废柴联盟（2009）

Community S03E16

Part 3 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:42 a.m.

Abed doesn e exist, young lady.
没有这个人姑娘
He exists if I say so.
我说有就有
This is my hospital school.
这是我开的医学院
Your hospital school, young lady, is a simulation
姑娘你的医学院只是仿真模拟
being run through a filter of other people's needs.
并且都要通过一个"他人需求"过滤器生成
Abed's been filtered out because nobody needs him.
阿布蒂被过滤掉了因为没人需要他
I need him.
我就需要
Well you're not simulated.
可惜你不是幻境中人
No, but this is!
好吧但这下就不同了
And there are more where that didn't come from.
老娘还有更厉害的招还没使出来呢
This is a private compartment.
这里是私人隔间
Jeff, get the files.
杰夫去拿档案
Why me?
为什么让我去
Because you can see the cabinets.
因为你能找到档案柜
And I'll make love to you.
事成之后我将以身相许
Jackpot.
爽爆了
There is an Abed in this hospital school,
医学院里倒有个叫阿布蒂的
but he's not a doctor.
但他不是医生
He's a patient.
他是个病人
Notify security! Conductor!
保安快来人
Jeff, take me to that Abed.
杰夫带我去找那个阿布蒂
Where is that?
他在哪呢
Enough games, just take me where I wanna go.
我玩够了就带我去我想去的地方吧
Follow me.
跟我来
Are we close?
快到了吗
Almost there, although you should probably run in place
近在咫尺了不过你应该跑起来
and let the hall way move around you.
让路自己在你脚下飞驰
Here we are.
咱们到了
Where?
到哪儿了
Where you wanted to go.
到你想去的地方了
The last night of school, first year.
第一学年放假前的最后一夜
The night we kissed.
咱俩激♥情♥热吻的那一晚
Abed wasn't there, so whose memory is this?
阿布蒂当时可没在场这是谁的记忆
Maybe it's yours.
可能是你的
Maybe the Dreamatorium really works.
或许幻梦空间真的有效
Or maybe Leonard was watching from the bushes
又或者是伦纳德躲在草丛中偷♥窥♥到了
and told Abed about it.
然后告诉了阿布蒂
I don't have cable.
我可没有告密
Knock it off, Abed.
少来这套阿布蒂
I'm not Abed.
我不是阿布蒂
You're confused, and so was I.
你有点困惑我曾经也是如此
But not any more.
但我已不再迷惘
Jeff--Abed stop.
杰夫...阿布蒂别闹了
I don't want to do this.
我不想再陪你胡闹了
I want to talk to ABed.
我想跟阿布蒂谈谈
I'm taking the file.
我拿着档案呢
Oh, it says Abed isn't the recovery parlor.
看起来阿布蒂可不是个回收站
Condition--never better.
身体状况好得不能再好了
You're not holding anything.
你手上空无一物
This is the file.
档案在这
Abed Nadir, psychiatric patient 1373,
阿布蒂·纳德尔 1373号♥精神病人
Control freak with no empathy.
毫无同理心的控制狂
People bend over backwards to cater to him.
大家不得不尽力去迎合他
Signed, Healthcare Administrator Annie Edison.
签名医院院长安妮·埃迪生
That's out of context.
你这是断章取义
You've thought of everything, Annie.
你操心得太多了安妮
With Abed gone and Troy and Britta together,
阿布蒂消失了特洛伊和布雷塔好上了
there's nothing standing in the way of us.
再没有什么能妨碍咱俩了
Wait, what?
等等你说啥
Come on.
来吧
This is you dream.
这是你梦寐以求的
This is why you played matchmaker.
你是因此才扮演红娘的角色
This is what's important to you.
这才是你在意的事情
You are not Jeff.
你又不是杰夫
Because Jeff cares about Abed.
因为杰夫关心阿布蒂
And I did not push Troy and Britta together
