好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E19
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:18 p.m.
Here.
在这儿
She looks a little wall-eyed...
她有一点翻白眼
but that's because they had to use a Taser to get her out of the shed.
那是因为他们得用电击枪 把她从车♥库♥里弄出来
The shed?
车♥库♥?
She was running a meth lab.
她开着毒品实验室
But you gotta admit,she is nice and slender.
但你得承认 她人又好又苗条
Thanks,but pass Think about it.
谢谢 不过算了 考虑一下吧
Visiting days are Wednesdays and Fridays.
探视日期时周三和周五
But if you decide to go,be a sport,take her a pie.
如果你决定要去 厚道一点 带个派给她
Right
好的
Make it something chewy.
做点有嚼劲的
The prison dentist set her up with some real nice teeth.
监狱的牙医给她重装了副好牙
Okay.Now this isn't my lamp.
这不是我的灯
What happened to my lamp?
我的灯哪儿去了?
Unless this is my lamp.
除非这是我的灯
Yeah,this is my lamp.
对 这就是我的灯
I bought this lamp to go with my couch.
我买♥♥这灯来配沙发的
My tan couch.
我的棕褐色沙发
Worst day of my life.
这辈子最糟的一天
Yeah,well,it was no picnic for me either.
是啊 对我来说也不轻松
I don't know who you are anymore
我都不认识你了
You wanna know who I am?
你想知道我是谁吗?
I'm the idiot paying you $1 0 an hour to miss phone calls.
我是每小时付你10元 让你不接电♥话♥的那个笨蛋
Nap in the bathroom.
你在盥洗室打盹
Use my x-ray machine on Mexican food.
用我的X光机验墨西哥食物
Well,I wanted to know what's inside a chimichanga.
我想知道墨西哥卷煎饼里面是什么?
If you didn't know,why'd you order it?
如果你不知道那是什么 为什么还要点?
Because it's fun to say chimichanga.
因为墨西哥卷煎饼读起来很有意思
Chimichanga.See?
墨西哥卷煎饼 瞧见没?
So,how was work?
工作如何?
Horrible.All he did was boss me around:
太可怕了 他一直像个老板在支使我
"Do this,do that,wake up."
"做这个 做那个 醒醒"
Maybe that's because I'm your boss.
也许那是因为 我就是你老板
A stupid,stinky boss.
又笨又臭的老板
Anybody wanna know about my problems?
有人想知道我的问题吗?
It was supposed to be Sloppy Joes for lunch.
午饭应该吃炒牛肉醬
But instead they had fish sticks.
但是他们却吃鱼串
Well,it ruined my day.
我一天都被毁了
No,no,no,I'll get it.
不 不 不 我来接
That's what I do.
我就是做这个的
That's all I'm good for.
就擅长这个
Hello?
喂?
Oh,fudge.
噢 该死
Picture an entire day of this.
想想一下 一整天这样的情形
With six lines.
6条电♥话♥线[电♥话♥不停响]
Hello?
喂?
Oh,hi,Mrs.Harper.
嗨 哈珀太太
Oh,great.
太好了
Kandi,Kandi,give me the phone,give me...
康迪 康迪 把电♥话♥给我 给我
Back off buck-o.
不要
Was your ex-husband always such a control freak?
你前夫一直都是控制欲强的怪人吗?
She says you were.
她说 你就是
You know what he did today?
你知道今天他都干了什么吗?
Kandi,you don't have to get into that with her.
康迪 你没必要跟她说那些
She says she wants to know.
她说她想知道
Well,first of all at the office he tried to make me call him Dr.Harper all day.
首先 在办公室里 他一整天都让我叫他哈珀医生
And when I forgot he yelled at me.
我忘记的时候 他就冲我嚷嚷
What?
什么?
Chiropractors aren't really doctors.
脊柱按♥摩♥医生不是真正的医生?
You liar.
你这个骗子
I so get why you dumped him.
我算知道你为什么会甩掉他了
Hey,Alan? What?
嗨 艾伦? 干吗?
Is this a new lamp?
这灯是新的吗?
I would like that so much,Mrs.Harper.
我非常乐意 哈珀太太
Okay,I will call you Judith.
好的 以后我就叫你朱蒂斯
Great,I'll see you there.
