好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E10
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:16 p.m.
Starting now,I am a new Alan.
从现在开始 我是全新的艾伦
Oh damn! I think I wet myself.
笑得震出尿来了
Starting now,I will fear no woman's disapproval.
从现在开始 我将无视所有女人的看法
Oh God! That's Judith.
上帝 朱蒂斯来了
I was supposed to have Jake ready,she's gonna kill me!
我还没有给杰克准备好 她会杀了我
Okay,starting now.
好吧 从现在开始
Good for you.
祝贺你
Oh,I better get that.Better wait.
我最好去开门 最好等等
What she thinks of you doesn't matter.
她怎么看你并不重要
The only thing that counts is what you think of you.
重要的是 你怎么看你自己
You're right.It's what I think of me.
你是对的.是我怎么看自己.
Alan? I had so much potential.
艾伦? 我很有才 好多的才...
Okay,forget what you think of you.
好吧 忘了"看自己"这档子事儿吧
Yeah,I'm probably too close to me to see me clearly.
是啊 可能我靠自己太近 导致看不清
Yeah,that's it.
是啊 就是这样
Oh,do I smell like vomit?
我闻起来像吐过的吗
Don't worry I'll stand next to you,she'll assume it's me.
別担心 我站你旁边 她会以为是我
Good,good.
好 好
Hi Alan.Is Jake ready?
嗨 艾伦 杰克准备好了吗
No he is not.
不 还没有
You said you'd have him ready.
你说已经给他准备好了
Well I don't.
我没有
And if that makes you unhappy with me,
如果这让你 对我很不爽的话
well,I don't give a rat's furry ass!
我他妈的不在乎
What did you just say to me?
你刚对我说什么
Nothing,I'm sorry.Jake!
没什么 对不起 杰克
Starting now? Starting soon.
现在开始? 很快开始
You know what that smell is?
知道这是什么味儿吗
Epiphany for men.
男人的顿悟
So,how long you have been in Los Angeles?
来洛杉矶多久了
About 8 months.
差不多8个月了
I haven't got a single audition yet.
一次面试都还没有
Yes,it can be a tough town when you don't know anybody.
是啊 没熟人是不容易混
So you got like a head shot or a resume?
你有照片或简历吗
Is he ok?
他没事吧
I don't know.
不知道
Sir,are you ok?
先生 你没事吧
I thought we came here to talk.
我以为我们来这儿是为了聊天
Not to each other!
不是咱俩聊
Alright let's talk.What's bothering you?
好吧 我们聊 你在烦恼什么
I changed my mind.I don't wanna talk about it.
我改变主意 不想说了
Talk or die!
说 或者死
Alright.
好吧
I'm depressed.I...wanna change,but I can't.
我很沮丧.我想要改变 却改不过来
Whenever I'm confronted by a disapproving woman,
只要看见女人对我很不屑
something inside me just crumbles.
我就崩溃了
Well,I don't know,maybe that's just...who you are.
我也不知道 或许这就是真实的你
You know,
知道吗
fish gotta swim,
鱼要游泳
birds gotta fly,
鸟要飞翔
you gotta crumble.
你要崩溃
What I don't understand
但我不明白的是
is that I can intellectually see the problem,
明明能看到问题所在
but I just can't do anything about it.
我却无力可逮
Oh,uh,excuse me,Miss
打扰了 小姐
can I have more of these little pretzels please?
能再来点椒盐小饼吗
In a minute!
马上就来
Okay,sorry,no hurry.
好的 抱歉 不着急
Look,it's very simple.
听着 这很简单
You were conditionned as a child to seek mom's approval.
你把自己定位成 想得到妈妈认可的孩子
You're still seeking mom's approval
不断寻求妈妈的认可
and you make every woman in the world a substitute mom.
并把全世界的女人 都看成妈妈的替身
But what about you? We had the same mother.
那你呢 我们是一个妈生的
Well I handle my conditionning in a different way.
