好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E17
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:17 p.m.
we have a special treat.
我们有个特別节目
Please tell me they're gonna pass out guns.
拜托跟我说 他们会发枪
Our very own seven-time award winner,
我们唯一的7次大奖获得者
here to perform his own nominated tune,
将在此献演他的原创提名曲
composed especially for the United Nations' Save-an-Orphan program...
特別为联♥合♥国♥"救救孤儿"项目所作
Oh,God,not orphans.
噢天 別是孤儿
Archie Baldwin! Oh,goodie.
亚奇·鲍德温 噢 好呀
This is for all the orphans out there.
本曲献给那儿的所有孤儿们
** There's no tree at Christmas time *
* 在圣诞节里 圣诞树难觅
** No pumpkin Hallow's Eve *
* 在万圣节里 南瓜无踪迹
** No candles on the birthday cake *
* 生日蛋糕上 蜡烛在哪里
** No reason to believe *
* 不能相信 无法相信
** He works all day in a cold,dark mine *
* 整日劳作在 湿暗矿井里
** His little lungs filled with soot *
* 弱小的肺在 煤灰里呼吸
** Her mom is Kim Jong's concubine *
* 她的妈妈是 金♥正♥日♥妾婢
** Her dad was killed by the Tonton Macoute *
* 她的爸爸被马库特枪毙
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
** Don't do it for me,Don't do it for you *
* 不是为了我 不是为了你
** Do it for little Kim Sung and Abu *
* 为了小金成 还有小阿布
** Yeah,save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
Come on,everybody!
来吧 大家一起唱
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
They're tax deductible!
领养可以抵稅
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
Get 'em while they're still cute!
趁他们还可爱 快领回家
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
Get 'em young,teach 'em your tongue!
趁他们还小 教他们你的口音
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
Woody Allen can't marry them all!
伍迪·艾伦娶不了这么多
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
Some of them don't even have parents!
他们中的一些 没爹没娘
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
Get two,get one free!
领二送一
** Save the orphans *
* 救救孤儿吧
You're the ones paying for scholarships!
人家领奖学金 你就等着捐奖学金吧
** Save the orphans...*
* 救救孤儿吧
* Save the orphans *
救救孤儿吧
* Save the orphans *
救救孤儿吧
Enough!
够了
Come on,it's catchy.
別啊 很容易上口
So is diphtheria.
白喉也容易上口
How come you don't get a runner-up trophy?
为什么你没拿到亚军奖杯
'Cause I don't.
因为我没有
In school,everybody gets a trophy just for participating.
在学校 只要参与 人人都有奖杯
Well,Jake,
好吧 杰克
that's the difference between school and life.
这就是校园和现实生活的区別
In life,all you get for participating is pain,loneliness and death.
在现实生活中 你参与的回报 只是痛苦 孤独和死亡
Better luck next year,Charlie!
祝你明年转运 查理
Good night,boys.
晚安 孩子们
Oh,yeah,I forgot.
哦对 我都忘了
There's also crushing humiliation.
还有终极的羞辱
Well,in sixth grade,you get a trophy.
在小学六年级 你就会有奖杯
Hey.
嘿
Can I get you anything?
要来点什么吗
A length of rope and a rickety stool?
一根长绳子 一张摇摆的小凳子?
Charlie,it's understandable that you might be a little
查理 可以理解你现在 情绪有点
blue right now.but that'll pass.
低落 但那都会过去的
Get out of here,Alan.
给我消失 艾伦
You know,I often find that
知道吗 我发现
when things look darkest,it really helps to share your...
当遇事不爽 有效的办法就是分享...
I swear,I will drop-kick you over that railing.
我发誓 我会一个大脚 把你踢出那根栏杆
All right.
好吧
Pleasant dreams.
好梦
You don't dream in a blackout,you moron.
醉得不省人事是不会做梦的 你个弱智
Hey,Charlie.
嘿 查理
Oh,God.
喔 老天
How'd it go tonight?