我撮合特洛伊和布雷塔才不是因为
so this would happen.
我想咱俩能成呢
I did it because I thought they were cute together
只是因为我觉得他俩很般配
and this would have been a bonus.
当然咱俩能圆♥满♥就算锦上添花了
And we are not here.
但是我们不在这个场景中
And I'm not staying here because I hate whoever you are.
不管你是谁我讨厌你我要走了
You should probably storm off in--
你横冲直撞的时候记得注意...
in place.
墙
Where do you wanna go next?
你接下来想去哪儿
I wanna be alone.
我想一个人待会
Sounds good to me.
听起来挺好的
Execute simulation, Annie/Annie.
执行模拟安妮与安妮
There.
搞定
Now we're alone.
现在就剩咱自己了
Great, so you're me now.
好嘛现在你又开始扮我了
Why are you blowing our magic moment with Jeff?
你为什么要破坏我们跟杰夫的美妙时光呢
It's not magic.
一点也不美妙
It's not even real.
压根都不是真的
But we love Jeff.
不过我们确实爱杰夫
No, we don't.
不才没有
We're just in love with the idea of being loved.
我们只是爱着那种被人爱的感觉
And if we can teach a guy like Jeff to do it,
如果能教会像杰夫那样的家伙来爱我们
we'll never be unloved.
就再也不用担心没人爱我们了
So we keep running the same scenario over and over
我们可以一遍遍运行相同的场景
hoping for a different result.
期盼一个不一样的结局
Running scenarios.
运行场景
Careful now.
注意点
You're starting to sound like Abed.
你现在说话的口吻有点像阿布蒂了
So...I probably shouldn't say things like "Star Wars.
也就是说...我不能说"星球大战
Zardoz, Cougar Town, cool, cool, cool."
萨杜斯熟♥女♥镇酷酷酷"之类的咯
Stop it. Pop culture, pop culture.
别闹了流行文化流行文化
I'm on a TV show. You're gonna get in trouble.
我上电视了你会有麻烦的
Meta, meta.
变形成功
It's Abed!
阿布蒂
I got an Abed here!
阿布蒂出现了
Get him!
把他抓起来
That's it.
正是如此
I find you guilty of being Abed.
我发现你愧于做阿布蒂
You're under arrest!
你被逮捕了
Can I just interject and say
我能插嘴问下
I don't know what the hell's going on?
到底怎么回事么
This time you'll never get out.
这次你可永远跑不了了
Abed?
阿布蒂吗
Abed.
阿布蒂
Yeah.
没错
I found you by turning into you, how cool is that?
我通过变成你找到了你我聪明吧
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
酷酷酷酷
Tell me where we are so I can pretend to see it.
告诉我咱们现在在哪我好入戏
We're inside a locker.
咱们被锁在一个储物柜里了
It's where I spent a lot of time in junior high.
我初中大部分时间都是在这度过的
You think this is where we'd put you?
你觉得是我们会把你逼成这样
You know that's absurd, right?
你明白这有多荒谬对吧
Well, I'm not stupid.
好吧我又不傻
You can see I've increased the square footage.
你看我把内部空间扩大了
It's a metaphorical locker.
这个储物柜是一个暗喻
It's a place where people like me get put
像我这样的人
when everyone's finally fed up with us.
被大家厌恶了之后就会被关进这里
Abed, so maudlin.
阿布蒂你太敏感了
If you start turning into a vampire--
如果你变成吸血鬼...
I've run the simulations, Annie.
我已经模拟过了安妮
I don't get married, I don't invent a billion dollar website
我没有婚配也没创建价值数亿的网站
that helps people have sex.
方便广大网友约炮
I don't make in into Sundance,
在圣丹斯和斯兰丹斯电影节里
Slamdance or dance pants.
我籍籍无名舞裤也没我的份
Troy invents dance pants in 2019.
特洛伊在2019年发明了舞蹈裤