我的定位和你南辕北辙
I have casual and often degrading sex with my substitue moms,but
我和妈妈的替身们 保持随意混乱的性关系
we're talking about you not me,so forget about that.
但我们说的是你 不是我 所以忘掉我刚说的
Oh,how I'll try.
哦 我会试着忘掉
But how do you deal with the fear of disapproval?
但你怎么处理 被人蔑视后的惶恐
I...mean you must get shut down occasionally.
我的意思是 偶尔 你也会被別人拒绝
Occasionally? Constantly.
偶尔？ 经常
Constantly?
经常？
Occasionally.
偶尔
It's a numbers game,Alan.
这是个随机率的游戏 艾伦
We all want the shiny apple on top of the tree.
我们都想要树顶上 最闪亮的那个苹果
But,sometimes you gotta settle for one on a lower branch.
但有时你只能得到树中间的苹果
And of course there's times when you just gotta
当然 还有时候
pick up whatever's lying on the ground and
你只能随便捡起地上什么东西
put it in your mouth.
塞进嘴里
But,how do you manage to
但是你怎么能持续面对
keep going on in the face of constant rejection?
她们连续不断的严辞拒绝
Occasional rejection!
偶尔的拒绝
Okay,lesson 1:
好吧 第一课
look around.
看看周围
Out of all the women here,
这里的所有女人
which one do you find most attractive?
你觉得哪个最有吸引力
Let's see,um...
我看看
Her.
她
The brunette? Why?
褐色头发那个 为什么
I don't know,there's just something about her.
不知道 就是对她有种感觉
Yeah,radiating waves of contempt.
是啊 浑身散发着鄙视的气势
Well you asked me who I found attractive.
你问我谁最有吸引力
That's true,that's true.
是的 是的
Alright,she's your shiny apple.
好吧 她是你的亮苹果
Go ask her if you can buy her a drink.
过去问问 能不能请她喝一杯
What about the radiating waves of contempt?
那鄙视的气势怎么办
That's just a defense mechanism for a little girl in a lot of pain.
那只是忧郁小女生自我保护的表现
Really?
真的?
How the hell should I know?
我他妈又怎么会知道
The point is,you can't let fear stand in your way.
重点是 你不能因为害怕而不敢迈步
Well I disagree.
我不同意
Are you questioning my methods?
你在怀疑我的方法吗?
Cause we can stop right now.No,no I'll do it,I'll do it.
要不我们立刻收手.不 我去 我去
Would you like some more pretzels?
想来点椒盐小饼吗
Well I am in the mood for something salty and twisted.
我正想要些"又咸又扭"东西
You're terrible.
你真坏
You have no idea.
比你想的更坏
How'd it go?
怎么样
She's really got a mouth on her.
她真是嘴下不留情
So she rejected you...
那她拒绝你了
With anatomical specificity.
用专业的"解剖"手法
Good.
好极了
Good?How is that good?
好极了 怎么好极了
How do you feel right now?
你现在感觉怎样
What do you mean how do I feel? I...feel humiliated.
什么叫感觉怎么样 我感觉被羞辱了
Where?
哪儿
What?
什么
Where is the humiliation? Where do you feel it?
哪儿感到羞辱了 在哪儿感觉到的
Well let's see...
让我想想
my stomach's all knotted,my heart is pounding,
我的胃绞成一团 心咚咚跳
I'm sweating like a pig.
像猪一样汗流浃背
Okay.End of lesson 1.
好了 第一课结束
That was lesson 1?
这就是第一课
Lesson 1 sucked.
第一课糟透了
Lesson 2:
第二课
have a drink.
喝一杯
No,sweetheart,have a real drink.
不 宝贝 喝杯真的酒
I don't like scotch.
我不喜欢苏格兰威士忌
It's okay,it's bourbon.
没关系 这是美国威士忌
Oh,alright.
好吧
More.
再喝
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表