好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E10
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:16 p.m.
is how much I love you.
我是多么的爱你
You told the waiter you loved him too.
你和服务生说 你也爱他
He was a very good waiter.
他是个优秀的服务生
And,it's also important for you to know,
还有很重要的是
that you can be anything you want.
你可以成为任何你想成为的东西
Anything in the world.
世界上的任何一样东西
No I can't.
不 我不行
You're right,that's a crock.
你是对的 那是胡扯
But...
但是
I love you
我爱你
and you have cheeks like a beaver.
而且 你的小脸真像海貍
Now go to bed.
去睡觉吧
You know that
知道吗
we've been learning about alcohol abuse at school,
我们学校里讲过酗酒过度的后果
and if you ever need a new liver you can have half of mine.
如果你的肝脏坏了要换 我可以给你半个
Hey hey hey hey.I thought we had a deal.
嘿 嘿 好像我们有约在先
Oh yeah.Sorry dad.
哦对 抱歉 老爸
Best 5 bucks I ever spent.
花的最明智的5块钱
Now come on...let's tuck you into bed.
走吧...我带你去睡觉
Why can't my mother appreciate me?
为什么我的亲妈妈 就不能称赞我
A-all I wanted was one sincere "Atta boy!".
我想要的只是一句由衷的"好样的"
I...s that too much to ask?
这要求过分吗
Atta boy!
好样的
You know,that looks like the last of the scallops.
那看着像是 最后上桌的扇贝
Now all we gotta do is wait for dessert.
下面该等餐后甜点了
Rainbow sherbet.
彩虹露
Oh,that should be pretty.
吐出来一定很漂亮
You know,
知道吗
I have spent my entire life trying to please mom.
我耗费一生的时间 去试着取悅老妈
To make her proud of me,but no more.
让她为我骄傲但现在结束了
I...am done trying.
我不会再试了
Good for you.
祝贺你
Oh,uh,excuse me.
哦 不好意思
No.
没出来
You know,if you put the seat down
知道吗 把马桶圈放下来
it's easier to rest your arms.
你的手臂会舒服一些
Oh,you're right.
你是对的
You're a wise man Charlie Harper.
你真有脑子 老哥
Well I do have a few pockets of specialized knowledge.
我确实很有些 独到的生活小窍门
Some might call it wisdom.
有些 我称作"智慧"
And it seems warmer too.
而且马桶圈暖暖的
It's further away from the cooling effect of the water.
它远离下面的冷水
Not to mention the residual body heat
更別提千万次蹲坑
accrued from thousands of ass hours.
累积下来的体温残留了
Wow!
哇
You've really given a lot of thought to this.
你还真仔细研究过
I'm thinking of writing a book.
我正考虑写本书
And I will read it.
那我一定拜读
Thank you.
谢谢
You know what I am,Charlie?
你知道我是什么样人吗 查理
Yes.
知道
I am a pathological people pleaser.
我是个病态的取悅別人的人
Oh,I had an entirely different answer.
我想的答案完全相反
But more accurately,
更精确一点地说
I...am a woman pleaser.
我是一个取悅女人的人
No Alan,I am a woman pleaser.
不 艾伦 我才是一个取悅女人的人
You're a lonely guy speckled with vomit.
你是个吐了自己一身秽物的"娘泡"
No,I'm not speaking physically,
不 我不是说生理上
I'm speaking psychologically.
我是说心理上
With mom,with Judith.
取悅老妈 取悅朱蒂斯
I with every woman I've ever met.
取悅每一个我遇到的女人
I...have twisted myself into knots
我殚精竭虑扭曲自己
just trying to-trying to get 'em to like me.
只是想让她们喜欢我
I mean my education,my job,my clothes.
我的学业 我的工作 我的衣服
My car,my very behavior...
我的车 我的每一个细微动作
all chosen simply to get women to a-approve o-of me.
都是精挑细选 目的只为了她们能认可我
And how has that worked out for you?
效果怎么样
They don't approve of me.
她们并不认可
But I am going to change,Charlie.
但我要改变这种状况 查理
I am no longer going to grovel
我不会再卑躬屈膝
for mom's approval,or-or the approval of any,any woman.
去乞求妈妈 或他任何女人的认可
I am going to live the remainder of my life with pride.
我的余生要活得有自尊
And-and a quiet noble dignity.
和一点高贵的尊严
But first I'll sleep with my head in the crapper.
"但首先 让我先抱着马桶睡一觉"
Can I make you some oatmeal?
我给你做点麦片粥吧
I got cereal.
我吃的就是麦片圈
I know.
我知道
I just thought you might enjoy something hot
只是以为你会喜欢吃点热的
and quiet.
和吃起来无声的
No.
不用了
Do you have a hangover?
宿醉是不是很难受
Yeah...
是
drinking that much was a stupid thing to do.
醉酒是件愚蠢的事情
Then why did you do it?
那你为什么要喝
I don't know,Jake.Maybe I'm just stupid.
不知道 杰克 或许我就是个白♥痴♥
Or,maybe you just don't apply yourself.
或许 你就是管不住自己
Can we stop talking for a while?
你能收声一会儿吗
Okay.
好吧
Although I do like a little conversation at breakfast.
尽管我很喜欢在早餐的时候聊天
Mornin' everybody.Ssshh.He's hungovered.
大家 早上好 嘘 他宿醉难受
Oh yeah....
噢 我把这茬忘了...
Well,isn't this an ironic turn of events?
这样的位置互换是不是很讽刺
Me,waking up feeling all bright and chipper,and you...
"我"早上起来感觉神清气爽
looking like a stool sample.
而"你"看起来像坨大便
Not a big irony fan,huh?
不太适应讽刺玩笑
Charlie...Yeah?
查理...什么?
Either stop talking,
要么別说话
or at least have the decency to kill me.
要么请体面的杀了我
Boy,I'm never gonna drink.
天啊 我永远都不要喝酒
Good job.
做得好
You scarred the kid for life.
你吓著孩子一辈子了
Now he's gonna have to face Junior High sober.
现在他的初中生活会"冷静到底"了
Just tell me one thing.
告诉我一件事情
What's that?
什么事
Did I really tell the waiter I loved him last night?
我昨晚真对服务生说"我爱你"了吗
You had to say something after a kiss like that.
那样一个热吻后 你总得说点什么
God!
天啊
I took care of your bathroom.
我清理了你的洗手间
Thank you.
谢谢
I hope you like the smell of pine-scented puke.
希望你喜欢松香加呕吐物的味道
So,did I do anything else I'm gonna regret?
那我还做了其他我会后悔的事吗
Well,you paid for dinner.
你买♥♥单了
Oh,geez!
噢 上帝
And after we got home,there was some
我们到家后 你还涕泪俱下
drunken blubbering about how you weren't gonna grovel
说以后不会再卑躬屈膝
for the approval of women anymore.
去取悅女人们
Oh right.
对啊
I almost forgot.
差点都忘了
I...had a life changing epiphany last night.
我昨天对生活有所顿悟
Was this before or after you yacked up a hunk of your esophagus?
是在你吐出一堆肠子之前 还是之后
No no,it's no joke.
不 这不是玩笑
I...'ve reached a turning point.
我到了人生转折点
From this day on,
从今天起
my actions will no longer be predicated on
我的生活不会再为
pleasing the castrating mother figures in my life.
取悅那些"险妻狼母"而忙碌
What's so funny?
有什么好笑的
Nothing.
没什么
I think she doubts your epiphany.
我想她是在质疑你的顿悟
She'll see.
她会看到的
They'll all see.
你们都会看到的
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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