好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E24
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:19 p.m.
It does sound nice.
听起来不错
Yeah,so does Disneyland.
是啊 就像迪士尼乐园一样
Yet every day people stagger off those giant teacups covered in vomit.
但是 人们每一天都会从那沾满呕吐物 的巨大茶杯转椅里爬出来
But you'd do it again?
那么你还会结婚吗?
What can I say?
我能怎么说呢?
Marriage is a great ride until you puke.
婚姻是段精彩的转椅之旅 直到你吐了为止
Good night.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
Charlie. Mia?
查理 米亚
Your friend Rose was just at my apartment.
你朋友萝丝刚才去我公♥寓♥了
So how'd that go?
发生什么事了吗?
She was wearing a bridal gown.
她穿着件婚纱
Planning on wearing it to our wedding.
她打算穿着那个参加我们的婚礼
She wanted me to know so we wouldn't clash.
她想让我看一下 这样的话我们就不会撞衫了
Well,that's kind of thoughtful,isn't it?
哦 她真是想的挺周到 是吧?
I'm not finished.
我还没说完呢
She wanted to give me a shower.
她想帮我洗澡
An engagement shower?
订婚洗礼?
An actual soap and water shower.
实实在在的用肥皂和水帮我洗一次澡
I don't want her at my wedding.
我不想让她参加我的婚礼
Hey,I don't want her in my zip code.
嘿 我都不想跟她住一个区
But she's a close friend.
但是她是我们的好朋友
Charlie. All right,all right,I'll tell you what...
查理? 好吧 好吧 我告诉你吧
I'll cross Rose off the guest list...
我可以把萝丝从客人名单上去掉
if you dump that pistol-packing hermaphrodite you call a sister.
条件是 你不能邀请那个你称之为姐妹的带枪二椅子参加婚礼
She's my maid of honor the gun is registered, and she's taking hormones.
可她是我的首席女傧相 枪已经注册过了 而且她正在注射荷尔蒙
While we're pruning, what about your mother?
说到精减客人 那你妈呢?
Done.She's out.
成交 她不会来了
Now your mother.
现在该你老妈了
It's not a some thing
这不是一回事
You would've thrown your mother overboard for free.
丟开你老妈 你压根儿眼都不眨一下
I don't care.
那我不管
If she goes somebody on your side's gotta go.
如果不让她来 你那边的人也得去掉一个
How about your father?
你老爸怎么样?
He takes us all out to dinner and the only plastic he's got on him is his shoes.
他把我们大家带去吃饭 结果他身上唯一一块塑料就是他的鞋
Charlie,he has to give me away at the wedding.
查理 他得在婚礼上把我交给你啊
Give you away?
把你交给我?
That cheapskate?
那个守财奴?
I'll probably have to trade him a pony and a couple of blankets for you.
我可能得用一匹小马和几条毯子来换你
what are we seem we're gonna have a wedding that none
难道我们要办个没有家人
of our family and friends can attend?
和朋友参加的婚礼吗?
Might as well go to Vegas and elope.
我们也许去私奔去拉斯维加斯比较好
Now,there's an interesting concept.
那倒会挺有意思的
In Vegas,not only could we get married immediately...
在拉斯维加斯 我们不仅可以马上结婚
we can get drunk and gamble away our nest egg.
还可以喝个过瘾 把我们的积蓄赌个精光
Don't forget the lap dances and hookers.
别把脱衣舞和妓♥女♥给忘了
Oh,you're gonna make a great wife.
哦 你一定会成为一个好妻子的
All the wonderful plans I had for a wedding.
可惜我为婚礼想的那些好点子都用不上
Let it go,Alan.
别计较了 艾伦
I don't understand the big rush.
我不明白你为什么这么着急
You wouldn't even stop for boutonnieres.
你甚至都没买♥♥带在扣眼上的花
I just wanna get this over with.
我只想速战速决
Get this over with?
速战速决?
That's the attitude you take to a proctologist,not a marriage.
那是你应该对直肠科医生采取的态度 而不该这样看待结婚
Well,maybe I'm a little nervous.
哦 也许我有点紧张
ls that all it is?
仅仅是这样吗?
What are you saying?
你是什么意思啊?
I'm saying that if you're feeling uneasy,
我的意思是如果你感觉不安
maybe you're not ready for this.
也许是你还没有准备好
Did you have doubts when you married? None.
你结婚的时候犹豫过吗? 完全没有
Judith assured me I was doing the right thing.
朱蒂斯向我保证说我的决定没错
Here comes bride,here comes bride
新娘来了 新娘来了
Here comes bride....here comes bride
新娘来了 新娘来了
That's all I got.
我就会这两句
You look beautiful.
你看起来真美
Thanks.
