好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E01
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:13 p.m.
Hold on!
等一下
Coming!
来了
Holy God!
哦 天啊
Charlie?
查理?
Can you get the door?
可以去开门吗?
Charlie?
查理?
Hang on!
等一下
Charlie!
查理
Oh, great.
这下可好...
I think I just punctured a lung.
我想我刚才刺穿了一边的肺
Don't worry Alan, I've got everything covered.
别担心 艾伦 一切包在我身上
I'm coming!
来了啦
You need to start your report this weekend!
你这个周末要开始写报告
Why? It's not due till next Wednesday! I have plenty of time.
为什么? 下星期三才要交 我有的是时间
That's what you said last time.
你上次也是这样说
No, I didn't. Yes, you did.
我没有 你有
I think you're getting senile.
我想你应该是老年痴呆了
Watch your mouth, young man.
注意你的言辞
I can't watch it. It's under my nose.
我没办法看 因为嘴巴长在鼻子下面
Hello.
哈啰
What happened to you?
你怎么了?
Well, most recently,
这个嘛 最近的话
I was hit in the head by a door.
我被门撞到头
But, before that,
不过 在那之前
I was fixing the satellite dish on the roof and I kind of...
我在屋顶修理天线 然后...
fell.
摔下来
Why didn't you just call the guy?
你干嘛不干脆打电♥话♥找人来修?
Well, for God's sake,
看在老天的份上
Alan, how do you intend to look after him this weekend?
艾伦 你这个周末打算怎么照顾他?
I am in excruciating pain,
我现在极度的痛苦
but I appreciate your concern.
不过我感谢你的关心
Well, you could have picked up a phone and given me a heads-up.
你应该先打个电♥话♥让我知道一下
Pick up the phone?
打个电♥话♥?
Judith, needed barbecue tongs to take a leak.
茱蒂丝 我要用烤肉夹才能尿尿
Can you look after Jake or not?
那你到底能不能照顾杰克?
Well, Charlie said he'd look after him.
查理说他会照顾
Oh, like hell he will.
最好是他会
There is no way I'm going to
我绝对不会
let your degenerate brother be responsible for my son.
把我儿子交给你那堕落的哥哥
Oh, sure. Don't ask me what I want.
喔 没错 别问我要什么
Just boss me around like you're my boss or something.
把我当成狗一样使唤来使唤去就对了
Charlie will be fine. Have a good weekend.
就交给查理吧 祝你们周末愉快
Thanks.
谢谢
You, too.
也祝你愉快
Can we go out to dinner tonight?
我们今晚可以去外面吃吗?
Do I look like I'm in any kind of shape to go to dinner?
你认为我身体这样子能出门吗?
I don't know. I'm not a doctor.
我不知道 我又不是医生
The The answer is no.
答案是"不行"
Okay.
好吧
Then can we go to the video store
那我们可以去影带出租店
and rent the new "Final Fantasy"?
租最新的"太空战士"吗?
Jake, I hurt myself. I'm in a lot of pain.
杰克 我受伤了 痛的不得了
So? When I took a soccer ball to the nads,
那算什么? 当我被足球打到睪丸时
I was in a lot of pain and all my coach said was, "Walk it off."
我都快痛死了 教练却说: "是男人就站起来"
Well, you can't just walk this off.
但我的情况不是说站就能站
Not with that attitude.
你这种态度当然不行
Hey, there he is.
嘿 你来了
How's it going, buddy?
怎么了 老兄?
My life stinks.
我的人生烂透了
Cheer up. You're still a kid.
看开点 你还只是个小孩
It's going to get much worse.
长大后就会更烂了
Where have you been?
你去哪了?
Taking a nap.
午睡一下
Why?
为什么?
I find it refreshes me.
因为我发现这样可以消除疲劳
You said you were going to take care of everything.
你说一切都包在你身上
Yeah. So?
是啊 然后咧?
So, while you were sleeping, I had to answer the door.
然后你在睡觉时 我得去应门
Do you realize how petty you sound right now?
