好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S03E18

Part 3 Nov. 17, 2020, 12:17 p.m.

Oh,oh,good.I was hoping it'd be you.
哦很好我正希望是你打来的
What?Of course I remember the Alamo.
什么我当然记得边城英烈传
Oh,oh,oh,you mean alimo-ny.
哦哦你是说赡养金
I was thinking,uh,Davey Crockett,Jim Bowie...
我在我在想戴维·克洛科特吉姆·鲍维
Oh,oh,come on,Judith,why can't we share a few chuckles?
哦得了吧朱蒂斯为什么我们不能一起说笑呢
Oh,oh,no,no,I agree.There's nothing chuckle-worthy about a subpoena.
哦哦不不我同意没有什么比传票还要好笑的了
Well,you know what?I will tell you what.
好吧知道吗我告诉你
Uh,I will bring you the check,uh,when I pick up Jake.
嗯我去接杰克的时候我会把支票带给你的
I promise.
我保证
Okay,okay,bye-bye.
好的好的再见
You've got to pick up Jake.
你要去接杰克
Why? 'Cause I don't have her money.
为什么因为我没有钱给她
It's in Kandi's mouth and Kandi's car.
钱在康迪的嘴里和康迪的车里
What about the treasure of the Sierra Madre over there?
那边的宝藏挖怎么样?
This?
这个
This is nothing.One car payment and maybe a bikini wax.
这什么都不是一次车资再加一次比基尼腊
Bikini wax? A girl's got to keep those up.
比基尼腊? 女孩子就是需要
It's a landscaping issue.
就像打理门前的花草
You just got to buy me some time with Judith.
你得帮我拖住朱蒂斯
What are you going to do with more time?
让我拖住她你要干吗
You can't sell your blood; your ex-wife already took that.
你又不能卖♥♥血已经被你前妻吸光了
And if you sell your sperm,what's the point in dating Kandi?
如果你卖♥♥精♥子♥ 那你和康迪在一起还有什么意义
Well,uh,for your information,I do have other options.
好吧你这么说的话我还有其他选择
Like what?
比如说
Well,I've been looking at,uh,uh,part-time work,
好吧我在找兼♥职♥
and,uh,I have some very promising auctions on eBay.
还有我在易趣上有一些很不错的拍卖♥♥品
Oh,really.
哦真的吗
What are you auctioning?
你在拍卖♥♥什么
Well,a-a few rare books,a couple of lithos,a set of golf clubs...
嗯一些稀有书籍一些石版画一些高尔夫球杆
Since when do you play golf?
你什么时候开始玩高尔夫了
Uh,well,technically,they're your clubs.
嗯好吧技术上来说是你的球杆
You're stealing from me?!
你从我这里偷的
Oh,come on,you only bought 'em so you could go to Palm Springs and pick up lesbians.
哦別这样你买♥♥来只是为了去棕榈泉钓女同志
This is ridiculous.Why don't you just ask me to lend you some money?
这太乱来了你为什么不干脆问我借钱呢
Would you lend me money? Absolutely...
你会借钱给我吗当然
if I hadn't taken a bath on the Super Bowl.
要不是我押超级碗[橄榄球比赛]赌场失意
Well,I need to do this by myself anyway.You know,I still have my pride.
好吧无论如何我还是要靠我自己我还是有自尊
Wow.
哇哦
You really think that,huh?
你真的这么觉得吗
Well,
好吧
it doesn't matter as long as I have Kandi.
这不重要只要我有康迪
She looks up to me.She-she thinks I'm special.
她很钦佩我她她觉得我很特別
She thinks I'm smart.
她觉得我聪明
She thinks gazpacho is Pinocchio's father.
她觉得西班牙凉菜汤是皮诺槽的爸爸
What can I say,Charlie?I'm crazy about her.
我能说什么查理我对她疯狂了
All right,I certainly don't want to
好吧我真的不想
stand in the way of your happiness.
阻止你去追寻快乐
Thank you.
谢谢
One question,though Yeah?
还有一个问题什么
What are you going to tell Jake when he notices his change jug is gone?
要是杰克发现他的零钱罐不见了你准备怎么回答他
Oh,uh,
哦啊
it'll be okay.I left him a postdated check.
没事的我留了一张填迟日期的支票给他
It'll be good by the time he goes to college.
到他进大学的时候我应该就有钱了
Yeah,
对
like that kid's going to college.
说的好像他能进大学
Perfect.Just perfect.
完美太完美了
Judith,I know what you're thinking.. I'll tell you what I'm thinking.