今晚顺利吗
Well,let me put it this way:
我这么说吧
What the advertising community did to me earlier this evening,
今晚早先 广♥告♥协会怎么对我的
Archie Baldwin is now doing to my mother.
亚奇·鲍德温 现正如法炮制我妈
He's not...acknowledging her wonderful talent?
他不认可她的"美妙天赋"
Just leave it alone,Rose.
別再提了 萝丝
Sorry.
抱歉
Have you seen Gordon?
你见过戈顿了吗
Not since I talked to him.
我们谈话后 就再没见过
And by the way,thanks for that opportunity.
另外 谢谢你让我见他
I've always wanted to bond with a pasty kid who dresses like me.
我一直想有个谈得来的脸色苍白 穿着打扮跟我一样的朋友
Well,I don't know what you said to him,
我不知道你跟他说了什么
but he's been acting very strange,lately.
但他最近举止很奇怪
Lately?
最近?
I keep calling,but he doesn't pick up the phone.
我一直给他电♥话♥ 但他不接
And when I leave a message,he doesn't call back.
我给他留言 也没回复
I thought you wanted him to stop being so clingy.
我以为你要他別再缠著你
I thought I did,too,but
我也那么想 但是
now I miss his cute little face peeking at me while
我现在开始怀念 他偷看我时 那张可爱的小脸
I'm washing my hair,shaving my legs,
在我洗发时 刮腿毛时
soaping up my breasts,which you no doubt remember are extremely firm and perky.
给咪♥咪♥打肥皂时 就是我那双你肯定记得的坚挺自信的大咪♥咪♥
So he spies on you in the shower?
那么 他偷看你洗澡
No.That would be weird.
不 那会感觉怪怪的
Why is love so complicated?
为什么爱情如此复杂
I don't know,Rose.
我不知道 萝丝
Stuff happens.
世事难料
Oh,Charlie,
噢 查理
you always know the right thing to say.
你真会安慰人
Well,this is a fine kettle of fish.
真是尴尬的场面
Oh,why can't I just black out in peace?
就不能让我安静地不省人事吗
"Be aloof," you said.
"装作冷漠" 你说
"Play hard to get."
"欲擒故纵"
You just wanted me out of your way so you could make your move.
你是想支开我 然后你好行动
You caught me,Gordon.
你说对了 戈顿
Now do the right thing and kill me.
做你该做的 杀了我
Oh,Charlie,is this true?
查理 真是这样吗?
Is this part of some devious plan to win me back?
是你想夺回我的调虎离山计吗
You heard her,Gordon.
听到她的话了吧 戈顿
Kill me!
杀了我
Rose
萝丝
you wanted him out of your hair,I got him out of your hair.
你想摆脱他的纠缠 我帮你搞定了
You wanted to get rid of me?
你想甩了我?
No.I just need some space.
不 我只想要些空间
You want space?
你要空间?
I'll give you all the space you want.
你要多少我给多少
Fine In fact,I'll leave right now.
行啊 事实上 我现在就走
Well,great,I'll just stay here with Charlie.
好啊 我正好留下来陪查理
Nobody leaves.
没人要走
Nobody stays.
没人要留
Rose,get off me.
萝丝 下来
Okay,
好吧
now,everybody listen carefully,
现在所有人都仔细听着
'cause I'm pretty sure I'm only gonna be able to say this once.
因为我敢肯定 我只会说一次
Rose,think about it.
萝丝 想想吧
Where are you gonna find a guy who loves you as much as Gordon?
哪儿能找到 像戈顿这样深爱你的人
And Gordon,
还有你 戈顿
where are you gonna find a girl period?
哪儿能找到一个女孩 和你如此"绝配"
The man makes sense,Rose.
他说得有道理 萝丝
Damn right,I make sense.
绝对有道理
If you kids don't patch things up,you know what's gonna happen?
如果你们这两个娃娃 不互相谅解和好 知道后果会如何
You're gonna wind up old,miserable and alone.
你们会形单影只凄然老死
He's right,Gordon.
他是对的 戈顿
Look what happened to him.
他就是个例子
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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