好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E07
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:15 p.m.
knows how to disable the alarm system.
让警报器失效的人发♥生♥关♥系♥了
And who has no compunction about shaving my head while I sleep.
还有那个人对 在我睡觉时 剃我的头 一点悔意都没有
What's a compunction? Go get ready for bed.
什么是悔意? 准备上♥床♥
Sounds dirty. Just go.
听上去很下流. 快走.
Hey,lady,I can see your compunction.
嗨 女士 我能看出你后悔了
Charlie,will you do me a favor? What?
查理 你能帮我个忙吗? 什么?
Don't talk to my kid about sex. Why?
不要和我的孩子谈性 为什么?
Because you're a pig.
因为你是头猪
Okay.
好的
What was that? What was what?
那是什么? 什么是什么?
It was a thump.
就是响声
What do you mean,a thump? You know,a thump.
你什么意思 什么响声? 就是响声
Like a crazy woman dressed as a ninja jumping from a tree
就像一个疯女人 穿着忍♥者服从一棵树跳
and landing on the roof with cat-like precision.
跳到屋顶上 用猫一般精确的动作
I didn't hear anything.
我什么都没听到
Well,I did.
好吧 我听到了
I guess your hearing's more acute when your nuts are on the line.
我猜你的听力更敏锐 在你胡说八道的时候
Come on,Charlie,you don't
少来 查理 你不会
really think Rose is gonna do anything?
真的以为萝丝会做些什么吧?
Hey,I never told you half the weird stuff she pulled around here.
嗨 我还没告诉你 她在这里 搞出来的一半的稀奇古怪事情呢
Why not?
为什么不?
Well,we needed a baby-sitter and I didn't want you to get spooked.
好吧 我们需要个带孩子的 我不想你被吓坏
Okay,I'm listening.
好吧 我正在听
One time...
有一次...
she trained a seagull to swoop down...
她训练一只海鸥俯冲...
Oh,God,this is it!
噢 上帝啊 就是这个!
Come on,Charlie.I cannot believe a grown man like you
过来 查理 我不能相信 像你一样的成年男人
is afraid of a little girl.
会害怕一个小女孩
A little girl with a big seagull.
一个小女孩有只大海鸥
Went right for my eyes.
直冲向我的眼睛
Have you ever seen one of 'em swoop down on a picnic table to grab a french fry?
你有没有见过海鸥俯冲向野餐桌抓炸薯条吃？
It was just like that. Charlie...
就和那个一样 查理..
I'll bet that's how she trained it.
我打赌 那就是她怎样训练的
Took a picture of me and put french fries all over it.
拍张我的照片 周围全都放上薯条
You're being ridiculous.
你说得很荒谬
Am I?We'll see.
有吗?走着瞧
Are you Charlie Harper?
你是查理·哈珀?
Yes,I am.
是的 我是的
I'm Rose's father.
我是萝丝的父亲
I don't see a way to back out of this,do you?
我没找到可以抵赖的办法 你呢
So,you're Rose's dad.
那么 你是萝丝的父亲
I can see the resemblance.
我能看出你们很相像
You and I need to talk.
你和我需要谈谈
Well,sure,if you want.
好吧 当然 如果你想的话
I'm booked up for the next few days,
我日程排满了 以后的几天
but maybe we can pencil something in for next week.
但也许我们可以取消一些安排 下周见
Now... Or now.
现在... 或者 现在
There's a little window in my schedule now.Come on in.
我的日程表上现在就有个小的窗口 请进
Thank you.
谢谢
Can I get you something to drink? I'm fine.
想要喝些什么饮料? 不用了.
Okay,well,then you don't mind
好吧 那好 那你不介意
if I have a little conversation starter,do you?
我想谈话前喝点小酒的吧?
Knock yourself out. I'm sure gonna try.
请便[双关语 醉得不省人事] 我当然会尽量试的
So,uh,I'm,uh,Charlie's brother,Alan.
那么 哦 我是查理的兄弟 艾伦
Nice to meet you. Same here.
很高兴见到你 我也是
Uh...I never slept with your daughter.
哦...我从来都没睡过你女儿
I'm not surprised.
我不奇怪
Okay,Rose's dad. Call me Harvey.
好吧 萝丝的父亲 叫我哈维
Okay,Harvey.That's easy.
好的 哈维.那很容易记
Like the big invisible rabbit in that Jimmy Stewart movie.
就像杰米·斯图尔特电影中隐形的大兔子
What was that called? Harvey.
那叫什么? 哈维
Right.
