好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E16
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:17 p.m.
Yeah.
是啊
Happy birthday,you big dope.
生日"快乐" 你个猪头
Hey,am I old enough to have coffee now?
我这年龄 能喝咖啡了吗
You still think armpit farts are funny?
那你觉得"胳屁"还很好玩吗
Yeah.
是啊
Then,no.
那么 年龄还不够
Come on,I could really use a pick-me-up.
別啊 我是真用来提神的
Okay,how do you want it?
好吧 要什么样的
I don't know,in a cup?
不知道 用杯子盛的?
Good choice.
选得好
Feel better?
感觉好点了吗
Yeah,I think it's working.
是的 起作用了
You know,Kandi,
知道吗 康迪
you don't have to feel obligated to go to this party.It's just going to be
你没义务一定要去聚会的 那儿只有
a lot of kids playing silly games.
一堆玩垃圾游戏的小P孩
Are there going to be balloon animals? 'Cause I love those!
那儿有动物气球吗 我最喜欢了
no,uh...Jake's a little old for that.
没有 玩那些东西 杰克的年龄大了点
Balloon animals are a very underappreciated art form,Alan.
动物气球是一种 被严重忽视的艺术形态 艾伦
Just give me a minute to get ready.
稍等 我去準备一下
Okay.
好
You know...
知道吗
it's probably going to be a very,very dull party.
极有可能 那是个超级无趣的聚会
I wouldn't be going myself if I weren't related to the kid.
如果那不是我儿子 恐怕我都不会去
And without balloon animals,you got to ask yourself,
而且 没有动物气球 你也该想想
is it really worth the trip?
值得跑这么一趟吗
How do I look?
我看起来怎样
I'm sorry,I think I swallowed my tongue.
不好意思 我好像把舌头吞下去了
Thank you.
谢谢
It's amazing,my ex-wife would take hours getting ready,
不可思议 我前妻準备起来要好几个钟头
and the end result wouldn't be nearly so...
并且最后的样子也不会...
this.
这样
Maybe I can give her a few tips at the party.
也许聚会上 我可以教她几招心得
Oh,gee.
噢天
She doesn't respond well to tips.
她对心得不感冒
Okay.
好吧
Anything else?
还有其他事吗
even before I say it,I know it sounds insane,but
我知道这可能是庸人自扰 但是
do you think you could put on a few more clothes?
你不觉得 可以再多穿点衣服吗
Don't I look okay? Oh,yeah,yeah,you look terrific.
我这样还行吗 噢 你这样好极了
It's just...
只是
I wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea.
我不想其他人有误解
About?
关于?
About...
关于...
Maybe if you could put on a jacket and a hat.
或者你可以加件外套 戴顶帽子
Do you have a poncho?
你有雨披吗
Are you ashamed of me?
我让你难堪了吗
No.No,I'm proud of you.In fact,I'm so proud that yesterday
不 你让我得意 事实上昨天我得意过度
I almost signed up to be a Christian missionary in the Sudan.
差点被忽悠去了苏丹传教
But you don't want your family and friends to see me.
但你不想让你的家人和朋友见到我
Oh,good,you understand.
很好 你理解了
You know,Alan,my friends are judgmental,too.
知道吗?艾伦 我的朋友们也会评头论足
About what? About you.
关于什么 关于你
None of them get why I'm with you.
没人想得通 为什么我跟了你
Well,uh...
这个 呃
at the risk of shining a light on something better left unexamined...
冒著一语惊醒梦中人的风险
why are you with me?
为什么你会跟了我
Because you're cute and smart and really,really grateful.
因为你聪明可爱 而且慷慨大方
All true.
确实如此
And if my friends can't understand that,well then,tough tomatoes.
所以 如果他们还不理解我 那就太不够意思了
Kandi,you're a remarkable girl.
康迪 你是个好女孩
Thank you.
谢谢
Unfortunately,
不幸的是
so am I.
我也是[个女人] [被骂成是女人 懦弱无用]
Oh,come on,it'll be fun.
別这样啊 肯定很有意思的
Want to have a quickie in the car?
