好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E04
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:15 p.m.
"Two-bedroom. Needs work.
"两间卧室空闲"
Up-and-coming neighborhood."
"周边地带发展迅速"
What-What does that mean, uh, "Up-and-coming neighborhood?"
"周边地带发展迅速"是什么意思?
It means the Realtor didn't think
表示房♥产经纪人很明白
he could move the house saying,
如果广♥告♥词写成"周边地带居民吸毒成风"的话
"Drug-ravaged battlefield."
是不可能卖♥♥掉这个房♥子的
Okay, we'll keep looking.
好吧 我们来看看别的
Alan, I don't mean to pry,
Alan 我并不是想打听你隐私
but after alimony and child support,
但是在你支付完前妻的赡养费和孩子的抚养费以后
exactly how much can you afford to spend?
到底还能提供多少钱来找住处呢
Really?
就这么多?
Yes, really.
对啊 就这么多
Sweetie, my shoes cost more than this.
亲爱的 我的鞋子加起来都比这个贵
Well, Mom, you have a lot of shoes.
喔 妈 你的鞋子可太多了
The ones I'm wearing.
我是说我现在穿的这双
Alan, based on this amount,
Alan 对你这点钱来说
you don't need a Realtor.
你根本不需要去找一个房♥产经纪人
You need someone who sells camping equipment.
去找卖♥♥露营装备的人就够了
Yeah, well, then that's what I'll do.
那好吧 就按你说的
All right, but may I propose a simple alternative?
随便你 但是我能给你提供一个更简单的选择么?
I'm not living with you, Mom.
妈 我不会去跟你一起住的
Okay.
那算了
Well, then I have a final alternative.
不过 我这里还有一个最后的选择
And what would that be?
什么选择?
Run straight to your brother's ass, and kiss it repeatedly.
再去求求你哥哥吧
Forget it. I-I can't stay here anymore.
这不可能 我已经不能再住在这儿了
Hey Red, you wanna top this off for me?
嘿 穿红衣服的 你能帮我再倒杯咖啡么
Certainly.
没问题
May I get you a short stack and some pork links
要不要我再帮你拿垛干草和一些生猪肉肠啊
while I'm at it?
我很乐意这么做哦
Nah, I'm full.
不用 我吃饱了
But as long as we're discussing dining choices,
但是在我们讨论食物取向的时候
why don't you bite me?
你为什么不来直接过来咬我?
Oh, goodie.
哦 太棒了
More loved ones.
我的亲人们都在
Good morning, Charlie.
早啊 Charlie
Let me guess.
让我来猜猜
Alan invited you to move in.
Alan又邀请你过来住了 对不对?
No. She's helping me move out.
不 她是来帮我搬出去住的
This is a sad day.
今天真是让人悲哀的一天
We're gonna miss you around here, Alan.
我们都会想念你的 Alan
Well, thank you, Berta.
谢谢你 Berta
Sad, sad, sad.
悲哀 太悲哀了
Don't you have anything to say, Charlie?
Charlie 难道你没有什么要说的么?
Yeah.
是呀 没话说
Okay, well, enough of sentiment.
OK... 够伤感
We should really get going.
我们真的应该走了
Apartments in your price range are a long drive from Malibu.
你能提供的价钱只能买♥♥到一个离Malibu超远的公♥寓♥
I know, Mom.
我知道 妈妈
A long, long drive.
超 级 滴 远
Got it.
了解
Maybe you should try to go pee-pee before we get in the car.
也许你上车前应该先去嘘嘘一下 OK!
Would you mind looking after Jake?
你介意帮我照看一下Jake么?
If it'll help get you out of here, I'll breast-feed him.
如果能让你离开这儿的话 我甚至愿意为他哺乳
You know, with Zippy out of here, you're gonna have that nice guest room just going to waste.
你知道不 那小子走了以后你那间很好的客房♥要浪费了
Yeah?
是啊
So, I was thinking, how about if I become a live-in?
那么 我在想 不如我住进来吧
A live-in what?
你住进来?
Housekeeper. Easier for you, easier for me.
对呀 作为你的管家 你方便 我方便
Everybody wins.
这可是双赢的
Hold that thought. My coffee just kicked in.
等等 呃 你先考虑 我的咖啡煮好了
Hey, you want to go down to the arcade and play some air hockey?
