Couldn't find a thing.
但是我要告诉你托德半分也没有
Not one little smudge.
毫无瑕疵
Except, of course, for one pesky yam that just wouldn't grow.
只除了一株讨厌的番薯没长成
That had to weigh on your soul, didn't it, Todd?
这件事肯定让你大受打击吧托德
Maybe a little. A little?
有一点儿一点儿
A big orange splotch on your perfect record?
完美的履历中出现了如此刺眼的污点
I bet that pissed you right off, didn't it?
我打赌你肯定气疯了是吧
Is that why you hit your wife?
因此你才会殴打你的妻子对吗
Withdrawn.
收回
Is that why you drink and pop pills?
因此你才会酗酒又嗑药对吧
Withdrawn.
收回
Are you a virgin? Withdrawn.
你是处♥男♥吗收回
Did you...
你有没有
Kill our yam to settle the score, huh?
杀死我们的番薯以泄私愤
Did stomping on its roots make you feel like a big man?
狠狠碾压它的根须想必让你很有成就感吧
No, it didn't.
才不是呢
I mean, I didn't--
我是说我没有
Todd, zip it.
托德闭嘴
No, you zip it, uncle Knobby.
不要你闭嘴木疙瘩叔叔
I'm not fighting your wars anymore.
我已经不再是给你卖♥♥命打仗的小兵了
Listen to me, Todd.
听我说托德
I know how scary a failing grade can be,
我知道不及格的感觉很恐怖
but this one dead yam won't tarnish your record.
但这株死番薯并不会让你的履历蒙受污点
What will tarnish it is lying to your class,
真正让你蒙污的是欺骗你的同学
to your teacher, and to me.
欺骗你的老师欺骗我
The American citizen you've sworn to protect.
欺骗我们这些你曾宣誓效忠的美国公民
Come on, Todd.
勇敢起来托德
Stop disappointing me.
别再让我对你失望
Defuse the IED of dishonesty.
拆解掉这不诚之炸♥弹♥吧
It was an accident.
那只是个意外
I just wanted to look at your yam,
我只是想看看你们的番薯
but when I picked up the jar, it burnt me and I dropped it.
但拿起水罐却被烫了一下所以掉在地上
Booyah!
中了
That's how it's done!
这就是案件的真♥相♥
Todd,
托德
I'm telling your mother.
我要告诉你妈妈去
That's right.
没错
Always have an exit strategy.
想溜的人总有借口
I think I've heard enough.
我想我已经听得够多了
Professor Kane, may we have a sidebar in your office?
凯恩教授我们可否到你办公室小议片刻
I want a mistrial.
我想要一个无效审判
Just give us a "C," give Todd a "C."
给我们得个C 也给托德一个C
Excuse me? What?
你说什么啥
Can we take a sidebar in this sidebar?
我们能不能再对此小议一下
Jeff, we're about to get our "A."
杰夫我们本来能得A的
Todd didn't do it. Um, he just confessed, dummy.
凶手不是托德他刚已经认罪了呆子
He said the jar burned him?
他说被水罐烫了一下
It doesn't make any sense.
这毫无道理
People don't half-confess to crimes.
没人会认罪只认一半
Look, when we started this,
听着当我们决意做此事时
you were after the truth.
你就开始了真理追求之路
And then I convinced you it was more important to win.
我想劝你这比打赢官司更重要
Don't be like me.
别搞得像我一样
A man's got to have a code.
做男人必须要有原则
I can only assume there is a female equivalent to that.
假设成女人也应该有原则
A "Codette" or something. But
可以说是"媛则"啥的可是
It's not worth getting an "A"
如果因此让一个无辜之人得个"F"
if an innocent man might get an "F."
那么这个A我们拿的并不值得
Okay, I heard all of that and I accept.
好吧我都听到了我同意
All right.
好了
After speaking to the wronged parties, I've decided to--
在跟蒙冤的当事人交流之后我决定
Uh, if it pleases the bio class,
如果生物课同学不介意的话
I have closing arguments.
我要做结案陈词了
Of course you do.
当然可以
Why was it so hard for all of us to grow a yam?
为什么大家培育番薯总是千辛万苦
It's just a stupid yam in a stupid jar.
不过是破瓶子里的破番薯而已
We're all fully-grown adults
都是堂堂成年人却完不成
failing a kindergarten project.
这幼稚园级别的课程
Can I object? I'll allow it.
我可以反对吗我允许
Sustained.
我继续
And all this time we assumed
一直以来我们都以为
our yam was targeted,
凶手针对的是我们自己的番薯
that someone had stomped its roots maliciously.
所以才会被人恶意地破坏践踏
But what if-- what if our yam's roots
但是如果我们番薯的根
were dead before they hit the ground?
在落地之前就已经死亡了呢
Hey, that's mine! Look at it.
嘿那是我的快看
Everyone look.
大家请看
Smushed without being stepped on.
一脚都没踩就碎成这样
Because it didn't have to be stepped on.
原因就是它根本不用脚踩
Because it was boiled.
因为它已经被煮过了
Someone has been pouring boiling water into our jars at night.
那晚有人向咱们的水罐中注入了沸水
No one noticed because the water cooled off by morning.
没人会注意到因为到了早上水就变凉了
Boiling water is the icicle stabbing of yam killing.
沸水才是导致番薯死亡的真正原因
Ooh, but that didn't--
可是却被
This yam isn't boiled.
这个番薯没有被煮
Vicki?
薇琪
I don't--I didn't do it, I swear!
我没有我没干我发誓
I boiled the yams.
番薯是我煮的
Vicki's yam never sprouted
薇琪的番薯没有发芽
and I didn't want her to fail,
而且我也不希望她不及格
so I threw off the grading curve
所以我搞乱全班的成绩分配
so she wouldn't have to go to summer school
这样她就不用上暑期班
and we can finally have sex in my parents' cabin.
我们就终于能够在我爸妈的小木屋嘿♥咻♥了
God forgive me, I did it for love!
上帝请宽恕我我全是为了爱
Holy crap.
你大爷的
We are definitely dissecting pine cones next year.
下个学年老子要让你们解剖松果
Neil has agreed to retake biology over the summer
尼尔同意暑假过后重考生物
and his status as keymaster has been revoked.
他作为制钥大♥师♥的称号♥也被撤销
After all the politics and procedure, in the end,
经过各种纠结和手续最终
the case really was about biology.
本案还真的跟生物有关
Told you it was an important subject.
早跟你说过这是一门重要学科
Hello?
喂
I understand.
我知道了
Star-burns got rear-ended
星霸的车被追尾
and the meth lab in his trunk exploded.
他车后的制冰设备爆♥炸♥了
He's dead.
他死了
Abed? Yeah?
阿布蒂怎么
Why don't we have bunk bed conversations?
为什么我们没有双层床对话
I don't know.
我不知道
We're best friends, we share a bunk bed.
我们是死党我们共享一张双层床
Seems like we should be having them all the time.
感觉我们应该一直都有双层床对话
You start.
你先来
Okay. Why do you think they call them "Bunk beds"?
好你觉得为什么会叫它"双层床"
Where's the word "Bunk" come from?
"双层"这个词是从何而出呢