废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E01

Part 2 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:39 a.m.

I will not tolerate monkeys living on campus.
我是绝不容许学校内养猴子的
If I wanted to run a monkey hotel,
要是我想开家猴子旅馆
I'd install a banana buffet.
我就盖间香蕉自助餐厅
I'd use vines as elevators,
用藤蔓代替电梯
and I'd put tail holes in the bathrobes,
浴衣都开个洞好伸尾巴
And I'd lower all the shower knobs.
并降低所有的淋浴开关
Wow, you've really thought this through.
哇看来你还真的有认真考虑过
And now it's your turn. Brainstorm.
现在该你们说了头脑风暴
Idea shower.
滚滚思潮
Spray your solutions all over me.
让精思妙想来得更猛烈一些吧
Well, w-we could seal all the vents
我们准备把所有的通风口封上
and then pump the ducts with some kind of gas
然后往管道里灌入一种
that knocks out monkeys.
可以迷晕猴子的气体
Monkey knockout gas!
驱猴烟雾剂
Now that's the kind of grounded,
这才是我本学年看重的思想
sensible thinking I want to see this year.
脚踏实地合乎情理
Catherine, who's next?
凯瑟琳下一个是谁
Vice dean Laybourne
副院长莱伯恩
from the Air Conditioning Repair School Annex.
来自学院下属空调维修学院
Vice dean. Dean.
副院长院长
New suit, dean?
新西装啊院长
New dean, vice dean. New dean.
院长焕然一新了副院长焕然一新
I see that you used school funds
我看到你拿学校经费
to buy an espresso machine for your faculty break room.
给教员休息室配了一套浓缩咖啡机
I don't recall being consulted on that.
我怎么不记得有跟我商量过呢
I don't consult you on anything.
我啥事都用不着跟你汇报
That's the problem.
这就是问题所在
The Air-conditioning Repair School Annex seems to think
空调维修附属学院好像自以为
that it's separate from Greendale,
独♥立♥于格林德尔啊
but it's an annex.
但你们毕竟是附属院校
An appendage, on a body, with a head,
你们附属于身体受头脑指令
And this head is saying to this appendage,
现在我这个头脑对你这个附属说
"Whazup?"
"不服咋地"
What you say makes sense, dean.
你说的很有道理院长
Tell you what.
我跟你说
You bring your head down to my appendage tomorrow,
请您明天带着贵头莅临本附属
and I'll show you "Whazup."
我会向您展示"不服会咋地"
I'll be there.
我一定会去的
I think I found something that will help Abed!
我应该有办法帮阿布蒂了
Abed, did you know that Cougar Town
阿布蒂你知道吗《熟♥女♥镇》改编自
is an American adaptation of a 1990s British sitcom?
上世纪九十年代一部英国喜剧
Cougarton Abbey.
《熟♥女♥贞院》
Just been 'round Cougarton Chapel.
刚刚在熟♥女♥贞教堂
I may be having an awakening.
我貌似突然顿悟了
Come off it, Deidre.
别扯了迪雅卓
You've only been having a butchers at the choir boys.
能唯一让你觉醒起念的就是合唱团的正太
Better than nothing. Thanks, Britta.
聊胜于无谢了布雷塔
Can you believe that guy,
真是难以置信
kicking me out of class like that?
那家伙居然就那么把我赶出教室
It's gonna be impossible to find a science class
再去找一个六学分科学课
with six open spots.
肯定是希望不大了
Why would we need to do that?
我们干嘛要换课呢
Because I'm not in biology anymore.
因为我不能再去上生物课了
And neither is Pierce,
皮尔斯也是啊
but you're both still our friends.
但你俩仍旧是我们的朋友
We've evolved.
友谊升华了
Right, Jeff?
对吧杰夫
Yes, we have.
是的升华了
And we all love each other.
我们彼此相亲相爱
And we all go to the same school, so, uh...
又都上的一个学校所以
I guess I'll see ya when I see ya.
好吧命里有缘终须见
Hey, guess what.
嘿你们猜怎么着
I was on the wait list for Biology,
我本来在生物学课的等待名单里
Somebody got kicked out, I am--
结果有人被踢出去了我就
here to study!