朱蒂斯我知道你在想什么我告诉你我在想什么
I'm thinking your brother's a weaselly little coward who doesn't
我在想你弟弟是个胆小鬼
have the guts to face to his responsibilities.. Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa!
没有勇气去面对自己的责任哇哦哇哦哇哦
There's a little more to this than meets the eye.
还有一些你没看到的
Oh,really?And I suppose you're going to explain it to me?
哦真的吗你是要向我解释一下吗?
I'm going to try,if you'll calm down for a minute and listen.
我会试试的如果你冷静下来听我说
All right,I'm listening.
好吧我在听
Are you calm?
你冷静了吗
I'm listening.
我在听
Okay.
好吧
You know why Alan's not here?
你知道为什么艾伦不在这里吗
Because he's ashamed Well,he should be.
因为他感到羞耻他应该感到羞耻
Judith,that's not listening.
朱蒂斯你这不是在听
He's ashamed because no matter how hard he works,he just can't seem to get ahead.
他羞耻是因为不管他怎么努力工作他就是不能成功
You know his business is falling apart,don't you?
你知道他的生意失败了是吧
Really?He hasn't said anything Because he's too proud.
真的吗他什么都没有说过因为他太骄傲
Poor guy lost all his chiropractic walk-ins
他所有客人都被
to an unlicensed massage parlor that opened up right between him
一家无证按♥摩♥厅抢走了那按♥摩♥厅就开在
and the Jamba Juice.
他和街客中间
You're kidding.
你在开我玩笑
I'm deadly serious.
我非常的认真
Who's going to pay to have their spine adjusted when,for half the price,
付一半的价钱就可以舒展那玩意儿
they can get their dingus dusted?
谁会付钱给他去舒展脊椎?
Well,I wouldn't know about that.
我不知道那些
As it turns out,I'm a bit of an expert...
想不到我算半个专家...
and I'm telling you,
还有我告诉你
he's going under.
还不止
Oh,my God.
我我的上帝
Did you know he took a parttime job? No.
你知道他开始兼♥职♥了吗不知道
But you didn't hear it from me.
我可没告诉过你
And please,please,don't say anything to Jake.
还有千万千万不要和杰克说任何事情
The last thing Alan wants is to look like a
艾伦最最不愿意的就是
failure in the eyes of that
成为那个小男孩眼中的
little boy in there.
废物
Of course not.
我当然不会说
I won't say a word Thank you.
我什么都不会说的谢谢你
Hey.
嘿
Where's Dad?
爸爸呢
Just go with Uncle Charlie.
跟著查理叔叔走吧
Okay.
好的
Why is Mom crying?
为什么妈妈在哭?
Because I'm good.
因为我牛
I'm very,very good.
非常非常牛
I'm really getting tired of pizza.
我真的开始厌倦披萨了
Well...I'm off to work.
嗯我要去工作了
Get used to it.
习惯吧
Enjoy-a your pizza.Scusi,signora.
享受你的披萨吧让一下太太
Alan,what are you doing?
你在干吗
Oh,Judith,I swear to God,I will get you your alimony
哦朱蒂斯我向上帝保证我会给你赡养费的
as soon as possible.. No,please,don't worry about it.
尽快不不要不用担心
Really?
真的
Charlie told me what's going on.
查理已经告诉我发生了什么事情
I don't need the money right now.
我现在不需要钱
Really?
真的?
I may not have mentioned it,but when my grandmother passed away,
也许我没告诉你但是我祖母去世的时候
she left me a pretty substantial inheritance.
给我留下了一笔相当丰厚的遗产
Really?
真的?
In fact,
事实上
I want you to have this.
我想给你这个
Really?
真的?
Pay me when you can.The important thing is you get back on your feet.
等你有能力了再还我重要的是你东山再起
I'm a so happy.
我真开心
Hi,Huggy Bear.
嘿抱抱熊
Boy,I love the new car you got me.
男人我喜欢你给我买♥♥的新车
Hi,Mrs.Harper.
你好哈珀夫人
Doesn't he look cute in a mustache?
他贴胡子可爱吗
I'm a so sad.
我很伤心
How's that pride doing?
你的自尊怎么样了
It's nice they let you take a few home.
他们真好还让你带回来
It's in lieu of health insurance.
这是用来代替健康保险的
Did you know they actually have a little machine
知道吗他们真的有一个小机器
that shoots the cheese into the crust?
把奶酪射进面包层
Is that so? Yep.
真的? 是的
It's a little high-pressure gun.
是一把小高压枪