废柴联盟（2009）
Community
第三季
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废柴联盟（2009）
Community S03E03
Part 3
Oct. 20, 2020, 9:40 a.m.
Very much so. Yes.
没错 就是
All right, yep.
好了 搞定
According to my system, Annie's gonna be with Shirley.
根据我的运算系统 安妮和雪莉一组
Pierce is with me. Troy is with Britta.
皮尔斯和我一组 特洛伊和布雷塔一组
And Jeff is with Todd.
杰夫和托德一组
Okay, let's get to work.
好了 大家开工吧
Uh, wait. Um, how did I end up with Todd?
稍等 我怎么会和托德分一组
I mean, no offense,
我是说 无意冒犯
but he wasn't exactly at the top of my list.
但他并非我的首选
None taken.
不介意
It's what the algorithm dictated.
算法运行结果如此
And we're just supposed to trust your algorithm?
你的算法信得过吗
You're questioning my algorithm?
你质疑我的算法吗
Not necessarily. Is your algorithm above questioning?
倒也未必 你的算法无可质疑吗
Not necessarily.
倒也未必
Will you just tell us how you chose?
透露一下配对原则吧
I used the ballots to rank everyone by popularity.
我依据得票数 将大家按人缘排序
And I put the most popular with the least popular.
再按人气高低配对
I figured it would maximize each partnership's audience appeal.
我推断 异极相吸使引力最大化
Oh, I-I see.
哦 我明白了
So I was number one, and he was obviously number eight.
这么说我是人气王 因为他显然是最末
No offense, Todd.
无意冒犯 托德
You and Todd were four and five.
你和托德分列四五名
I was four?
我才第四名
Todd was four. I was five?
第四名是托德 我第五
Well, that's insane!
这个世界太疯狂了
We don't even know him.
我们都不认识他
He's a stranger.
和他形同陌路
Please, Jeff. It has feelings.
注意 杰夫 走兽花草也有情
Wait, so we all know Annie was number one,
慢着 这下安妮就是第一了
because she'd do all the work.
因为她会包揽所有工作
And Shirley was her partner, so...
雪莉是她的搭档 这么说
But that means-- so you all put--
也就说明 你们都没投
I just worked it out.
我想明白了
I'm more popular than someone!
我的人缘终于不是垫底了
Getting the matchbooks shipped to me the same day wasn't easy.
让所有安全火柴当天到货并非易事
I had to pay the company money.
我还得给火柴公♥司♥付钱
I used Nunez's card.
我刷的是努内兹的卡
He'd thank me at the detective awards.
获颁警探奖时 他会感谢我的
Somewhere, somehow, I was gonna find what I was looking for.
无论如何 我定要找出个中真♥相♥
Holy Mary, mother of god.
圣主玛利亚
Was I crazy?
我是疯了吗
Or was I on the verge of something?
还是濒近了真♥相♥
My mind reeled with thoughts.
思绪萦绕在我的脑海
Voices. Stand-up premises.
人声嘈杂 线索错综
Why don't they just make tires out of pavement
为什么不建造轮行道
so you can drive on anything? What's up with buttons?
好方便大家的滑行 为什么按钮无处不在
What would happen if Nicholson was a gynecologist?
如果尼克松是妇科医生会怎样
There was something there.
有线索了
I need a notepad.
我去拿记事本
Maybe a blazer.
或许再来件运动夹克
Honey, I-I-I don't know when I'll be home.
亲爱的 什么时候回家真没准
How could you guys hate me more than Pierce?
你们怎能嫌我超过皮尔斯呢
Or anything more than Pierce?
怎能嫌任何人超过皮尔斯呢
Thin ice, Shirley.
见好就收啊 雪莉
My friends and I are not gonna let you
我们革命战友可绝不会
drive a wedge between us.
中你的反间计
Shirley has a point.
雪莉说得有道理
This list stinks like a butt convention.
这排名比双边会议还挫
How else could you explain Troy being so unpopular?
不然特洛伊怎么没人缘
Uh, I think I was the popular one in our pairing.
咱俩相吸 我高你低
Oh, Troy.
特洛伊真好
Fine, why don't I just go work with Todd?
我这么讨人嫌 干脆和托德配对算了
Hey, that's cool, whatever gets this project done.
只要项目能做完 我没意见
Oh, wow, what a great guy.
看人家多圣母啊
I can see why all of you like him so much more than me.
