废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E05

Part 2 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:40 a.m.

Just the right level of moisture.
湿润合度
Would you like to do it again? No.
何不再次相吻不要
We should listen to the news on this radio.
现在到了收听广播新闻的时间
I brought it as a cautionary measure,
我带收音机就是不想错过紧急新闻
because this cabin is within walking distance
这间小木屋的不远处
of the local insane asylum.
可是本地的疯人院
Oh, is that why you were able to rent it
难怪你能便宜租到
at such a reasonable rate? Yes.
这么豪华的小木屋没错
I hope you're as fertile as I am tonight.
我希望今晚的你跟我一样春意盎然
More.
有过之而无不及
Abed!
阿布蒂
Why are you doing the whole song?
干嘛还要模拟唱这整首歌♥
They wouldn't turn the radio on at the exact moment
他们哪可能一打开广播
of the most pertinent news broadcast.
就听到要听的新闻啊
It's too coincidental.
过度巧合显得太假
But I'll jump forward in time.
我快进吧
What was that noise?
那是什么声音
Based on the news report we just heard,
从我们刚听到的新闻报道来看
but not just just heard,
就是音乐唱完的那段
I assume it's the deranged, hook-handed killer,
应该是趁疯人院落后的安保系统失灵
who escaped when the asylum's antiquated security system failed.
跑出来的精神错乱钩子手杀人魔弄的声音
I guess they shouldn't have cut corners,
谁让精神病院贪小便宜
although it is understandable,
不过鉴于经济衰退
given the recent economic downturn.
他们也算情有可原吧
Should we go check it out?
是不是该去查看一下啊
No. We should call 911
不必我们只需
on my fully-charged cell phone,
用我电力满满的手♥机♥打给警♥察♥伯伯
lock the doors, and then stand back to back
锁上门拿起刀背靠背
in the middle of the room holding knives.
站在房♥间正中♥央♥ 就万事大吉啦
I love you shh.
我爱你噤声
Did these people ever die or what?
那两个人到底死不死啊
Eventually, once it had been...
不是不死而是时候...
eaaarned.
未到到到
Well, britta...
布雷塔
It looks like you're barking up the wrong tree.
看来有人看走眼操错心了啊
Yeah. You want to hear a scary story?
就是你们想听恐怖故事是吧
I've got a scary story.
给你们讲美国恐怖故事
Thank you for pulling me from that carriage.
谢谢你把我从马车里救出来
I don't know what could have frightened my horses so.
真不知道我的马儿是被什么吓成这样
Many vile creatures make these woods their home.
许多邪恶生物都这森林里窝藏
Some even warn of... monsters.
据说此地还有... 怪物出没
I don't believe in monsters.
我不相信有怪物的存在
I believe every man has good within.
我相信人性本善所以天下无怪兽
I must retrieve my books from the debris tomorrow.
明天我得把书从马车残骸中找回来
I am a school teacher,
我是个老师
and many children rely on me to educate them.
很多孩子都指望着我上课呢
Be gone, innocent one!
走吧无辜妹子
What's wrong?
怎么了
You may choose not to believe in them,
你可以选择不相信它们的存在
but I a monster.
可我真的是怪物
and I must feed.
不吃人不行
Do not judge me for my weakness.
别嫌弃我虚弱不堪的样子
Stifle your slackened maw,
省口气吧
you drained and tainted bitch dog.
你个血尽人枯的贱妇
I'm fine with this.
吸吸就习惯了
Wait!
慢着
Teach me to read.
教我读书识字吧
Wo...
词
Sound it out.
念出来
Wo...rd dog
词狗
hates... cats.
厌猫
"Oh reason not the need!
"别和我说需要不需要"
Our basest beggars are in the poorest things superfluous."
"最卑贱的乞丐也有他不值钱的身外之物"
Yes! Yes! Yes!
对对太棒了
You should be proud of how much I've changed you.