想在车里打个快炮吗
Well,all right.
嗯 好的
But this time let's pull over first.
但这次 我们先靠边停车
Boring!
太没挑战了
So where's Alan? He's supposed to be pitching in at this party.
艾伦在哪儿 他本该在这儿招呼客人
I don't know,but I'm guessing that wherever he is...
不知道 但我估计他这会儿
he's pitching.
是在招呼某人
So I suppose Charlie hasn't told you I have a new man in my life.
可能查理还没告诉你 我有了新的情郎
Oh,good for you,dear.Does the man know yet?
恭喜 亲爱的 那人"发现"你了吗?
Get your own,Red!
自己去取 赤匪
Nice outfit.
行头不错
Thanks.Rose picked it out for me.
谢谢 萝丝帮我挑的
How about that.
原来如此
You know,uh...
知道吗
sometimes when we're having sex,she calls out your name.
我们嘿♥咻♥时 她经常大喊你的名字
No kidding.
开玩笑吧
What about the other times?
那她不喊的时候呢
She makes me call it out.
她让我大喊你的名字
Boy...
伙计
that really wasn't a quickie,was it?
还不算是一次快炮吧
The first one was.
第一炮是的
Anyway,so just to reiterate,
总之 我再重申一下
today is Jake's day,it's not about us.
今天是杰克的生日 和我们无关
I know.
明白
So you could just relax,and don't feel obligated to,you know,
放轻松就行 不用觉得有义务去...
socialize or...
社交 或者...
talk to anybody.
和任何人说话
Don't worry,Alan,I'm not going to embarrass you.
放心吧 艾伦 我不会让你难堪的
Right,right,I know you won't.
太好了 我就知道你不会的
So,to summarize what I reiterated,
最后 总结我刚才反覆说的
we're just going to play it cool,low key,
我们要尽量低调行事
nothing to be gained by drawing attention to ourselves.
不要让任何人注意到咱俩
I got it.
明白了
Just don't ring the doorbell!
別按门铃啊
Sorry we're late,
抱歉 我们来晚了
but...
但 那是因为...
I was having sex with this gorgeous 22-year-old woman!
刚才我在和这位22岁的美女嘿♥咻♥
Wait,wait,wait.
慢著 慢著
Okay.
好了
Come in and say that again.
重新进来 再说一次
Jake?You in here?It's time to do the birthday cake.
杰克?在里面吗?该切蛋糕了
Go away.
別进来
Did you find him? Yeah,he's in the bathroom.
找到他了吗 他在浴室里
Is he okay? I don't know.
他没事吧 不知道
Jake,are you okay?
杰克 你没事吧
I'm fine,go away!
我没事 別进来
He's probably humiliated because his father's dating a Campfire Girl.
可能他没脸见人 因为他老爸搞了个幼齿
Give it a rest,Judith.
別再说了 朱蒂斯
What's going on?
什么情况
Jake won't come out of the bathroom. Jake,come on out,honey.
杰克在浴室里不肯出来 杰克 出来吧宝贝
I can't.
不行
Why not? I just can't.
为什么 就是不行
I was wondering where everyone snuck off to.
我正奇怪 一帮子人都溜哪儿去了
Whatever you're saying about me,you can say right to my face.
无论背后嘀咕我什么 你们都可以当我面直说
This isn't about you,Mom.
这和你无关 妈妈
I wish I could believe that.
鬼才相信
What's the holdup?
什么事耽误了
He won't come out of the bathroom.
他在浴室里不肯出来
Is he sick? Who won't come out of the bathroom?
他生病了吗 谁在浴室里不肯出来
Your grandson.
你的小孙子
Why? Is he mad at me?
为什么 生我的气吗?
Jake,honey,what have you had to eat today?
杰克宝贝 今天你都吃了什么
Just a little coffee and some vitamins.
一点咖啡 一些维生素片
Coffee? You let him have coffee?
咖啡 你让他喝咖啡了?
No! You let him have coffee?
我没有 你让他喝的
He had a sip.
他就抿了一口
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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