好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E21
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:19 p.m.
I can't afford to buy her jewelry.
我买♥♥不起珠宝给她
I know.
我知道
That's what makes it funny.
所以这才好笑
Must have been so expensive.
这一定很贵吧
Yeah.
是的
You do realize this entitles you to extra-special bonus sex.
你知道这个可以帮你赢得床上额外的快乐不?
What is extra-special bonus sex?
额外的是什么?
It's whatever you want it to be.
就是你想怎么样 就怎么样
That sounds like fun.
听上去很有趣
Go away.
滚开
Okay,I'll just play Scrabble till you're ready.
好吧 那我就一直玩拼字游戏 直到你有空
Give me a sec.
等我一下下
Please don't tell me Francine is here.
不要告诉我弗朗辛来了
Okay.
好吧
Wait,wait,wait.
等等 等等 等等
Francine is here?
弗朗辛真来了?
Yeah,you want me to cover for you?
是的 要我帮你打掩护吗?
Yes.
当然
I'm on it.
那我去了
Wait.
等等
Charlie,I'm begging you.
查理 求求你
No more jewelry.
别再让我送珠宝了
Don't worry.
别担心
It's not funny twice.
这招用2次就不好玩了
Sorry,he must have gone out.
抱歉 他一定是出去了
Oh,okay.
喔 好吧
Tell him I stopped by.
告诉他我来过了
Francine,wait.
弗朗辛 等等
I can't do this.
我不能这样做
Do what?
做什么?
I'm not a good liar.
我不太善于说谎
I know where he is,I'm just not supposed to tell you.
其实我知道他去哪了 但原本不该告诉你
The thing is,Alan does a lot of charity work.
事实上 艾伦在慈善方面贡献良多
Really?
真的吗?
Oh,yeah.
喔 是的
Right now he's down at the nursing home giving sponge baths to old people.
例如现在 他就在养老院 给老年人们做海绵擦身浴
They don't go out a lot so they tend to get dusty.
他们不大出门 所以身上很多灰尘
I had no idea.
我完全不知道这些
In fact,just the other night he was down on skid row...
事实上 还有一天晚上
teaching salsa dancing to crack addicts.
他去贫民窟教那些吸毒者 跳萨尔萨舞蹈
Oh,my goodness.
喔 天哪
They have the energy,they just lack the focus.
他们其实精力很充沛 只是没用对地方
But I think...
但是我认为
I think what he's proudest of is his work with the kids.
我认为他最了不起的地方 是帮助孩子们
He takes runaways forced to live on the streets and
他帮助那些离家出走 留宿街头的孩子
teaches them how to live in the woods.
教他们如何在树林里生存
I don't really see the point but
我不是太明白他这样做的意义
those little urchins seem to thrive in the wild.
但那些小顽童们看似在野外茁壮成长
It's like he's a saint.
他就像是个圣人
You must be so proud to have him as your brother.
你一定很骄傲 有他这样一个好兄弟
Well,truth be told,he does bring me a lot of joy.
喔 说实话 他的确给我带来了很多乐趣
Thank you for telling me this,Charlie.
谢谢你告诉我这些 查理
You're welcome.
不客气
Just promise you won't embarrass him bringing it up.
只要答应我别跟他提起这些 否则他会不好意思的
Not a word.
我一个字也不会提的
I just hope I can be worthy of him.
我只是希望自己能配得上他
And the plot moistens.
成功埋下诡计
Oh,that's terrific,buddy.I am so proud of you.
喔 太棒了 伙计.真为你骄傲
Yeah,sure,I'll tell him.
好的 没问题 我会告诉他
Oh,all right.
喔 好的
Love you.Bye-bye.
爱你 拜拜
Guess what.
你猜怎么着?
Jake just got the lead in the school musical.
杰克要在学校的音乐剧里 担任主角了
The lead?
主角?
What happened,did every other kid in school get mono?
怎么回事?其他孩子 都得了单核细胞增多症了?
No,I think it was Francine.
不 我觉得是弗朗辛的缘故
I think she cast Jake because of our relationship.
我觉得她是因为我们的关系 才选的杰克
You mean it's gotten physical?
你是说你们睡过了?
You're sleeping his way to the top?
你帮他一睡成名?
No,no.Nothing happened between us.
不 不.我们之间啥事也没发生
But I think she's fallen for me
但是我觉得她爱上我了
Really?
真的吗?
What makes you think that?
你为什么这么认为?
Well,I had lunch with her today and she was looking at me with...
呃 我今天和她一起吃午餐 她看我的那眼神...
I don't know...
说不清...
worship in her eyes.
好像充满了崇敬之情
Like I was some kind of...
就好像我是什么...
Saint? Yes,yes.
圣人? 对 对
How did you know?
你怎么知道?
That's how I think of you.
我也是这么看你的
Very funny.
很好笑 听着
I've been doing my best not to lead her on
我已经尽量不让她喜欢上我了
but I guess I just underestimated my allure.
但看来我低估了自己的诱惑力
Say that again.
再说一遍
What? That last part.
什么? 最后那部分
You mean,I underestimated my allure?
你是说 "我低估了我的诱惑力"这句?
Yeah,that's it.
对 就是这句
I'm sorry,am I missing something?
不好意思 是不是有什么我不知道的?
No,not a thing.
不 没有
Well,good.
喔 很好
You see,Alan.That's how you lie.
知道吗 艾伦 你一撒谎就这样
Pretty exciting,huh?
很激动人心 对不?
Opening night.
开幕之夜
Well,having seen the previews,I'm betting closing night too.
呃 我看过预演了 我猜这也是闭幕之夜
Boy,this brings back memories.
伙计们 这让我回忆起小时候
Sixth grade was the happiest two years of my life.
小学6年级是我一生中最快乐的2年
It's the finger.
"夺命手指"又来了
Excuse me.
失陪一下
So,Kandi,what's your favorite musical?
康迪 你最喜欢的音乐剧是什么?
The trombone.
长号♥ [她以为他问她"最喜欢的乐器是什么
I can't believe you brought her here.
真不敢相信你把她带来了
I had to,Jake invited her.
没办法 杰克邀请了她
Is that a diamond necklace?
她戴的是钻石项链?
You never gave me a diamond necklace.
你从来没送过我钻石项链
Yeah,well,you never gave me extra-special bonus sex.
是啊 呃 你也从来没给过我 额外的奖励
Hi,Charlie Hi.
嗨 查理 嗨
Who's this?
这位是? 这位?
This?Oh,this is Kandi.
喔 这位是康迪
Hi,I'm with Alan.
嗨 我和艾伦一起的
Are you one of those young people he takes care of?
你是他照顾的 那些年轻人中的一个?
Yep,yep,yep.
是的 是的 是的
Good old Saint Alan.
好圣人 艾伦
Just can't do enough for the kids.
总是嫌为孩子们做得不够多
Look at this diamond necklace he gave me.
看这条钻石项链 是他送给我的
He gave you a diamond necklace?
他送你钻石项链?
Don't get the wrong idea,it wasn't to get me to have sex.
别想歪了 他这么做 并不是为了跟我上♥床♥
I was already doing everything he wanted.
我已经满足了他想要的一切
I am as shocked as you are.
我和你一样震惊
What was that about?
她怎么回事?
Funny story.I'll tell you later.
说来就有意思了 我晚点告诉你
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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