嘿 你愿意下来一起去游乐中心玩会桌上曲棍球么?
No.
不去
Want to go to a movie?
那一起去看场电影怎么样?
No.
不去
Come on, I'll take you to some unrated.
来吧 我会带你去看点限制级的东西
See some boobs.
会看到波波的哦
Leave me alone.
别来烦我了
Are you mad at me?
你在生我的气么?
What was your first clue?
你怎么看出来的?
Well, frankly, your dismissive attitude toward boobs.
坦白的说 是因为你对波波轻蔑的态度
Why are you making us move?
你为什么要让我们搬出去住?
You're not moving.
你不会搬出去的
Well, then why is Dad looking for another place for us to live?
那为什么爸爸正在为我们找一个新的住处?
Because he's trying to teach me a lesson.
因为..他想给我一个教训
Why don't you tell him to stop?
你既然知道 那为什么不阻止他?
Because I'm trying to teach him a lesson.
因为我也想给他一个教训
What's your lesson?
你想让他知道什么?
That it's my house.
这是我的房♥子
What's his lesson?
他想让你知道什么?
That he lives here, too.
他也是这里的一员
Okay, I'm just a kid, but that sounds stupid even to me.
OK 我只是个孩子 不过这在我听来也太愚蠢了
Well, be that as it may,
不管怎么说
I give you my word, I am not gonna let you go anywhere.
我向你保证 我绝对不会让你离开这儿的
Promise? Promise.
你保证? 我保证
Is the boob offer still open?
那我们的"波波计划"还有么?
Come on.
我们走
How do you pronounce her last name?
她的姓是怎么读的来着?
Wow. Her name's as pretty as her boobs.
哇哦 她的名字跟波波一样可爱
What's all this?
你这是做什么?
Found a place.
我找到住处了
Fully furnished, ready to move in.
全套家具 提包入住
Uh, Jake, I packed most of your stuff.
额 Jake 你的大部分东西我都打包好了
You may want to check if I missed anything.
你去检查下我有没有落下什么
Uncle Charlie...?
Charlie叔叔?
Listen to your father.
照你♥爸♥爸说的做
But you said...
但是你说过...
I said listen to your father.
我说的是...照你♥爸♥爸说的做
I'm just a pawn.
我只是个人偶
So, where is this place?
那么 你的新住处在哪儿
In the Valley.
在山谷镇
A lovely, uh, Spanish-style complex
呃 一个可爱的西班牙风格复♥式♥住♥宅♥
called Valley Hacienda.
叫山谷庄园
Good for you.
太好了
Two-bedroom.Pool, Jacuzzi, rec room.
两间卧室 还有游泳池 按♥摩♥浴盆 娱乐室
Sounds great.
听起来不错嘛
It is, and we're going.
的确是 而且我们马上就要走了
I can see that.
我能看出来
Well, it's for the best.
真是太好了
I'll finally have a place that's really mine,
我终于能有一个属于自己的住处了
and you can go back to living the selfish, unexamined life you obviously cherish.
你又可以回去过你珍爱的那种自私而又糜烂的生活了
Looking forward to it.
我正盼着呢
OK, I guess I'm ready to go.
OK 我准备好 可以出发了
Well, then, uh, I guess we should go.
那好 我想我们应该走了
Need some help?
要我帮忙么?
No, we can handle it.
不用 我们自己可以处理
All right, uh, Valley Hacienda, here we come.
好了 目标:山谷庄园 我们出发!
Jake, say good-bye to your Uncle Charlie.
Jake 跟Charle叔叔说声再见
Bye, Uncle Charlie.
拜拜 Charlie叔叔
Bye, kid.
再见了孩子
Jake, go get in the car.
Jake 你先上车去
Listen to your father.
照你♥爸♥爸说的做
I don't think anybody's learning anything here.
我不认为你们是在接受教训
Well, uh, thanks for your hospitality.
那么 呃 谢谢你这么久以来的款待
I'm sorry we overstayed our welcome.
我很抱歉我们住了这么长时间
Alan...
别装了 Alan
I don't want to go. Please don't make me go.
我不想走! 求你了! 别让我走!
I love it here. I love it so much!
我爱这里 我太爱这里了!
I thought you found a nice place.
我以为你已经找到一个好住处了
I was bluffing. It sucked! They all sucked!
那都是我吹的 那儿太烂了 那儿的一切都太烂了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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