我成功帮你洗心革面你真该觉得自豪
Thank you for helping me,
谢谢你帮我
but I'm afraid some monsters
但恐怕有些怪物
cannot change.
死性难改
No...
不要
Resist your craving!
抑制你的渴望
Just pick up a good book
拿起一本好书
and read!
静下心看吧
Your porcelain neck,
你的鹅颈白♥嫩♥ 光洁如瓷
in the light of the full moon,
映着如水月华
too appetizing.
让我食"齿"大动
Unfortunate...
很遗憾
for you.
你才是待宰的羔羊
You see, some monsters cannot change.
正如你说有些怪物死性难改
But others can.
有些则能随机应"变"
What is this?
这是闹哪样
I'm a werewolf that feeds on selfish vampires.
我是一个专吃自私吸血鬼的狼人
And she ripped into his torso,
他的躯体被五马分尸大卸八块
like a gerbil shredding a Quaker oats box,
比沙鼠啃碎的桂格燕麦盒子还破碎
sending chunks of viscera
内脏碎块漫天飞舞
and an aerosol mist of blood all over the skanky concubine.
血雾狂喷溅了那无♥耻♥二♥奶♥一脸
Then, she flossed her teeth with his tendons.
她还用了他的肌腱剔牙
And, because he was a vampire,
由于吸血鬼的生命力强韧
He lived through all of it.
他意识清醒得被生吞活剥
He had to watch her swallow his last eyeball.
直到她吞下自己最后一个眼球
She kept it attached to the optic nerve,
而且她还让眼珠子连着视神经
so he could see down her throat,
好让他能随着被吞入食道
to his own partially digested flesh
看到自己那尚未被消化完毕的血肉
in...her...stomach.
在她胃部翻滚的景象
See? There was a twist.
瞧峰回路转出人意料
Wow, Annie
我说安妮呀
I didn't know you were such a fan of...Gore.
想不到你居然是《吸血鬼戈尔》的粉丝
It's Halloween.
今天可是万圣节
If you're gonna tell a scary story, give it some texture.
恐怖故事代入感和真实感缺一不可
Wasn't that great.
你的故事也就普通
Well, your texture was so discompassionately macabre,
你的故事有点太过冷血残酷虐杀了吧
as if without the slightest regard for human life.
没有点人间温情
That's enough. Stop pinning ribbons to her.
够了别瞎夸她了
Why does Annie get to be good at everything?
为啥安妮就可以各项全能
You guys wanna hear a real, legit scary story?
听我说个真实不鬼扯的恐怖故事吧
Hello?
你好
Is there anyone here?
有人在吗
I need help.
谁来帮帮我
Oh, thank God. An old doctor.
谢天谢地有个老医生
Me and my partner are top gun fighter pilots,
我和我的搭档是战斗机飞行员
The best of the best.
横扫飞行界无人能敌
Pew pew pew.
哒哒哒
Our f-15 went down in the woods.
我们的F15战机坠入树林了
I thought I heard something awesome out there.
难怪刚听见外头一声美妙的巨响呢
Please, come in, for first aids and what have you.
请进吧帮你们急救或干嘛的
Mmm, drinks from a stranger.
陌生人给的饮料
So medical. Thank you.
太治愈了谢谢
Wakey-wakey.
醒醒醒醒
What's going on?
这是怎么回事
This cabin is my lab,
这个隔间是我的工作室
Where I do weird experiments on people.
我在这里做各种诡异的人体实验
Look!
看
Noo!
不
Forced to be together forever!
被迫连体一辈子
I sewed you together.
是我把你们缝在一起了
I totally sewed you together!
从上到下都缝在一起了
Abed!
阿布蒂
Now that we're sewn together,
既然被缝在一起了
do we have E.S.P.?
你说咱能意念移物吗
Yes! We're psychic now.
有现在我们通灵了
We can destroy him with mind powers.
我们可以用意念力打败他