好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E11
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:16 p.m.
damn.
靠
Anyway,after lunch I took a little nap...
总之 午饭之后 我小睡了一会儿
and woke up in Santa's Village of the Damned.
等我醒来 万恶的圣诞村 横空出世
Why do you have to be so cynical?
为什么你要如此悲观厌世
There is nothing wrong with decorating your home
装饰你家没什么不妥
to show a little holiday spirit.
只是添些节日的喜气而已
But it's not her home,is it?
但这不是她的家 对吧
Well,no.
不是
Whose home is it,Alan?
那是谁的家 艾伦
Okay,fine,I will have a talk with her.
好吧 我去和她谈谈
Hold it.What?
且慢 怎么
After dinner,you nimrod.
吃完饭再去 你个弱智
Anybody have room for another eclair?
谁还能再吃甜点？
Not unless I unbutton my pants.
除非我解开裤子扣
Mine are already unbuttoned.
我已经解开了
I took mine off when she brought out the marshmallow yams.
之前软糖糕端上来时 我已经解开了
Okay,then.What do you say we all go into
好啊 那我们都去客厅
the living room and sing some Christmas carols?
唱一些圣诞颂歌♥如何
You mean stand up?
你是指 站起来
I don't think I can.
我可能站不起来了
I'm not wearing pants.
我裤子都掉了
Come on,you guys,what's Christmas without caroling?
不是吧 圣诞不唱颂歌♥ 算什么节日呀
Hanukkah?
光明节?[犹太节日]
Sandy? Something wrong?
珊迪怎么了
Who moved the reindeer?
谁动过雪撬鹿了
I don't know that one,but I'll wing it.
我不知道 但我能即兴配乐
*Who moved the reindeer?
* 谁动了雪撬鹿
*The savior's come
* 就好自为之吧
*He 's coming to check on the rein
* 他要去检查套绳了
No,no,no.
不 不 不
These reindeer.What about them?
这些雪撬鹿 他们怎么了
Donner and Blitzen are out of order.
唐纳和布利岑次序乱了
Somebody's been playing with them.So?
谁动过他们了 那么又怎么了
So I wanna know who it was.
那么我想知道是谁动的
Jake? I didn't do it.
杰克 我没动
Charlie?
查理?
Oh,all right,I may have used one of them as a swizzle stick.
好吧 也许我拿过其中一个 当作搅拌棒用过
Well,no harm done.
好吧 没造成损坏
If you must play with them,please remember...
如果你要再动他们 请牢记以下次序
...it's Dasher,Dancer,Prancer,Vixen,Comet,Cupid,Donner,Blitzen.
[8只雪撬鹿的名字和队列次序]
Okay.
好的
Got it.Say it.
知道了 说出来
Okay,then.
那就好
"The Little Drummer Boy."
《小鼓手》
Alan.Why aren't you asleep?
艾伦 你为什么不睡?
I don't know.
不知道
Just excited about Christmas,I guess.
可能 圣诞节挺兴奋
Well,Santa won't come while you're awake.
我们醒著 圣诞老人是不会来的
Yeah.Yeah,I've heard that.
是啊 有这说法
Now close your eyes
闭上眼睛
and let visions of sugarplums dance through your wee little head.
想像甜蜜的场景就在眼前
Okay.
好的
Oh,no.What?
噢不 怎么
I forgot to put out cookies and milk for Santa.
忘了给圣诞老人泡牛奶饼干了
You're kidding,right?
开玩笑吧
Do you want coal in your stocking?
你要他在你袜子里放煤块吗
because That's what you're gonna get
因为那将是你应得的
if Santa doesn't find a snack when he comes chimney
如果圣诞老人滑下烟囪没找到吃的
I see.
明白了
So you believe in the vengeful,Old Testament Santa.
你信仰的可能是 "旧约全书"里那个圣诞老人
Are you mocking Christmas?
你在嘲笑圣诞节吗
No,no,no.You know what?
噢不 听我说
I'll take care of the milk and cookies.
我去泡牛奶饼干
You just relax and go to sleep.
你放松心情继续睡
He sees us when we're sleeping,you know?
知道吗 我们睡着的时候 他会盯着我们看的
Right.
没错
I don't make the rules.
圣诞节又不是我说了算
Okay.
好的
*Oh,God,oh,God
* 天啊天啊 天啊天啊
Charlie? Hang on.
查理? 稍等
Okay,
好了
I'm ready for more pie.
再多的馅饼都不怕了
We have a serious problem here.
有个严重的问题
We're out of pie?
没馅饼了?
Will you listen to me,there's something wrong with Sandy.
你先听我说 珊迪可能有毛病
Well,didn't we know that when she agreed to sleep with you?
没毛病会同意跟你上♥床♥吗?
No,no,even wronger than that.She actually believes in Santa Claus.
不 比那更糟 她竟然相信 圣诞老人是真人
Really? Yeah.
真的? 是啊
aw
哇
But we still have pie?
但我们还有馅饼吧
Yes,we still have pie.
是的 还有馅饼
Then what are we doing up here?
那我们还在这儿干嘛
I guess I could have a little sliver.
估计我还能吃一小块
You know what?
知道吗
I think something's wrong with Sandy.
我觉得珊迪可能有毛病
I just said that.Do you ever listen to me?
我刚说过 你有听我说话吗
Sandy,sweetheart?You okay?
珊迪宝贝 你还好吗
He's not coming.
他不会来了
Who's not coming? Listen to this.
谁不会来了 仔细听
Santa.
圣诞老人
Every year,I try to make things perfect.
每年 我都尽力想让诸事完美
And every year I fail.
每年 我都失败
Mama was right.
妈妈说的对
I am a naughty girl.
我是个不争气的小女孩
Come on,Alan.
来吧 艾伦
Where are we going?
我们去哪儿
I want you to teach this naughty girl a lesson.
我要你教训一下 这个不争气的小女孩
She needs to be punished.
她需要惩罚
You lucky dog.
你这幸运的死狗
What? I'm not going in there.She's nuts.
什么 我才不去 她疯了
Yeah,so? Sex with crazy chicks is great.
是啊 那又怎样 长得靓又上得床
Just make sure you pick positions where
只是确保换体♥位♥时
you can see what her hands are doing.
能看到她手在哪儿 [参考电影 "本能
No.No,that would be taking advantage of a mentally unbalanced person.
不 那是去佔智障人士的便宜
Oh,Alan,that boat has sailed.
噢 艾伦 机会稍纵即逝
You might as well hop on board for a farewell cruise.
不想跳上去做个告別观光吗
I don't think so.It just wouldn't be right.
我不这样认为 那不合适
Come on,Alan,
来吧 艾伦
I'm ready.
我准备好了
Good night.
晚安
Okay,
好吧
pie for everybody.
馅饼无限♥量♥
Merry Christmas
圣诞快乐
Are you out of your mind?
你脑子进水了吗
You've been nagging us for years to spend Christmas with you.
妈妈 你唠叨我们不和你过圣诞好多年了
Only because I knew you'd never show up.
那是因为我知道你们肯定不会来
Well,we had to get out of the house.
现在我们必须离开我家
Y eah,the walls are thin and I'm impressionable.
是啊 墙壁很薄 我很敏感
Hold on.
稍等
Stanley,put your pants on.We'll exchange gifts later.
史坦利穿上裤子 我们稍后交换礼物
Come on in.
进来吧
Dear God,look at the size of your ass.
上帝啊 瞧你那屁♥股♥的尺寸
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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