谢谢
I was afraid you were gonna chicken out.
我怕你会临阵脱逃
That's funny,she said the same thing about you.
真有意思 她也是这么说你的
Thank you,Kandi.
谢谢你 康迪
Are you sure this is what you wanna do?
那么你确定你真的想跟我结婚?
I'm sure.Are you?
我确定 你呢?
Absolutely.
当然
Okay.Who's the lucky couple?
好啦 那幸运的一对是谁?
Well,we're the ones getting married, so I guess it's them.
哦 我们俩要结婚了 所以我想你指的可能是他们
Charlie. A joke.
查理. 开玩笑
Alrighty.Now,
好的
before we begin the ceremony I need both your signatures there and there.
在这个仪式开始之前 我需要你们把名字簽在这儿和这儿
Okay.
好的
So are you folks staying in Vegas or
那么你们就呆在拉斯维加斯
are you honeymooning somewhere else?
还是去别的地方度蜜月?
I don't know.
我不知道
What do you think,sweetie?
你怎么想的 亲爱的?
Oh,can I talk to you for a second?
哦 我能跟你谈一下吗
What'd I say? Am I in trouble already?
我错什么了?我已经有麻烦了吗?
Baby,I swear to God, I think we're the lucky couple.
亲爱的 我向上帝发誓 我们就是那幸运的一对
Relax,I just want to talk to you about our honeymoon.
查理 放松点 我只想跟你讨论一下我们的蜜月问题
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go.
你想去哪儿我就带你去哪儿
Frankly,I'd pick a place with a nice ceiling...
老实说 我会挑一个有漂亮天花板的地方
because we're just gonna take turns looking at it.
因为到时候我们会轮流看着天花板的
Charlie,I would love to honeymoon with you.but
查理 我很想跟你去度蜜月 但是
well,I have to work...
我还得工作 而且…
and I think it'd be smarter to use the money to redo the house.
我觉得我们把钱花在装♥修♥房♥子上更明智
Oh,I get it.
哦 我明白了
You gave up trying to change me so now the house has to suffer?
你放弃改变我了 现在房♥子要遭殃了?
If we're gonna have a family, we'll turn the second bedroom into a nursery.
听着 如果我们有自己的家了 我们就得把第二个臥室改成育婴室
But that's where Jake stays.
但那是杰克的房♥间
But once Alan moves out...
没错 但是一旦艾伦搬出去的话
then Jake won't be staying there anymore,right?
那么杰克就不会住在那间臥室 对吧?
Alan's moving out?
艾伦要搬出去?
Of course he is.
他当然得搬出去
Isn't he?
难道不是吗?
This is so romantic.
这真是太浪漫了
When I was a little girl, I used to love playing bride.
我小时候很喜欢扮演新娘
Me too.
我也是
I mean,I was the groom.
我的意思是 我扮演新郎
Most of the time.
大部分时间里
You think you'll ever get married again?
你觉得你还会再结婚吗?
I don't know.I hope so.
我不知道 希望吧
You should because you'd make a good husband.
你应该再婚 因为你会是个好丈夫的
You're kind,considerate,dependable and you're cuter than a duck wearing a hat.
你人好 体贴 靠得住 而且你比戴帽子的小鸭儿还可爱
Oh,come on,Charlie, we need our privacy.
哦 查理 我们需要自己的空间
But they're my family.
但他们是我的家人
I can't just kick them out. -what?
我不能就那么把他们踢出去 什么?
You could've said something before now.
你应该在今天之前把这个说清楚
Who knew your idea of marriage was you and me alone in a house?
我怎么知道你结婚的意思就是 只有你和我呆在一幢房♥子里?
i don't believable it
我简直不敢相信
As long as I've known you,you've been complaining about Alan living with you.
从我认识你开始 你就一直抱怨艾伦跟你住在一起
And you want to take that away from me?
那你就想把那个从我身边夺走吗?
You know what?I thought you were ready to grow up but clearly I was wrong.
你知道吗?我以为你已经长大了 但是很明显我错了
What's more grown up than wanting to take care of my family?
像照顾自己的家人 难道不算长大?
Let's not forget,you're the one who came back to me.
咱们别忘了 是你回来找我的
I only came back because I wanted your sperm.
我回来找你 仅仅因为我想要你的精♥子♥
Yeah,well,it's a package deal.
是吗 好吧 这是个配套交易
My sperm and my brother go hand in hand.
要的话 就得要我跟我兄弟
Kandi,this is so sudden.
康迪 这太突然了
I know.
我知道
But lots of good things are sudden.
但是很多好事都来得很突然
Like sun showers,orgasms.
像太阳雨啦 高♥潮♥啦
That's two things.
那是两回事
Multiple orgasms.
多重高♥潮♥
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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