好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E16
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:17 p.m.
Two and a Half Men,Season 03,episode 16.
好汉两个半 第03季第16集.
Morning. Morning.
早安 早安
What are you making?
你做什么东西
Breakfast.
早餐
Have you considered orange juice and a piece of toast?
考虑过橙汁和烤面包没
It's in there.
都在里面了
We got any marshmallows?
家里有软糖吗
And he wonders why he gets diarrhea.
你就等着拉稀吧
Oh,man.
噢 衰啊
You forget to put the lid on again?
又忘加盖子啦
Maybe.
好像是
Well,clean it up. Okay.
自己清理干净 好吧
Is Jake up yet?
杰克起床了没
He's in the kitchen.
他在厨房♥里
Has he been looking for me?
他找过我没有
Are you a marshmallow?
你是软糖吗
What?
什么
He hasn't been looking for you. Oh,good.
他没找过你 那就好
Sorry,I'm late,
抱歉 回来晚了
but Kandi and I had morning sex.
早上和康迪嘿♥咻♥了
Good for you. Twice.
不错啊 两次
Congratulations.
恭喜
She didn't even wake me up for the first one.
第一次我还没醒 她就偷偷摸了上来
I almost missed it.
我差点错过战斗
Well,I've always said a 22-year-old girl is like a good carpenter:
都说22岁的女孩好比鲁班
no wood gets wasted.
总能"木"尽其用 [死睡的木头人]
Well,
那个
I wouldn't put it so crudely,but,yeah.
我不想显得幼稚 但...确实是
Morning,buddy. Morning.
早安 伙计 早安
Why do you let him use the blender?
为什么让他用搅拌器
I'm hoping he'll eventually stumble into a margarita.
想让他误打误撞 搅出一杯玛格丽塔酒
Hey,here's a fun fact.
嗨 一个有趣的事实
You're sleeping with a girl who was born when you were in junior high.
你睡了一个 出生在你初中时代的妞儿
And yet there's a good chance she lost her virginity before you did.
有可能她失身的时候 你还是处♥男♥
And here's another fun fact.
另一个有趣的事实
I'll bet she's had sex with more girls than you,too.
我敢说她睡过的女人 比你睡过的还多
That is a fun fact.
果然是有趣的事实
And you know what else?
还有 你知道吗
Here youth is like an aphrodisiac.I feel younger.I feel more...
她的青春活力就像春♥药♥ 我觉得年轻了好多 觉得更加
oh,I don't know how to describe it.
喔 真不知怎么形容
Manly.
有男人气概
I know what you mean.
我知道你的意思
And I am performing at what can only be described as a very enhanced level.
我真是超水平发挥
Right.
明白
You know,between-the-sheets-wise.
你知道的 在床战中
You don't have to tell me. Yes,I do.
你没必要告诉我 有必要
I have to tell everybody.
我还要告诉所有人
Hey,I'm just impressed that you can keep up with her.
嗨 我只是惊讶 你能吃得消她
I thought by now,
现在我还觉得
she'd have worn you down into few vertebrae & a pool of spinal fluid.
她应该弄得你不成人形才对
You know,I exercise,I eat right...
你知道的 我坚持锻炼 饮食有道
And of course,I've always had
并且 我一直都有
a vast untapped reservoir of sexual energy bubbling under the surface.
未被发掘的性♥爱♥潜能 暗流汹涌 蓄势待发
Truth be told,
结果就是
you could drill anywhere and hit a gusher.
随便哪儿钻个洞 小宇宙都会爆发
Morning,brother.We're here to tell you about the good news.
早安 兄弟 我们来告诉你一个好消息
Yeah,okay,but,my news first.
好的 但先听我的消息
See,I'm dating this 22-year-old woman...
听着我正和一个22岁的女人约会
incredible.
爽歪歪
Hey,Charlie.
嗨 查理
Hey,Rose,what's up?
嗨 萝丝 什么事
I was just takin' a walk on the beach with my boyfriend,
我正好和男友在海边散步
and we thought we'd stop by.
顺便来拜访一下
Come on up,lamb chop.
快上来 "烤羊排"
This is ridiculous.
太没道理了
I still don't understand why we can't use the stairs over there.
我搞不懂 为什么不走那边的楼梯
Don't try to change me,Gordon.
別试着改变我 弋顿
Sorry.
抱歉
So,how's it goin' with you two?
那么 你们俩进展如何
It's just great.
非常好
Gordon's my soul mate.
弋顿是我的真心知己
He completes me.We're inseparable.
我们很互补 难舍难分
Wait here.
在这儿等着
I want to talk to Charlie alone.
我要和查理单独聊会儿
Charlie?
查理?
Coming.
来了
"Lamb chop"?
"烤羊排" [双关 忠厚的排骨男]
I'm hot and juicy.
我热辣多汁呀[双关:风趣饱满]
What's up?
什么事
Don't play innocent with me.
別装着若无其事的样子了
I can see the hurt in your eyes.
我能看到 你的眼睛里写著"受伤"
What?
啥
You have to let me go,Charlie.
你必须让我离开 查理
Okay.
好啊
I'm with Gordon now.I've moved on.
我和弋顿在一起了 我已重新上路
Good.
很好
And I know it may be hard for you to hear this,but
我知道你可能听了会不舒服 但
he satisfies all my needs.
他就是我想要的
Well,he is hot and juicy.
是啊 "风趣饱满"
Oh,Charlie
噢 查理
I can't bear to see you like this.
我实在不忍♥心见你这个样子
Like what?
什么样子
I know I shouldn't,but...
我知道这不应该 但
I'm going to give you one last chance.
我将给你最后的一次机会
One last chance for what?
最后的什么机会啊
You're going to make me say it,aren't you?
你一定要我说出来吗
Say what?
说出来什么啊
Listen closely.
听仔细了喔
Once I go,I'm gone.
一旦我离开 就永远消失了
Really? I've never seen that side of you.
是吗 我从没见你真消失过
I've never had a man like Gordon.
那是之前没遇到弋顿
I believe you.
我相信你
So?
所以
So,what?
所以什么啊
Who's that?
那是谁
That's Gordon,my boyfriend.
那是弋顿 我男友
How come he's not allowed in?
为什么不许他进来
I'm trying to avoid an awkward situation.
我不想气氛变得尴尬
Too late.
晚了
You bringing him to my birthday party?
你会带他来我的生日聚会吗
Oh,what do you think,Charlie?
你觉得呢 查理
Is the wound too fresh?
会给你伤口撒盐吗
I think I can handle it.
我觉得我没问题
Cool.
酷
Okay,
好吧
I'm going to go now.
现在我要走了
All right.
好的
But before I do,
但走之前
I think we need to
我想我们需要 最后明确一下
decide just where we stand.
各自的立场"站位"
You're kidding.Rose has a boyfriend?
开玩笑吧 萝丝有男友了
Yep.
是滴
A real one or like "Toby the astronaut"?
是个真人 还是"太空人托比"这种的
No,this one's real.
是个真人
What's he like?
看起来如何
Nice guy.
老实人
Has no idea how close he is to the wood chipper.
不知道自己正与"魔"同行
Has no idea how close he is to the wood chipper.
不知道自己正与"魔"同行
Hello? Alan,you home?
喂 艾伦你在家吗
Kandi?What are you doing here?
你怎么来了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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