废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E19

Part 4 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:43 a.m.

Do any of you speak spanish?
你们有谁会说西班牙语吗
And you've attended Greendale for three years,
你们在格林德尔上了三年学了
but don't community colleges end after two?
但社区大学不是只有两年吗
Everyone's always saying that.
大家都这样说
The average community college student attends school
其实上社区大学的平均年限是
five to seven years.
五到七年
Many offer four-year degrees.
许多社区大学都有四年的文凭
In your mind, they do.
在你们的幻想里是这样
In your mind.
幻想而已
And you shared this delusion with each other, like that time
你们彼此分享幻觉就像以前90年代
all those people got into swing dance music back in the '90s.
大家都一窝蜂地沉迷摇摆舞一样
And then you were released,
然后你们出院了
probably because your insurance ran out.
可能是医保没钱了
But the official story is that you're now fit
但官方版本是你们现在
to live within society again.
又融入社会了
You just have to accept the truth.
只是你们得接受真♥相♥
Wait.
等等
Give me a break. That made no sense.
有没有搞错啊狗屁不通
Yeah, it's me.
是我
No, I think they bought it.
我觉得他们信了
I had to do a little riffing at the end,
结尾处来了点即兴
but I was pretty convincing.
但我很有说服力
Well, if it looks like I'm sneaking out the window,
如果你们觉得我是在溜窗而出
it's just a symptom of your deepening psychosis.
那只是你们严重精神病的病症而已
Don't hurt me. Greendale doesn't exist?
别打我格林德尔不存在
How long did you think we'd buy that?
你觉得我们会信多久
I'm literally carrying a Greendale backpack.
我背着如假包换的格林德尔背包
I have, like, 1,000 pictures of the campus on my phone.
我手♥机♥里有上千张学校的照片
I have children I see every day.
我天天见到我孩子
I have definitely not been locked up.
我绝对没有被关起来过
Get him.
抓住他
Why would you lie to make us think we were crazy?
你为什么要撒谎让我们觉得自己疯了
Because, Ms. Edison,
因为埃迪生小姐
Greendale is purgatory,
格林德尔是炼狱
and I am the devil.
而我是恶魔
What? I knew it.
什么我就知道
Stop letting him make you realize stuff.
别让他搞得你顿悟什么的
These aren't even good lies.
这句谎话太烂了
All right, fine, I had to come up with something.
好吧我不得不瞎掰一些
You were getting too close. Close to what?
你们太接近了接近什么
To the truth. The Indian kid was right.
接近真♥相♥ 这印度小子是对的
He's arabic. Also Polish.
他是阿♥拉♥伯人还有波兰血统
Whatever. I'm a fake psychiatrist,
随便啦我是个假心理医生
not a fake ethnologist.
又不是假的人类学家
The point is your Dean was kidnapped by ben chang
重点是你们的院长被本·昌绑♥架♥了
and replaced with a double.
用赝品代替了
I was hired to keep you off the scent. Chang kidnapped the Dean?
我受雇让你们别碍事昌绑♥架♥了院长
Even for him, that's insane.
对他来说这举动都太疯狂了
Is it? Think about it.
是吗好好想想
Whoo! I said hot damn!
哇爽得老子没法说
Chang...
昌
What are you doing?
你在做什么
I'm predicting future crimes.
我在预言犯罪
Now I'm sick.
我感冒了
See, you said that would happen.
瞧你说了会这样
You are a pre-cog!
你就是先知
Again.
再来
You're weak.
你太软弱了
Uh, guys,
伙计们
while we were remembering Chang is crazy,
咱们闪回昌的疯狂轶事时
the fake doctor sneaked away.
假医生溜了
What? Oh, crap!
什么妈的
There goes our only chance of clearing our names.
这是唯一为我们正名的机会
You guys, forget about us.
伙计们别想我们自己了
The Dean has been kidnapped.
院长被绑♥架♥了
He's out there somewhere, alone and cold
他现在正在某处孤单寒冷
and most likely trying to cobble together
最有可能在将就凑合做一件
a sexy patty hearst costume.
性感的帕蒂·赫斯特的戏服
Britta's right. Wait, what?
布雷塔说的对什么
We need to rescue the Dean.
我们得拯救院长
We need to get back to that school.
我们得回到学校
And we definitely never need to do another paintball.
而且我们绝对不需要再来场彩弹大战
Yeah. See, therapy does work.
是啊瞧看心理医生还是管用的
We're cured.
我们都痊愈了
Sounds like the study group has
看来学习小组有两下子嘛
gotten wise to operation doppel-deaner.
准备铲除假院长了
It's time for phase two. What's phase two?
是时候进入第二阶段了是什么
Hey, I'm making up the same plan you are. come on.
我跟你们一样是胡诌计划好吗醒目点
Pitches, pitches, pitches.
快想快想快点想
Ah, thank you, Megan.
多谢梅根
Troy and Abed in the morning
特洛伊和阿布蒂早间秀
Nights.
晚间特别篇
Welcome back, all you night owls.
欢迎回来夜猫子们
Troy, why don't we open up the phone lines?
特洛伊接进电♥话♥吧
Talk to us, lonely hearts.
聊聊吧寂寞的心
We got Jeff W. Calling.
杰夫·翁某来电
Hello?
喂
Hey, Jeff, what's your question?
你好啊杰夫有什么烦恼事
Who is this? Great question.
你谁啊问得好
We're us. You guys, it's 3:00 in the morning.
就是咱们伙计现在是凌晨三点
I'm trying to sleep.
我这儿睡觉呢
I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff.
很遗憾听到这个杰夫
Why don't you stay on the line and we'll get your information.
你别挂电♥话♥ 听咱们开导就好
Yeah, we'll get you the help you need.
我们会给你帮助的
Our next caller's Annie E.
下一位打进来的是安妮·埃某
What's on your mind tonight, Annie?
想说什么安妮
Hey, guys, long time,
伙计听了很久
first time, love the show.
第一次打来爱你们的节目哦
Aw, appreciate ya. How can we help?
太谢谢了有什么要帮忙的
You can shut up and go to sleep.
你们可以闭嘴然后去睡觉
Well, Jacks and Jills, that's about all the time
帅哥美女们节目差不多了
We have tonight. Yeah, until next time,
就到这里下次节目前
may your dreams be sweet
愿你们都是美梦
and your nightmares be "Spooky monster" scary
而且恶梦只是怪兽
and not "Grandma died" scary.
并非奶奶去世
Troy and Abed in the morning
特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间秀
Nights.
晚间特别篇