你知道你这样讲会让人 觉得你很小气吗?
Relax. Lie down. I got it covered.
放轻松 躺下来 都包在我身上
No, you don't.
不 并没有
Nothing is covered. It's all coverless.
你什么事也没做 没有任何事是"包"在你身上的
Now, there's a life that stinks.
看吧 这里有一个人生烂透的
So, what's on the agenda? What do you want to do?
那你有什么安排? 你想做什么?
I want to go out to dinner.
我想去外面吃晚餐
Yeah? Well, I want my own talk show.
喔? 我要在家看脱口秀
You'll eat what we've got.
家里有什么你就吃什么吧
Why can't we go out?
为什么不能去外面吃?
Alan, I can't deal with this. Talk to your son.
艾伦 我搞不定 你跟他讲吧
That's it? You... you're done covering?
什么跟什么? 你...你说一切包在你身上的
I didn't know he was going be impossible.
我没想到他会这么难搞
Hey, don't talk about me like I'm not here.
别说我坏话 好像我不在这里似的
Keep yappin', and you won't be.
你再继续鬼叫 我就让你真的不在这里
Charlie, just take him to dinner.
查理 你就带他去吃晚餐吧
Why should I?
为什么? 见鬼
'Cause he's not going to shut up till he gets what he wants.
因为他不达目的就绝不闭嘴
That's true. I'll drive you crazy.
没错 我会把你逼疯
Yeah? Well, do your worst.
是吗? 那你尽量使坏吧
If we go out to dinner, there's nothing to clean up.
如果我们出去吃晚餐 厨房♥就不需要清理
We're not going out to dinner.
我们没有要出去吃晚餐
You usually want to go out to dinner.
你常常都出去吃晚餐
Not tonight.
今晚不去
You're not punishing me. You're just punishing yourself.
你这样不是在惩罚我 是在惩罚你自己
Back off, bobblehead.
滚远一点 小鬼头
Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
拜托啦 我会很可爱
We're not going.
我们没有要去
Why not?
为什么?
This conversation's over.
对话到此结束
Not if I keep talking.
我继续靠北就不会结束
So where do you want to eat?
你想去哪里吃?
Clucky's.
喀喀鸡
What's Clucky's?
什么是喀喀鸡?
Zesty fire-roasted chicken with Grandma Clucky's secret herbs and spices.
火烤鸡肉加上独特秘方的香草与调味料
All right. Where is it?
好 在哪儿
There are several convenient locations.
附近有好几个点
Like where?
比如说?
I don't know. I just sit in the car.
我不知道 我都呆坐在车子里
Well, I've never seen a Clucky's around here.
我没看过附近有什么喀喀鸡
How about a pizza? No.
要不要吃比萨? 不要
Burgers? No.
汉堡? 不要
Sushi?
寿司? 不要
Italian? No.
意大利菜? 不要
Chinese. No.
中国菜? 不要
Clucky's? No.
喀喀鸡? 不要
You're not even listening!
你根本没在听
I mean, yes.
我是说 好
Clucky's.
喀喀鸡
Well, forget it.
算了吧
I'm not driving all over this city hoping to stumble across a Clucky's.
我不想为了找喀喀鸡 而在城里开车到处晃
This isn't the Clucky's my mom takes me to.
这里不是妈常带我去的那家
No kidding.
不会吧
Where are we anyway?
这里是哪里啊?
It's called Watts.
这里叫"瓦次"镇
Now hurry up and finish your chicken.
赶快把你的鸡肉吃完
I like the Cajun Clucky's better.
我比较喜欢法式喀喀鸡
Good for you.
真有你的
Can I go back and get some Cajun Clucky's?
我可以再去点一些法式喀喀鸡吗?
No, eat what you got.
不行 吃你眼前的
But I like the Cajun Clucky's better.
但是我比较喜欢法式喀喀鸡
Then why did you order the regular Clucky?
那你刚才为何要点一般的喀喀鸡?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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