好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E13
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:16 p.m.
Ketchup slow.
番茄醬要慢慢的倒
Glacier slow.
冰川融化也快不了
Continental drift slow.
大♥陆♥漂移慢慢到蛋疼
So,slow. I'm saying.
就是很慢 如我所述
Hey,listen,about this living without sex thing,
嗨 听着 关于这种没OOXX的生活
I was hoping you can give me a little advice.
我希望 你能给我些建议
Me?
我?
What would make you think of me?
你怎么会想起来问我
Well,I figured you get laid less often than
我猜 满脸疥子的矮子
a boil-covered dwarf,am I right?
做的次数都比你多 对吗?
I don't have the actual statistics,but go on.
我没实际统计过 但是 继续说
Well,you must get really frustrated.
你一定很空虚
I mean,how do you stop yourself from,you know,
我指 你怎么控制自己不去 比如
running a red light and then taunting the cop till he shoots you?
闯红灯 嘲笑警♥察♥ 直到他一枪崩了你
Ah,good question.
哦 问得好
I found that the best thing to do is to focus on your career,
我发现 最好的方法就是专心工作
uh,get a hobby,become involved in community activities,
找个兴趣爱好 参与团体活动
and at the end of the day,if you have any energy left,
一天结束时 如果你还有力气的话
find a quiet space
找个安静的地方
and yank it like a monkey in a mango tree.
自己解决问题 就像猴子和芒果树
Interesting.
有意思
What kind of hobbies are we talking about?
哪些兴趣爱好 可以一试
Uh,well I tried collecting stamps,
我会尝试集邮
uh,building model trains,
做火车模型
but,in the end,all roads led back up the mango tree.
但最终 条条大路都通芒果树
That's what I was afraid of.
那正是我害怕的
Hey,where're you going?
嗨 你去哪儿
I'm gonna go get in my car,
我去开车
run a red light
闯个红灯
and hope for a clean head shot.
希望警♥察♥能给我个干脆的爆头
The great thing about this piece
这一段最精彩的就是
is that it fuses a classical score with jazz choreography.
把爵士舞融合进了古典乐章
Wow.
哇
You know,on a counter programming note,
知道吗 与此同时
the Lakers are playing Miami tonight.
湖人队今晚在迈阿密打客场
Would you rather watch that?
你更想看篮球吗
No,no,this is fine.
不 这个挺好
Of course,I don't have a $500 bet down on the ballet.
当然 我没押500块在芭蕾上
What channel?
哪个频道
No,seriously,this is...
不 认真的 这个
Channel 2.
2频道
You know,Charlie.
知道吗 查理?
you don't have to give up things that you like just because of me.
你无须为我放弃自己喜欢的东西
Okay,great. Good to know.
嗯 太好了 很高兴知道
Hey,
嗨
as long as we're on that subject...
正好在说我们的关系
...there's something I want to run past you.
有些事 我想和你商量
Go ahead.
说吧
Well,let me just preface it by saying that
先这么说吧
I am all for holding off on the sex
我完全禁慾
so our relationship can develop more,you know...
是为了我们的感情能更加 那个
deepness.
深厚
I'm glad. I think it's working,too.
我也很高兴 感觉效果不错
We're getting so much closer than we would have had we just jumped into bed together.
比起直接上♥床♥ 我们现在感觉更亲密
Good. Sounds like we're on the same page.
好 看来我们想法一致
And just to make sure we don't jump the gun,
为了确保 我们不会功亏一篑
I was thinking
我在考虑
maybe it'd be a good idea if I had an outlet that,you know,
也许我有个发洩口会更好 你知道的
took the pressure off.
释放压力
An outlet?
一个发洩口
Yeah,an outlet.
是啊 一个发洩口
Something casual,meaningless.
临时的 无意义的
If I work it right,it could even be anonymous.
如果我处理的好 没人会知道
You mean another woman?
你是指 另一个女人
Well,that would be my first choice.
那会是我的首选
But for the purposes of this discussion,
但为了本次谈话的目的
let's stay with the more neutral term "outlet".
让我们更中性地称呼发洩口
I don't care what you call it.
我不管你怎么称呼
You're asking for permission to have sex with another woman.
你在请求许可 和另一个女人上♥床♥
Only because I care about you too much
正因为我太在乎你
to whore around without permission.
不想没有你的许可 就去打野食
Are you crazy?
你疯了吧
I can't go back to the mango tree,Mia.
我不能回到芒果树 米亚
What?
什么
Look,
你看
I think this is a mature,thoughtful suggestion.
我觉得这是个深思熟虑的建议
In fact,there are many cultures that embrace the whole
事实上"发洩口"的概念 在许多文化下很受欢迎
outlet concept as a way of strengthening
被认为是有助於稳固
and nurturing the primary love relationship.
培育重要的爱情关系
You can't dismiss entire cultures with...
你不能这样轻视其他文化
I'm going home.
我要回家了
Oh,come on,we're just talking here.
別啊 我们还在讨论中
I propose an idea,
我提议
we bat it around a little bit and then we compromise.
再稍稍讨论 折衷一下
That's the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.
这是健康关系的基石
How are we gonna compromise,Charlie?
我们怎么折衷 查理
Are you gonna have sex with half a woman?
你会和半个女人上♥床♥吗
Is that an option?
那是个选择吗
What's going on?
怎么了
We had our first fight.
我们第一次吵架
Oh. What about?
噢 为了什么
I simply suggested that as long as we weren't having sex,
我只是提议 既然我们不上♥床♥
it would be good for our relationship if I had sex with somebody else.
那我上其他人 会有益于我俩的感情
And she didn't buy that?
那她没接受
Wouldn't even discuss it.
都不愿意讨论
Women,huh?
女人啊
They say they want to talk,but they don't want to talk.
她们都说想谈谈 实际都不愿谈
What's the matter with Uncle Charlie?
查理叔叔怎么了
Oh,he's just a little down 'cause he had a fight with his girlfriend.
他和女友吵架了 心情有点低落
That's too bad.
够糟的
Why don't you go out and talk to him?
要不你去和他聊聊
Maybe you can cheer him up a little.
说不定能让他振作一点
How?
怎么聊
I don't know. Tell him a joke or something.
不知道 说个笑话或什么
Okay.
好的
Might as well just give him a bowl of Milky Ways.
或者给他一罐巧克力糖
Hey,Uncle Charlie,
嗨 查理叔叔
what's green,has four legs
什么东西是绿色的 有四条腿
and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and landed on you?
如果从树上掉落到你头上 会让你只呼不吸
What?
什么
A pool table.
一张台球桌
That's funny 'cause you wouldn't expect it to be in a tree.
很搞笑的 因为你想不到它会在树上
Nothin'.
没效果
Okay,I'll talk to him.
好吧 我去和他聊聊
Hey,if you can work up a fart,
嗨 如果你能酝酿个屁
ask him to pull your finger.
记得让他扯你的手指
Hey. Hey.
嗨 嗨
Still haven't heard from Mia?
还没米亚的消息
She won't return my calls.
她不回我电♥话♥
You do realize that suggesting it would be good for
你肯定认识到提及和
you to have sex with other women was
其他女人上♥床♥会有好处
a monumentally stupid thing to do.
是一件极其愚蠢的事
Yes,Alan,I realize it.
是的 艾伦 我认识到了
The question now is
现在的问题是
how do I apologize?
我该怎么道歉
You mean grovel.
你指屈服
No,I mean apologize
不 我指道歉
with my dignity and pride intact.
带着完整的尊严和自尊
Oh,you
噢 你真是个
sad,naive fool.
可悲的 天真的傻子
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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