怪不得比我讨人喜欢
Jeff, maybe it's just that no one wants to carry you all year.
杰夫 或许大家只是不想总和你结对
Gee, you're right, Annie, it's not personal.
说得好 安妮 对事不对人
I mean, it's not like people really like you.
大家也不是真的喜欢你
You're just a good grade in a tight sweater.
你只就是分数高 人风♥骚♥
You're just a bad grade in a tight sweater.
你也就是分数低 爱搅基
And who the hell are you always texting?
你妹的总忙着和谁发短♥信♥啊
Everyone you know is here.
你熟人也就这么几个
Okay, let's all just take a breath--
好吧 大家都消消气
Don't get your number four stink on this, Todd.
少显摆你的第四名 托德
Okay, let's focus.
我们就事论事
We're all the same people we were 12 hours ago.
12个钟头之前 我们还一切正常
Maybe we should just revert to our original pairings.
或许我们该回归初始配对
But I thought you didn't want to carry Jeff.
你不是不想带杰夫吗
Oh, you just don't want to work with Shirley.
那就是不想和雪莉合作
You too, brute?
你也这么对我 真是小人
It's just... You're a creationist!
只是 你是有神论者
What? You're so religious.
什么 你信教太深
How are you gonna do science experiments
你连科学都不信
if you don't even believe in science?
怎么做得好科学实验呢
Just because someone's religious doesn't mean
信教并不意味着
they have a problem with science.
不通教化
And certainly,
毋庸置疑
if an Introductory Biology course at a community college
区区一个社区大学的生物学导论课
can refute 2,000 years of miracles--
怎可驳倒上下2000年的神迹传说
And what about Britta?
布雷塔又好到哪里去
She's not gonna dissect anything.
她不肯解剖动物
Fine, you got me, I won't dissect anything with a face.
好吧 被你说中了 我不忍♥解剖有头有脸的生物
What about worms?
那蠕虫呢
Do they have tiny little faces?
虫虫也有小脸的吧
This is why you're the stupidest!
怨不得说你最傻
If loving worms is stupid, I don't wanna be smart.
如果爱虫虫也叫傻 我甘愿不要聪明
It is, and you can't be.
是很傻 你也变不聪明
Guys, I just figured it all out.
同志们 我大彻大悟了
Pierce, wake up, Jeff is gonna heal us.
皮尔斯醒醒 杰夫又要妙语仁心了
We have been looking at this totally wrong.
我们的理解全都错了
There's no way I'm unpopular.
我不可能人缘差
One of you monsters just put me last
有个促狭混♥蛋♥把我排在最后
in a petty attempt to humble me.
存心要我难堪
I just had a terrible nightmare that Jeff was a pompous ass.
我刚做了个噩梦 梦见杰夫傲慢犯浑来着
Also Todd was there.
托德也在旁边
Uh, no offense, Todd.
无意冒犯 托德
I'd poked my nose where it didn't belong.
我触及了不可告人的秘密
Someone--or something-- had sent me a message.
他她它 向我发出了警告
Veronica.
维罗妮卡
It was my fault she had gotten mixed up in this.
她不该牵扯进来 都是我的错
Uh-uh, Todd.
别想开溜 托德
Pretty sure I heard a fire alarm.
我确信听到了火警
Nobody's going home until we see those ballots.
看到票数统计之前 谁也别想走
See the ballots? Are you crazy?
查看票数统计 你疯了吗
I say let's lay our cards on the table
要我说 我们集体摊牌
and see what everyone really thinks of each other.
看看大家都是怎么看待彼此的
Get behind me, Abed.
躲到我身后 阿布蒂
Jeff, stop it!
杰夫 够了
Pass! Give it to me! No, get back, get back!
接着 给我 退后 别过来
I am doing this for all of us.
我这么做是为了大家好
Oh, no, she's got her marijuana lighter.
不 她祭出了大♥麻♥打火机
Don't!
不要啊
Noooo! The turtle is in there!
不要啊 乌龟还在里面呢
Oh, my god, I am so sorry!
天啊 我错了
What is wrong with you people?
你们这是什么毛病
I thought you were supposed to be friends!
我还以为你们是朋友呢
I thought you were supposed to love each other!
我还以为你们相亲相爱呢
Your love is weird.
相亲诡异
And toxic!
相爱有毒
废柴联盟（2009）
Community
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