对的
Loved that movie.
我爱那部电影
A lot of people don't know it was originally a play,
很多人不知道那原来是个舞台剧
and then after the movie,they tried to make it a musical...
在拍了电影以后 他们试着改编成音乐...
Charlie.
查理
Yes,sir? Sit down.
好的 先生? 坐下
Yes,sir.
好的 先生
Now...
现在...
what are your intentions towards my daughter?
你对我的女儿有什么企图?
Oh,right to the chase,Straight shooter.I like that.
哦 直入主题直截了当的人 我喜欢
Ah,thirsty.
啊 口渴
So,where were we?
那么 我们说到哪里了?
He wants to know what your intentions are towards Rose.
他想知道你对萝丝有什么意图
Thank you.
谢谢
Well,I...would have to say that my intentions are good.
好吧 我不得不说我的意图是很好的
In fact,anybody who knows me would confirm that
实际上 认得我的任何人都会证明那点
Charlie Harper has good intentions.
查理·哈珀充满好意
His actions,on the other hand,are usually selfish and asinine.
他的行为 恰巧相反 通常自私而且像蠢驴子一样
Again,thank you.
再一次 谢谢
Okay,Harvey,well,I'm glad we had this chance to talk...
好的 哈维 好吧 我很 高兴我们有这次谈话的机会
Sit down. Sorry.
坐下 抱歉
So,are you going to marry my daughter or not?
那么你打不打算娶我的女儿?
Not. Not?
不 不?
A very well-intended not.
是非常好意地说 不
So,after two years together,
那么 在你们一起两年后
you just plan to keep on stringing her along?
你就打算继续欺骗她?
No,I would never...
不 我永不会...
Wait a minute,did you say two years?
等一会 你刚才说两年?
Now,look,
自已想想
Rose cares very much about you,and she's not going to leave you.
萝丝非常在乎你 她不会离开你的
So I think the honorable thing for you to do is to let her go.
所以 我想对你来说 让人讚赏的做法就是让她走
Believe me,Harvey,I've tried.
相信我 哈维 我试过了
God,how I've tried.
上帝啊 我试过了
What's the problem?
问题出在哪里?
You love her too much?
你太爱她了?
Not exactly.
确切的说不是那样
I mean,she is a wonderful gal,and I do care for her,but...
我是说 她是个奇妙的女孩 我确实关心她 但是...
you see...
看吧...
What,the peanut gallery taking a break?
怎么了 花生漫画停刊了?
Harvey,the truth is,Charlie has tried to end it,
哈维 事实上 查理 曾试着结束这种关系
but your daughter doesn't handle rejection all that well.
但是你的女儿不是那么会应付拒绝
Or all that legally.
或者说合法的应付
And in my defense,
我的辩白
we're not talking about a long-term relationship.
我们说的不是长♥期♥的情侣关系
We're talking about a couple of nights of drunken,
我们说的是几天喝醉后 朋友之间
frenzied sex two years apart.
发♥生♥关♥系♥ 分开两年而已
That's your defense?
那就是你的辩白?
I didn't say it was a good defense.
我没说那是好的辩白
You'll have to forgive my brother.
你一定要原谅我的兄弟
He thinks with his penis,and his penis isn't very bright.
他是用老二思考的 他的老二不是非常聪明
That's true.Anybody who knows me would confirm that.
那说对了 任何认得我的人都会证明这一点.
I can confirm that.
我能证明那个
Oh,for God's sake.
哦 看在上帝的份上
Rose,did you tell your father we've been going out for two years?
萝丝 你有和你♥爸♥爸说 我们出去约会两年了吗?
Well,yeah.
哦 是的
I thought it sounded better than saying we had a ONS,
我想这听起来比我们有了一♥夜♥情♥
and then I stalked you for two years.
然后我跟踪了你两年好些
She's not wrong.
她说得没错
Daddy...
爸爸...
try to understand.
试着去理解
I didn't want you to feel sorry for me,or
我不想你为我难过 或者
try to set me up with anybody...
试着撮合我和谁...
or have me committed.
或者逼着人家娶我
Oh,sweetheart,I would never do that.
哦 甜心 我永远都不会那么做
We're a wealthy family.We can afford home care.
我们家庭还算充裕的 我们负担得起你的开销
Okay.Well,I'm glad we had this chance to clear the air.
好吧 我很高兴我们有这个机会 消除误会
I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about,so
我肯定你们两个有很多要谈 所以
I'll let you get to it.
我会让你们谈的
Mom?
妈妈?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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