来这学习啦
All hail, Sir eats alone.
向孤独食神致敬
Shut up, Leonard.
闭嘴伦纳德
I heard about your prescription socks.
我听说你腿静脉血栓的事了
Hope you don't mind, Jeff,
希望你不会介意杰夫
But I've got a new favorite show,
我最近刚喜欢上一部新剧
and I'm only on episode six.
才看到第六集
You guys got about five minutes left to eat.
你们大概只剩下五分钟的用餐时间
Oh, my, time flies when you're studying the science of life.
感悟生命之道时时间总是过得飞快
Well, I think time flies when you're joking around
我觉得恶搞那些很屎的电影名时
about movie titles that sound like names for poops.
时间过得才叫飞快
Remains of the day.
美好的回忆啊
Wait a second.
等一下
Were you eavesdropping on our study session?
难不成你在偷听我们学习会议吗
I was eavesdropping on your goof-off session,
我偷听的是你们的杂谈会
And you dummies missed the most obvious one.
你们这些笨蛋漏掉了最明显的电影名
No, I said, "Green Mile."
没有啊我说了《绿色奇迹》
Operation dumbo drop!
《飞象计划》[95年电影跟飞屎音近]
Ew! Gross!
呕恶心
Too clever by half, Jeffrey.
聪明反被聪明误杰夫瑞
All right, well uh, I gotta go.
那好吧我走了
Thanks for the five minutes.
谢谢你们赏给我五分钟
Aw, jeffrey.
杰夫瑞
Blimey. The barrister's foreclosed the abbey.
啊呀出庭律师取消了修道院的赎回权
Fancy a drink, then?
我们杯酒述离殇好吗
Oi, fetch us a hemlock.
拿点毒芹汁过来
Um Britta?
额布雷塔
Why did everyone on cougarton abbey just die?
为什么熟♥女♥贞院角色全灭了
They only ran six episodes.
电视剧就拍了六集
That's the great thing about British TV.
英剧就这点好
They give you closure.
适时完结
No, no, no!
别激动别激动
We'll find you a new favorite show!
我们一定帮你找到电视剧新宠
We'll find you a new favorite show!
我们一定能的
Come on, buddy.
振作起来啊哥们
You are human tennis elbow.
你就是一人间祸害
You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth.
是美丽世界的眼中钉肉中刺
You are the opposite of Batman.
是蝙蝠侠的对立面
You don't need them, man.
你不需要他们兄弟
Exactly. I'll see 'em when I see 'em.
确实命里有缘终须见
Totally.
对极了
You and I, we should hang out some time, huh?
哪天我们也该结伴出去逍遥一下
Grab a drink?
一起喝两杯
Sure. Where are you living now?
一定你现在住哪里
The air vents.
空调风道
I live in the air vents of the school. Shhhh!
我住在学校空调风道中别跟别人说
I'm free, Jeff. Free!
来去无牵挂啊杰夫无牵挂
I gotta get back in that class.
昌哥很危险我要回课堂
Real dean coming through-- oh, my goodness spacious,
正院长大驾光临我去这么大
Vice dean...
副院长
Is this where Greendale's money is going?
格林戴尔的经费都砸在这里了
More accurately, dean,
准确点说院长
It's where Greendale's money comes from.
格林戴尔的财源就指望这里呢
Our air-conditioning program has a job placement rate
我院空调人才项目就业率
five times higher than the rest of your school combined.
是其余学院加起来的五倍都不止
Our Alumnini donations comprise 80%
我院的校友捐赠
of your entire school's budget.
占到全校预算的80%
And you want to know why we think we deserve
而你竟然计较我们购买♥♥一台
an espresso machine?!
浓缩咖啡机
Well, I guess I didn't know. I--
这个我想我也不知道
And you never had to, dean. You could have lived
你什么也不必知道院长你大可以
the rest of your life in blissful ignorance
睁只眼闭只眼无忧无虑地
and died a happy, pansexual imp.
终结你的酒肉人生
But you wanted to feel power this year.
但你今年突然想要掌权
Well, now, you're going to feel my power
好我就让你感受一下我的强权
as it surges downward from me, straight through you,
看气场呼啸自我而出穿身从你而过