太好了 到时见
See her where?
到哪儿见?
We're going out for a drink and a little girl talk.
我们要出去喝一杯 聊点女人间的悄悄话
Girl talk with my ex-wife?
女人间的悄悄话?和我前妻?
Her name is Judith,Mr."I'm not a doctor" Harper.
她叫朱蒂斯 "不是医生"的哈珀先生
Don't wait up.
不用等我了
You just crapped where you used to eat.
你把屎都拉到以前吃饭的地方了
What are you doing up so late? What time is it?
这么晚了 你在干什么呢? 几点了?
It's 3 a.m.
凌晨3点
Oh,well then,I got my eight hours.
哦 那我睡够8小时了
What are you doing,waiting up for Kandi?
你在干什么 等康迪吗?
Oh,no,no,no.
不 不 不
I couldn't sleep.
我睡不着
So I thought I'd read a little.
所以 看点东西
A furniture catalog?
家俱目录吗?
I like furniture.
我喜欢家俱
Just looking at the pictures,huh?
只是看图片 是吗?
What are you getting at,Charlie?
你到底想说什么 查理?
I think you buy things.
我想你买♥♥东西了
I think you bought this lamp.
我想 这灯是你买♥♥的
That lamp was here when I moved in
我搬进来的时候 这台灯就这样
Oh,really?
真的?
Charlie,I'm afraid that this dry streak is starting to affect your mind.
查理 恐怕这干涸期 已经开始影响你的神志了
Maybe you're right.
也许你是对的
Sure,this is my lamp.
没错 这是我的灯
I've had it for years.
我用了好多年了
The table it's on is new I knew it.
放它的桌子是新的 我就知道
We don't wanna wake up Mr.Alan Hitler.
我们可不想吵醒 艾伦·希♥特♥勒♥先生
No,no,Osama bin Alan.
不 不 是本艾伦
oops....Busted
哎呀 被逮著了
What the hell is going on here?
见鬼 到底怎么回事?
The hell what is going on here is that I need an advance on my "amilony."
见鬼的就是 我要预支我的"养赡费"
Why? To pay Estefan,our limo driver.
什么? 付钱给伊斯特凡 我们的豪华轿车司机
You took a limo?
你们坐的豪华轿车?
We couldn't find our cars and we spent all
我们找不到自己的车 就把钱
our money on JELL-O shots,and chimichangas.
都用来买♥♥吉露果子冻和墨西哥卷煎饼了
All right,all right.
好吧 好吧
Kandi,you need to go to bed.
康迪 你该上♥床♥去了
We have to get up early for work.
我们还要早起上班呢
No,we don't.
不 用不著了
Because I quit.
因为我不玩了
Why don't we talk about this in the morning?
我们为什么不 明早再讨论这个问题呢?
All right,Judith,here is you're "amilony."
好了朱蒂斯 这是你的"养赡费"
Thank you
谢谢
Go home.
回家去吧
And Kandi,go to bed.
还有康迪 上♥床♥去
I do not wish to live with you any furthermore.
不 我再也不想跟你住在一起了
What?
什么?
I have been invited to stay with my good friend Judith.
我受好朋友朱蒂斯的邀请去她家住
Come on,I'll help you pack your things.
来吧 我帮你去收拾你的东西
Did you ever notice how much he sweats during sex?
你知道他嗨咻时流汗有多厉害吗?
Well,good for you.
对你来说挺好的
Good for me?How is this good for me?
对我好?这对我有什么好的?
You got Kandi out of the house
你终于把康迪赶出去了
I didn't want Kandi out the house
我不想赶她出去
And I didn't want her moving in with my ex-wife.
我当然也不想她搬去我前妻那里
Oh,right.
没错
Okay then,good for me.
那么 对我来说不错
Harper? Here.
哈珀? 到
I'm gonna have to check your pie.
我要检查你的派
Rhubarb.
大黄派
Oh,my girls like rhubarb.
我家的大姑娘们就喜欢大黄派[双关 打架]
Okay,inmate 37059.
好的 编号♥37059
Down the hall,third door on the left.
从走廊下去 左手边第三间
There's a button by the bed.Push it if she gets violent.
床边有按钮 如果她有过激行为就按按钮
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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